Your reaction seems to be “this ritual stuff smacks of religion, and I don’t want to get involved with any of that!”.
That’s not my response at all. I’m afraid you seem to be reading things into my response that are simply not there. There seems to be some sort of misunderstanding here that’s causing you to set up (what is from my perspective) a straw man about objections to religion and then extensively knocking it down with arguments that have little bearing on what I’ve said.
I don’t know why that is; perhaps I’ve been unclear; perhaps you are rounding to the nearest common objection? In any case, my objection has nothing directly to do with these rituals “smacking of religion”. I do think, as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, that the desire for such rituals is stronger in people who come from a religious background and are used to such things from their youth. (I also have to wonder — and this is a bit of an aside — why we should use rituals that draw so directly from religion in form: someone (juliawise?) mentioned saying grace at the meal, and that strikes me as incredibly unlikely to be something an entirely non-religious person would come up with if given the task of “think of some cool and effective rituals”.)
I do experience the emotion of sacredness. What I find extremely offputting and downright scary is the collectivization of that emotion. I don’t like spectator sports, protests, and other mass actions for the same reason (substitute pride, righteous anger, or whatever other appropriate emotion for sacredness in those examples). I have absolutely no desire to subordinate my feelings of exaltation and transcendence to a group. While I can’t say that triggering sacredness in a collective “secular” context is as bad as triggering it in a collective religious context, the fundamental problem is the same.
someone (juliawise?) mentioned saying grace at the meal, and that strikes me as incredibly unlikely to be something an entirely non-religious person would come up with if given the task of “think of some cool and effective rituals”
I think grace is underrated. As I said, I’m used to silent grace about three breaths long. It gives you fifteen seconds to relax your body, look around at who is gathered, and think “We are about to sit down and eat together. It’s nice to be here.”
As has been extensively pointed out in Eliezer’s writings and elsewhere on this site, you can come up with a reasonable-sounding justification for just about anything; if you start with your bottom line filled in, the rest of the page is easy to write.
Here’s a question. You’re saying that the value of grace at a meal is that it gives you, personally, some time to whatever (relax, look around, think, etc.). You would therefore be perfectly ok with being the only one at the table participating in this silent grace ritual, or being one of only some participants, while the others merrily dug in and proceeded with conversation — yes?
I sometimes do it alone if no one else is doing it, yes. Or two of us may do it if the others in the family don’t want to. But I enjoy it more if we all do it at once. This seems to set off some kind of alarm bell with you, and I’m not sure there’s a good reason it should or shouldn’t set off alarms other than some kind of aesthetic preference.
This seems to set off some kind of alarm bell with you
Indeed it does. Because it’s a short step from there to social pressure on people who wouldn’t otherwise have any interest or motivation whatsoever in participating.
And here’s the thing: it’s a different sort of social pressure than the sort experienced by e.g. someone who doesn’t feel like playing a board game that everyone else at the party is playing, or someone who isn’t hungry when everyone else is deciding whether to go to a restaurant for dinner. It’s not “everyone else is doing it; join in, it’ll be fun!”; it’s not “your abstention is making the situation less convenient for everyone else”; it’s “you’re offending the group by not participating”.
I’m not saying that you apply such social pressure on people, only explaining the reason for the alarm bells.
I like the feeling of doing things together. We can probably both think of evolutionary and neurological reasons why humans enjoy group activities. Ultimately, like I said, I think it boils down to an aesthetic preference that isn’t right or wrong.
I see your point about not letting this become a social pressure on people who don’t want to participate, and I’ll try to be mindful of this.
Yes, at this point I’d have to agree that it’s an aesthetic preference, neither right nor wrong, though I think it’s a preference with potential dangerous consequences, on which point it seems we’ve also come to some sort of agreement. That said, I appreciate that you’ve given my view consideration; some of my comments may have come off as less tactful than I intended, and you and other commenters have been quite patient.
By the way, thank you for the link; as it happens, reading the post and some of the comments has cemented my views on rituals and group bonding. I think this comment by JenniferRM (and her longer comment just downthread) is very insightful and quite appropriate to the current discussion.
ETA: Another data point for the “some people don’t like this sort of thing” claim.
My family has a similar tradition of silence before meals. It provides a moment to relax and change mindset to meal time. It says that this is a time to spend together, and not just another thing to be rushed through. It’s nice if everyone participates, because that provides a pause in conversation and makes it easier to stop and relax.
I think before meals is not that unlikely a time working from a blank slate. There is something powerful about sharing food. It’s a bonding ritual. Using that same time to reflect and relax makes the moment of silence, grace, etc. more effective.
Agreed. As I mentioned at the last meetup, saying grace is a form of negative visualization, which allows you to gain more satisfaction from your meal than you otherwise would. It works by using framing-effects to change your “default” mindset from having the meal to not having it.
Separately and unrelatedly, I really feel rather unsettled by the fact that you’re using Eliezer’s writings as a kind of… I don’t know, mass? Sermon? It seems to me like that’s taking entirely the wrong message away from all of it… to actually enshrine it as a sacred tradition or ritual of some sort.
as being motivated by a dislike of religious ritual, as it explicitly mentioned “mass” and “sermon” as examples of things to avoid. But upon a re-reading, I can see that you were rather worried about Eliezer’s writings being promoted to a status where they wouldn’t be questioned.
Also, I might have somewhat used your comment as an excuse to make a general point I’d been wanting to make for a while. Sorry about that. But also thank you, for giving me an excuse to make it. ;)
All of that said, I can understand having a dislike of the collectivization of sacredness, I just don’t share it myself.
Heh, no worries. Rereading that quoted bit of mine, I can see the source of the confusion. Your revised interpretation of my intent is correct.
Incidentally, the term “sermon” as applied in this context is from Yvain’s linked review.
Also, I might have somewhat used your comment as an excuse to make a general point I’d been wanting to make for a while. Sorry about that. But also thank you, for giving me an excuse to make it. ;)
In Japan, it is customary to say “itadakimasu” before eating, which is a sort of grace, and which is not seen as religious at all.
My dad has a gracelike ritual which he has carried on despite having been an atheist for decades (people lean over to kiss those sitting next to them) which my mom and many others have been very happy with.
In Japan, it is customary to say “itadakimasu” before eating, which is a sort of grace, and which is not seen as religious at all.
Many languages have equivalents of bon appétit. That’s like “cheers!” but for food instead of drinks. (In English there’s “enjoy your meal” but IME IIRC it’s very uncommon among native speakers in non-formal situations.)
Hmm. Well, first of all, I don’t guarantee that what I’m thinking of is the same (or analogous) emotion as what everyone else here is talking about; after all, if I don’t experience it in the same way, or in the same condition, who’s to say it’s even the same thing at all? But to pursue that line of reasoning is to get into the problem of other minds, and that’s probably an unnecessary tangent. (Although this may be empirically investigated; perhaps check to see whether the same parts of my brain and e.g. Raemon’s brain trigger in situations we would both describe as being consistent with emotional responses to sacredness, etc.)
Anyway, to your question: the most recent thing I can think of was watching Cosmos (as in the Carl Sagan series, and yes, I really hadn’t ever seen it before this year). Some parts of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality trigger a similar feeling.
As an aside, I think sacredness is not the most apt term for this emotion; I think a better word might be exaltation.
I think of sacredness and exaltation as overlapping circles in a ven diagram. The parts of HP:MoR that I assume you’re talking to are both exalting and sacred to me. They’re specifically about humanity rising up and conquering a powerful challenge.
Wandering out into the night and looking at the stars gives me a sense of sacredness that is not inherently about exaltation—My connotation of exaltation is a sort of power, and the stars make me feel simultaneously big and small, but in such a way that power is almost irrelevant. I’m just experiencing being this small but meaningful part of the universe. I’m not sure if my use of the words here is common though.
Mmm… I sort of see what you mean. What I meant was that “sacredness” does not feel grammatically appropriate to be naming an emotion. Also, “sacredness” in the moral-philosophy sense in which I’ve seen it used refers to an infinite value, something which may not be traded off. I wouldn’t apply the term to stars (don’t get me wrong, contemplating the cosmos does trigger in me that-emotion-to-which-I-think-we’re-both-referring, I just don’t think they have infinite value; to the extent that I think anything could sensibly be construed to have infinite value, stars just don’t qualify).
That’s not my response at all. I’m afraid you seem to be reading things into my response that are simply not there. There seems to be some sort of misunderstanding here that’s causing you to set up (what is from my perspective) a straw man about objections to religion and then extensively knocking it down with arguments that have little bearing on what I’ve said.
I don’t know why that is; perhaps I’ve been unclear; perhaps you are rounding to the nearest common objection? In any case, my objection has nothing directly to do with these rituals “smacking of religion”. I do think, as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, that the desire for such rituals is stronger in people who come from a religious background and are used to such things from their youth. (I also have to wonder — and this is a bit of an aside — why we should use rituals that draw so directly from religion in form: someone (juliawise?) mentioned saying grace at the meal, and that strikes me as incredibly unlikely to be something an entirely non-religious person would come up with if given the task of “think of some cool and effective rituals”.)
I do experience the emotion of sacredness. What I find extremely offputting and downright scary is the collectivization of that emotion. I don’t like spectator sports, protests, and other mass actions for the same reason (substitute pride, righteous anger, or whatever other appropriate emotion for sacredness in those examples). I have absolutely no desire to subordinate my feelings of exaltation and transcendence to a group. While I can’t say that triggering sacredness in a collective “secular” context is as bad as triggering it in a collective religious context, the fundamental problem is the same.
I think grace is underrated. As I said, I’m used to silent grace about three breaths long. It gives you fifteen seconds to relax your body, look around at who is gathered, and think “We are about to sit down and eat together. It’s nice to be here.”
As has been extensively pointed out in Eliezer’s writings and elsewhere on this site, you can come up with a reasonable-sounding justification for just about anything; if you start with your bottom line filled in, the rest of the page is easy to write.
Here’s a question. You’re saying that the value of grace at a meal is that it gives you, personally, some time to whatever (relax, look around, think, etc.). You would therefore be perfectly ok with being the only one at the table participating in this silent grace ritual, or being one of only some participants, while the others merrily dug in and proceeded with conversation — yes?
I sometimes do it alone if no one else is doing it, yes. Or two of us may do it if the others in the family don’t want to. But I enjoy it more if we all do it at once. This seems to set off some kind of alarm bell with you, and I’m not sure there’s a good reason it should or shouldn’t set off alarms other than some kind of aesthetic preference.
Would you be able to explain why that is?
Indeed it does. Because it’s a short step from there to social pressure on people who wouldn’t otherwise have any interest or motivation whatsoever in participating.
And here’s the thing: it’s a different sort of social pressure than the sort experienced by e.g. someone who doesn’t feel like playing a board game that everyone else at the party is playing, or someone who isn’t hungry when everyone else is deciding whether to go to a restaurant for dinner. It’s not “everyone else is doing it; join in, it’ll be fun!”; it’s not “your abstention is making the situation less convenient for everyone else”; it’s “you’re offending the group by not participating”.
I’m not saying that you apply such social pressure on people, only explaining the reason for the alarm bells.
I like the feeling of doing things together. We can probably both think of evolutionary and neurological reasons why humans enjoy group activities. Ultimately, like I said, I think it boils down to an aesthetic preference that isn’t right or wrong.
I see your point about not letting this become a social pressure on people who don’t want to participate, and I’ll try to be mindful of this.
Yes, at this point I’d have to agree that it’s an aesthetic preference, neither right nor wrong, though I think it’s a preference with potential dangerous consequences, on which point it seems we’ve also come to some sort of agreement. That said, I appreciate that you’ve given my view consideration; some of my comments may have come off as less tactful than I intended, and you and other commenters have been quite patient.
By the way, thank you for the link; as it happens, reading the post and some of the comments has cemented my views on rituals and group bonding. I think this comment by JenniferRM (and her longer comment just downthread) is very insightful and quite appropriate to the current discussion.
ETA: Another data point for the “some people don’t like this sort of thing” claim.
My family has a similar tradition of silence before meals. It provides a moment to relax and change mindset to meal time. It says that this is a time to spend together, and not just another thing to be rushed through. It’s nice if everyone participates, because that provides a pause in conversation and makes it easier to stop and relax.
I think before meals is not that unlikely a time working from a blank slate. There is something powerful about sharing food. It’s a bonding ritual. Using that same time to reflect and relax makes the moment of silence, grace, etc. more effective.
Agreed. As I mentioned at the last meetup, saying grace is a form of negative visualization, which allows you to gain more satisfaction from your meal than you otherwise would. It works by using framing-effects to change your “default” mindset from having the meal to not having it.
That was more of a joke. This is what was said: “To all whom it may concern, thanks.”
My apologies, then. I read this part:
as being motivated by a dislike of religious ritual, as it explicitly mentioned “mass” and “sermon” as examples of things to avoid. But upon a re-reading, I can see that you were rather worried about Eliezer’s writings being promoted to a status where they wouldn’t be questioned.
Also, I might have somewhat used your comment as an excuse to make a general point I’d been wanting to make for a while. Sorry about that. But also thank you, for giving me an excuse to make it. ;)
All of that said, I can understand having a dislike of the collectivization of sacredness, I just don’t share it myself.
Heh, no worries. Rereading that quoted bit of mine, I can see the source of the confusion. Your revised interpretation of my intent is correct.
Incidentally, the term “sermon” as applied in this context is from Yvain’s linked review.
Hah. Glad to provide, I suppose. ;)
In Japan, it is customary to say “itadakimasu” before eating, which is a sort of grace, and which is not seen as religious at all.
My dad has a gracelike ritual which he has carried on despite having been an atheist for decades (people lean over to kiss those sitting next to them) which my mom and many others have been very happy with.
Many languages have equivalents of bon appétit. That’s like “cheers!” but for food instead of drinks. (In English there’s “enjoy your meal” but IME IIRC it’s very uncommon among native speakers in non-formal situations.)
Can you explain what you did to experience it? (Sorry to go off on a tangent, but I’m curious what it feels like.)
Hmm. Well, first of all, I don’t guarantee that what I’m thinking of is the same (or analogous) emotion as what everyone else here is talking about; after all, if I don’t experience it in the same way, or in the same condition, who’s to say it’s even the same thing at all? But to pursue that line of reasoning is to get into the problem of other minds, and that’s probably an unnecessary tangent. (Although this may be empirically investigated; perhaps check to see whether the same parts of my brain and e.g. Raemon’s brain trigger in situations we would both describe as being consistent with emotional responses to sacredness, etc.)
Anyway, to your question: the most recent thing I can think of was watching Cosmos (as in the Carl Sagan series, and yes, I really hadn’t ever seen it before this year). Some parts of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality trigger a similar feeling.
As an aside, I think sacredness is not the most apt term for this emotion; I think a better word might be exaltation.
I think of sacredness and exaltation as overlapping circles in a ven diagram. The parts of HP:MoR that I assume you’re talking to are both exalting and sacred to me. They’re specifically about humanity rising up and conquering a powerful challenge.
Wandering out into the night and looking at the stars gives me a sense of sacredness that is not inherently about exaltation—My connotation of exaltation is a sort of power, and the stars make me feel simultaneously big and small, but in such a way that power is almost irrelevant. I’m just experiencing being this small but meaningful part of the universe. I’m not sure if my use of the words here is common though.
Mmm… I sort of see what you mean. What I meant was that “sacredness” does not feel grammatically appropriate to be naming an emotion. Also, “sacredness” in the moral-philosophy sense in which I’ve seen it used refers to an infinite value, something which may not be traded off. I wouldn’t apply the term to stars (don’t get me wrong, contemplating the cosmos does trigger in me that-emotion-to-which-I-think-we’re-both-referring, I just don’t think they have infinite value; to the extent that I think anything could sensibly be construed to have infinite value, stars just don’t qualify).