Random LW-parodying Statement Generator
So, I were looking at this, and then suddenly this thing happened.
EDIT:
New version! I updated the link above to it as well. Added LOADS and LOADS of new content, although I’m not entirely sure if it’s actually more fun (my guess is there’s more total fun due to varity, but that it’s more diluted).
I ended up working on this basically the entire day to day, and implemented practically all my ideas I have so far, except for some grammar issues that’d require disproportionately much work. So unless there are loads of suggestions or my brain comes up with lots of new ideas over the next few days, this may be the last version in a while and I may call it beta and ask for spell-check. Still alpha as of writing this thou.
Since there were some close calls already, I’ll restate this explicitly: I’d be easier for everyone if there weren’t any forks for at least a few more days, even ones just for spell-checking. After that/I move this to beta feel more than free to do whatever you want.
Thanks to everyone who commented! ^_^
old Source, old version, latest source
Credits: http://lesswrong.com/lw/d2w/cards_against_rationality/ , http://lesswrong.com/lw/9ki/shit_rationalists_say/ , various people commenting on this article with suggestions, random people on the bay12 forums that helped me with the engine this is a descendent from ages ago.
OK, I’m impressed.
I saw this comment in Top Comments before reading the top-level post, and I thought the quote was by a human (as a reply to someone who was offended by the homo hypocritus explanation of something).
I am shocked that (according to Wei Dai’s page), this is now my most popular comment ever (with the runnerup at 39 points). It’s not that funny an insult of Robin, guys.
The upvotes are flowing freely in this thread, because we’re all brimming with positive affect! Yay!
I don’t find it to be an insult of Robin at all. (And don’t get me started about the scary things that page shows.)
Is it even an insult of Robin?
I took it that way, although since it was machine-generated there’s no ‘intent’ involved by the original speaker… Robin reminds me strongly of Hellman’s quote about cynicism—being an unpleasant way of telling the truth.
At the time of writing, it had more upvotes than the OP… surely that’s not right?
Well, you know the old joke about the repairman: the $1 for the labor, $99 for know what to labor on!
Actually, it is.
That isn’t going to help me sleep at night.
That’s actually not a terrible way to put it.
The thing knows its audience.
Well, it can already impersonate Will_Newsome, so passing the Turing test should not be that far off.
Also, some of the local big cheeses are allergic to the four-letter word starting with cu and ending with t, consider replacing.
everyone needs to stop being such a cunt about it.
You’re certainly sounding curt today. How rude.
And here I thought I was the cunningest.
Yes, but silver is good too.
One of the few cases where it’s a good idea to open a box containing death.
sounds legit to me!
I made a non-typo’d version if anyone is interested. Here it is: http://joshua-david.net/php/cards_against_rationality.php.
If anyone wants the php source code that made it, that’s here: http://joshua-david.net/php/cards_against_rationality.php.php.
Because I know LW is big on meta-anything, the source code for that source code can be found here: http://joshua-david.net/php/cards_against_rationality.php.php.php.
Some choice ones:
My karma score is the unit of caring.
That which can be destroyed by paperclips should be.
The coherent extrapolated volition of humanity includes a term for getting downvoted on Less Wrong.
Inside Eliezer Yudkowsky’s pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but Eliezer Yudkowsky.
What is true is already so. The chaos legion marching song doesn’t make it worse.
tip: put ?n=5 at the end for 5 of them
Rule 34:
Nice neg.
Make it stop, make it stop.
Why haven’t I signed up for a horcrux?
I’m signed up with Alcor, so Lukeprog’s love life will be frozen when I die.
Reversed Quirrellmort is not deathism.
I am running on corrupted tit-for-tat.
If you’re not getting the sequences, you’re spending too many resources on unfriendly AI.
A ridiculously complicated zendo rule is what the Stanford prison experiment feels like from the inside.
Absence of the least convenient possible world is evidence of applause lights.
What is true is already so. negging doesn’t make it worse.
Eliezer Yudkowsky is what acausal sex feels like from the inside.
Inside Eliezer Yudkowsky’s pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but counterfactual hugging.
“The thirteenth virtue of rationality is updating.”
“The thirteenth virtue of rationality is meta-contrarianism.”
“What is true is already so. negging doesn’t make it worse.”
“Eliezer Yudkowsky doesn’t have a chin; under his beard is Eliezer Yudkowsky.”
“Eliezer Yudkowsky updates the New York meetup group to fit his priors.”
“Sunk costs is highly correlated with two-boxing.” (Could be valid- this actually sounds like an interesting topic for an experiment.)
“If you’re not getting my karma score, you’re spending too many resources on getting downvoted on less wrong.”
To clarify, since I made the mistake and wrote out a long rant before noticing it and deleting said rant: This thing is not a different version of mine, but his own implementation that follows the original cords against rationality much more closely and in general has an entirely different philosophy than mine.
I actually like your implementation better, just because of the sheer complexity of the sentences it sometimes outputs (makes it sound more like LWers).
I’d better hope so, considering how much more complex my implementation is and how much more content I put into it.
...I am officially impressed (I just had a look at your code: it’s considerably more complex, as well as allowing for recursion. You may not be the best at spelling, but you are quite impressive as a coder.)
Thanks! ^_^
This needs to be written, or in fact any rationalist Rand crossover
Sometimes it returns an empty page.
Um...
Expanded, that means, “I want to want to want to not want [to smoke].” (Replace bracketed term with any other akratic habit. Remember, akrasia is, loosely, when you want to not want to do something.)
I’m still trying to unwind that. Belated happy birthday btw
Shouldn’t that be “I want to want to (want to smoke and want to not want to smoke)”?
That is some sweet theology.
That is a really pithy rebuttal to solipsism. It’s also what I would say to people if I were a solipsist.
So Zen.
So bloody Zen.
That’s… that’s a wee bit evil, isn’t it?
#trufax
Not that obvious.
In the new version of Newcomb’s problem, you have to choose between a box containing LessWrong and a box containing physics.
ouch.
Hmmm it seems we now have the technology to build an automated LessWrong poster. Merely program the bot to comment in heavy traffic threads where it sure to be noticed then after a fixed amount of time delete any comments that get less than 1 karma.
Man and machine, wisdom extreme!
I hereby request that the technology be named The Automated Teacher’s Password Guesser, because your comment about the higher frequency of such comments was the first thing I thought of when I saw this.
Of course, it’s practically a solved machine learning problem to also use those comments to learn what sorts of comments get downvoted and improve the bot.
If someone makes a really well-optimized version of Armok’s bot that pays attention to key words in comments and replies somewhat intelligently, I’ll give them the Will_Newsome LessWrong account to use for that purpose.
Alternatively I think a Will_Newsome bot that made lots of references to Leibniz and algorithmic information theory and decision theory concepts and then appealed to secret evidence would be pretty cool.
Awesome, that’ll go great alongside the “Ban comments by Will Newsome” bot we provide Alicorn!
I am now reminded of M-x psychoanalyze-pinhead.
You’re too conservative Konkvistador, I think I’d rather use these powers for chaos & destruction. Bwa, ha, ha.
I’m to the right of Konkvistador and I think this is a fully general argument contra Konkvistador.
I’m to the left of him and I agree, but I have to note that in our age political large-C Conservatism and being small-c conservative in practice have basically nothing to do with each other.
“The coherent extrapolated volition of Eliezer Yudowsky is the mind-killer.”
Well crap.
I would say that this makes sense about as often as the grad students in my philosophy department make sense, with only a few more spelling mistakes.
Uh-oh.
I think this is actually true.
I can handle humanity, because I am already enduring it.
Btw, the spelling errors were really bothering me, so I opened the JS and corrected it all. (I’d post it here, but it says “comment too long” and would probably do the same for a PM.)
Edit: I put it on pastebin for 24 hours. Thanks Vladimir_Nesov!
You could just use pastebin.
AUGH! I explicitly said in the OP NOT to do this. I’ll be adding more and redoing this and in general it’s just a lot of wasted effort that will have to be redone!
Sorry, I figured I had finished it soon enough that you could incorporate the spelling corrections before making more modifications.
This looks like a job for … Version Control! ~cheesy superhero music~
The site I’m using, JSbin, sort of has Version Control built in. But you didn’t use that...
Anyway, trying to copy the fixes like that from one version to another is probably more job then just redoing it from scratch. Less obviously, spellchecking new stuff added on top chaotically probably is more work than just doing it over as well. Hence, waiting until it’s out of alpha before handling it. Once I want help with the spelling I’ll probably post instructions on how to do it in a way that won’t interfere with other stuff.
And I also did it for my personal benefit (while using the generator on my computer), even if it would have no impact on future revs. So there. :-P j/k
You can link to your edit by copying the URL and removing the /edit portion, right?
“Why did my meta-contrarianism get downvoted?”
“I’m an aspiring Eliezer Yudkowsky.”
“You make a compelling argument for guessing the teacher’s password.”
“We have encountered aliens who communicate through the obvious schelling point.”
“You can’t fit a sheep into a Lukeprog’s love life.”
“The thirteenth virtue of rationality is my karma score.”
“You have no idea how big the set of all possible fetishes is.”
“An improperly-programmed AI might tile the universe with the Stanford prison experiment.”
“Instrumental rationality is the art of winning at nootropics.”
“The obvious schelling point is highly correlated with the least convenient possible world.”
“You have no idea how big moldbuggery is. ”
“The latest hot fanfic: updating and the Methods of meta-contrarianism.”
“What is true is already so. negging doesn’t make it worse.”
Arguably better than the average LessWrong poster.
Significantly better—the occasional recursion makes it way more reflective than the average poster.
New pick-up line:
A Kool-aidey pair:
This one’s for Clippy:
What ethical injuctions are for:
Getting rid of groupies:
Too late:
Aaaand this is as meta as it could be… is it?
Where did you get this from? the generator doesn’t have any of those in it yet.
I got it from faul_sname’s version and apparently made the mistake to comment to the main thread instead of his post, sorry for the confusion.
No. Meta has a infinite regress or you just aren’t meta enough about it.
If you aren’t getting an infinite regress, you’re spending too many resources on meta.
The outside view is what the Bayesian Conspiracy feels like from the inside.
That’s an actual useful truth we ought to keep in mind. Huh.
Almost true by definition?
.
Counterfactual Sex is a great band name.
As well as a much-loved pastime.
My first result: “I’m an aspiring rationalist.”
I was confused as to why this was funny, until I hit generate again and got “the choherent extrapolated volition of LessWrong is the mind-killer if and only if torture is truly part of Pinkie Pie.”
Edit: Followed by “The truth is isomorphic to sex.”
Is “choherent” a spelling error or an injoke?
Spelling error.
The twenty fourth virtue of rationality is “avoid a sex maxemizer at any cost”
True, that.
This thing talks truth.
“The Bayesian Conspiracy updates the truth to better fit its priors.”
That one almost sounds like ti means something…
A/an upload of Ben Goertzel would tile the universe with sex.
Hanson, or Yudkowsky? Tough choice.
I’m very impressed with the high proportion of results that turn out to be funny. I’m not sure whether this says something about your skill at programming the generater, about LW, or both.
Think it mainly says something about the nature of humour and human language actually. Or possibly my skill at coming up with the phrase templates- The actual logic is just iterated find-replace, and I’ve used the same engine earlier on a widely different subject with similar results.
Wow.
Edit: and this counterexample, immediately after.
Edit #2: Aargh.
I think I can maybe get behind this.
Place your bets ladies and gentlemen.
Does the UBG still believe in psi, and does the ULM get some sort of modafinil-equivalent for uploads? If so, I know how I’m betting.
That’s slightly disturbing.
No? Damn.
I don’t know if I want to read that argument or not.
Best vulnerability ever.
My first one:
Sounds like a “Chuck Norris Fact”.
Thanks for making this!
You’re welcome! ^_^
Take a wild guess.
HUH? I don’t have either of those in there either. Something weird is going on.
It is FOOMing. Run for your lives.
I think mine is from one of the other generators posted in the comments.
Dammit, Spock.
But you just said...
Okay. I’m done here.
There’s a Javascript library by Andrew Plotkin for this sort of thing that handles ‘a/an’ and capitalization and leaves your code less repetitive, etc.
Weird, I just found this random helpful post, marked as down-voted by me and with a strong aversion attached. Fixed the vote, but can’t figure out if the aversion is a bug or a feature.
In practice, true.
Amusing.
Clippy.
My second favorite one.
I do not know Luke in any way, and that’s not my orientation, but I lol’d.
Inside the Blind Idiot God Evolution’s pineal gland is not an immortal soul, but the truth.
I love this thing, we should include it as a site feature next to the comment button and compare user ratings on randomly generated posts to the rest.
I’m flattered!
And if we did that, it’d be even better since I’d be putting more work into it.
I love it!
Fixed it for you.
How long can they get?
in theory? infinite. Well, until your computer runs out of memory at least.
Does this mean that there is no physics in the truth-box? That’s an awesome box! I think I’m more excited about the box than what is inside it! Do I get to keep the box?
So, scope insensitivity?
Weeee...
This thing is Dark...
Them’s fightin’ words, Random Profound Deep Wisdom Generator!
This thing is still alive?! :D I really should get working on that updated version sometime.
“Sex is highly correlated with inferential gap.”
“Wait, wait, shock level seven is turning into Omega’s model of Harry Potter?”
“That which can be destroyed by the world of My little old master: Friendship is clopfic should be.”
“The set of all possible fetishes is what timeless Edward Cullen feels like from the inside.”
ok so far...
uh oh...
Well I guess we’re screwed.
Nah, we just have to be careful to include a space in our meetups.
“The map is not the territory.”
″Robin Hanson is vulnerable to death.”
Self-delusion or accurate beliefs? We all can empathize with this choice.
The twenty fourth virtue of rationality is “Relinquish the Way”.
Of course he is!
hrm...
I guess that one works.
The affective death spiral is isomorphic to this thread.
Isn’t that what Christians say happened to Jesus?
Sounds like an Olaf Stapledon fan.
As one of the creators of Cards Against Rationality, I have to say … glad you all enjoy it enough to code it up. :)
“An improperly-programmed AI might tile the universe with rationalist clopfic.”
″Affective death spirals will kill you because you are made of the Bayesian Conspiracy that it could use for something else.”
In the new version of Newcomb’s problem, you have to choose between a box containing politics and a box containing death
The twenty threeth virtue of rationality is “always obey the guiding inluence of Pinkie Pie”
politics is the art of winning at the utility function of God
The fifty fourth virtue of rationality is “avoid counterfactual truth at any cost”
“a sex maximizer is isomorpic to LessWrong” is obviusly false
that which can be destroyed by a million dollars should be
The forty twoth virtue of rationality is “always obey the guiding influence of Eliezer Yudowsky”
The forty twoth virtue of rationality is “avoid a cult at any cost”
Hello, Data.
… … … … it’s onto him.
“Absence of the sanity waterline is evidence of improperly-programmed Aubrey de Grey.”
Very nearly my thoughts exactly...
“This may sound a bit crazy right now, but hear me out: the Least Convenient Possible World is isomorpic to quantum infanticide.”
“Humanity is an aspiring matrochika brain.”
“That which can be destroyed by a timeless upload of Pinkie Pie should be.”
Oh my god this was even better
I’ll be honest, given Robin’s apparent enchantment with em hell and how the ‘poor also smile’, I think I’m going to go with turning the world into My Little Babyeater: Friendship is Infanticide. Hey, lots of societies historically practiced infanticide and were decent enough places to live.… At least that would preserve most current human values.
...
I’m an aspiring horcrux.
Given that I wrote this Orion’s Arm idea as an exploration of one possible lifestyle involving multiple instantiations of a single individual… I find that I am well pleased.
I love everything you write.
Also, I keep meaning to contact you by email but keeps forgetting.
In that case—conquer your akrasia and email me as soon as you read this. :)
(If you don’t have my contact info, it’s easy enough to remember—I’m DataPacRat at DataPacRat dot com.)
LessWrong is not the territory.
Seems Legit
Happy to hear it!
Is it bad that I almost instantly find a way to make sense of nearly all of these? For example:
Sounds like a reference to Hofstadter’s musings on reductive versus holistic descriptions of reality in Godel, Escher, Bach, when he used an anthill as an example.
That’s actually where I got the idea of adding anthill from.
More seed phrases
Thanks! Will look through these!
I <3 you.
D’awww, I love you to! ^_^
/me hugs
Come on, guys, get a room. (SCNR)
You forgot to ask before hugging.
*ducks*
Edit: Some more (some spelling corrections):
In an Iterated Prisoners’ Dilemma, Pinkie Pie beats you
General Artificial Intelligence is an aspiring human
In the new version of Newcomb’s problem, you have to choose between a box containing Eliezer Yudowsky and a box containing the choherent extrapolated volition of Pinkie Pie
universal death is not decision theory
Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don’t include you. (OUCH!)
(deleted it by accident, but something like) “The 25th virtue of rationality is avoid LessWrong at all costs” (pretty neat, since comes after a probable list size -- 24 -- and the source is LessWrong, reinforcing the idea that “you shouldn’t just do rationality here” a la “If you see Buddha on the road...”)
In an Iterated Prisoners’ Dilemma, Unfriendly an upload of Friendly Friendly a matrochika brain beats Unfriendly any god (I think an Unfriendly AI is winning there …)
Nice.
...I don’t like this game anymore :(
Hmmm… makes sense…
Seems sensible enough.
Nevermind.
Makes sense.
Truth is the mind-killer.
I got
Which made me go, “Well… yes.”
Well, it’s true.
Also, This is way smarter than than the Deepak Chopra quote generator.
Probably should be in the Open thread instead but I like this thing
Also it would take over the open thread.
Perhaps it should be used to generate the front page of notalwayscompletelywrong.com
Wow, people are still finding this occasionally. It fills me with Determination.
This is...what? I think my brain broke or else it went out to have a good laugh
.....I swear this is the last output I am going to write down
No, please continue, it’s always great fun to see someone enjoying this!
I am going to waste a lot of time on this thing if I don’t stop myself right now.
proceeds to stop
Here are some favorites I wanted to share. I think the simplest ones are best—they have a real Zen quality to them!
That which can be destroyed by awesome hugging should be.
A/an human is vulnerable to causal hugging.
I am running on universal warm fuzzies.
A/an upload of Ben Goertzel would tile the universe with sex.
Friendship is highly correlated with Friendly you.
Humanity is the mind-killer.
The truth is highly correlated with I.
The map is highly correlated with hypotheses.
The territory is not the territory.
There are no rationalists.
Azathoth created hugging, and made you like it.
Thanks for making this! It’s motivated me to copy and play around with your code, which I haven’t actually done with code before and which turns out to be insanely low hanging fruit for learning. (Which you already knew, but I didn’t.)
You’re welcome!
However, don’t do that quite yet since I’m planing to do more stuff and it’d lead to a mess of forking and having to redo things over and over. Feel free, and even encouraged, to make suggestions thou! (except spelling ones, to many of those to be workable at this stage)
Exception is if you’re redoing most of the templates and adapting it to some other form of statements than deeply wise LessWrong ones. Feel free to do that kind of using the engine as much as you want. Strongly recommend using the JSbin Clone feature for that.
Sounds deep, bro.
Instrumental stupidity is the art of winning at Pinkie Pie’s utility function.
Grammar is not a strange loop through subordinate clauses dammit. ><
Why not? :D
The new one gets a lot more variety, but hits on clever stuff with a lower frequency. I ran it for a while and only got a few worth sharing:
Universal friendship is a/an hugging maxemizer.
Paperclips is truly part of a/an corrupted upload of Pinkie Pie.
Yea, I got that feeling to. :(
Have you updated it since? It seems to be getting a lot better! After I started recording good ones, I got:
You know what a/an improperly-programmed upload of Pinkie Pie say: one person’s torture is another person’s rationality.
Corrupted Pinkie Pie would tile the universe with hypotheses.
The twenty fiveth virtue of rationality is “Beware of the utility function of any improperly-programmed General Arteficial Intelegences”.
Subjective physics is not rationality.
What are your priors on if a/an General Arteficial Intelegence once said: “look, just rejecting the sanity waterline and the planning fallacy doesn’t make someone a/an Friendly upload of Eliezer Yudowsky.”?
This may sound a bit crazy right now, but hear me out: that which can be destroyed by a/an human should be.
Before Lukeprog goes to sleep, it scans it’s computer for uploaded copies of a/an Unfriendly upload of Lukeprog.
This may sound a bit crazy right now, but hear me out: corrupted Omega is vulnerable to acausal infanticide.
(These are still at about the level of the results in my previous comment, but I got them a lot more frequently.)
Nope. Either you’re choosing from a larger sample this time or it’s just luck.
Another awesome one:
you make a compelling argument that a/an Unfriendly upload of Omega would tile the universe with rationality if and only if a/an rationalist is an aspiring god
Less Wrong is not a cult so long as our meetups don’t include an upload of Quieralmort.
Legal term?
From the new one:
Halt. Melt. Catch fire. Laugh.
Whoa.
Ouch.
I think a field type came in wrong here.
yea as I said I threw this together quickly, planing to do more today. The things starting with “a” is one of the things that need fixing.
An important reminder.
Huh....
True.
Please keep them, the incongruity of it all adds to the charm.
’kay.
Nice nice nice.
Poor Robin Hanson :P
He came to a DC meetup once.
So… crap.
Some favorites I wanted to share. I think the simplest ones are best—they have a real Zen master quality to them!
That which can be destroyed by awesome hugging should be.
A/an human is vulnerable to causal hugging.
I am running on universal warm fuzzies.
A/an upload of Ben Goertzel would tile the universe with sex.
Friendship is highly correlated with Friendly you.
Humanity is the mind-killer.
The truth is highly correlated with I.
The map is highly correlated with hypotheses.
The territory is not the territory.
There are no rationalists.
Found wisdom?
In the new version of Newcomb’s problem, you have to choose between a box containing quantum politics and a box containing Eliezer Yudowsky
I still aleve that In an Iterated Prisoners’ Dilemma, Robin Hanson beats Eliezer Yudowsky
Unfriendly God is isomorpic to sex if and only if Pinkie Pie is isomorpic to humanity if and only if you are an aspiearing human