Wanting cryo signals disloyalty to your present allies.
Women, it seems, are especially sensitive to this (mothers, wives). Here’s my explanation for why:
Women are better than men at analyzing the social-signalling theory of actions. In fact, they (mostly) obsess about that kind of thing, e.g. watching soap operas, gossiping, people watching, etc. (disclaimer: on average)
They are less rational than men (only slightly, on average), and this is compounded by the fact that they are less knowledgeable about technical things (disclaimer: on average), especially physics, computer science, etc.
Women are more bound by social convention and less able to be lone dissenters. Asch’s conformity experiment found women to be more conforming.
Because of (2) and (3), women find it harder than men to take cryo seriously. Therefore, they are much more likely to think that it is not a feasible thing for them to do
Because they are so into analyzing social signalling, they focus in on what cryo signals about a person. Overwhelmingly: selfishness, and as they don’t think they’re going with you, betrayal.
I think that what would work is signing up before you start a relationship, and making it clear that it’s a part of who you are.
Ah, but did you notice that that did not work for Robin? (The NYT article says that Robin discussed it with Peggy when they were getting to know each other.)
It “worked” for Robin to the extent that Robin got to decide whether to marry Peggy after they discussed cryonics. Presumably they decided that they preferred each other to hypothetical spouses with the same stance on cryonics.
Aha, but if I signed up, I’d have to non-conform, darling. Think of what all the other girls at the office would say about me! It would be worse than death!
In the case of refusing cryonics, I doubt that fear of social judgment is the largest factor or even close. It’s relatively easy to avoid judgment without incurring terrible costs—many people signed up for cryonics have simply never mentioned it to the girls and boys in the office. I’m willing to bet that most people, even if you promised that their decision to choose cryonics would be entirely private, would hardly waver in their refusal.
For what it’s worth Steven Kaas emphasized social weirdness as a decent argument against signing up. I’m not sure what his reasoning was, but given that he’s Steven Kaas I’m going to update on expected evidence (that there is a significant social cost so signing up that I cannot at the moment see).
The NYT article points out that you sometimes want other people to know—your wife’s cooperation at the hospital deathbed will make it much easier for the Alcor people to wisk you away.
It’s not an argument against signing up, unless the expected utility of the decision is borderline positive and it’s specifically the increased probability of failure because of lack of additional assistance of your family that tilts the balance to the negative.
Given that there are examples of children or spouses actively preventing (and succeeding) cryopreservation, that means there’s an additional few % chance of complete failure. Given the low chance to begin with (I think another commenter says noone expects cryonics to succeed with more than 1⁄4 probability?), that damages the expected utility badly.
An additional failure mode with a few % chance of happening damages the expected utility by a few %. Unless you have some reason to think that this cause of failure is anticorrelated with other causes of failure?
If I initially estimate that cyronics in aggregate has a 10% chance of succeeding, and I then estimate that my spouse/children have a 5% chance of preventing my cryopreservation, does my expected utility decline by only 5%?
Maybe the husband/son should preemptively play the “if you don’t sign up with me, you’re betraying me” card?
If my spouse played that card too hard I’d sign up to cryonics then I’d dump them. (“Too hard” would probably mean more than one issue and persisting against clearly expressed boundaries.) Apart from the manipulative aspect it is just, well, stupid. At least manipulate me with “you will be abandoning me!” you silly man/woman/intelligent agent of choice.
Maybe the husband/son should preemptively play the “if you don’t sign up with me, you’re betraying me” card?
Voted up as an interesting suggestion. That said, I think that if anyone feels a need to be playing that card in a preemptive fashion then a relationship is probably not very functional to start with. Moreover, given that signing up is a change from the status quo I suspect that attempting to play that card would go over poorly in general.
That said, I think that if anyone feels a need to be playing that card in a preemptive fashion then a relationship is probably not very functional to start with.
Can you expand on that? I’m not sure why this particular card is any worse than what people in functional relationships typically do.
Moreover, given that signing up is a change from the status quo I suspect that attempting to play that card would go over poorly in general.
Right, so sign up before entering the relationship, then play that card. :)
I would say that if you aren’t yet married, be prepared to dump them if they won’t sign up with you. Because if they won’t, that is a strong signal to you that they are not a good spouse. These kinds of signals are important to pay attention to in the courtship process.
After marriage, you are hooked regardless of what decision they make on their own suspension arrangements, because it’s their own life. You’ve entered the contract, and the fact they want to do something stupid does not change that. But you should consider dumping them if they refuse to help with the process (at least in simple matters like calling Alcor), as that actually crosses the line into betrayal (however passive) and could get you killed.
Can you expand on that? I’m not sure why this particular card is any worse than what people in functional relationships typically do.
We may have different definitions of “functional relationship.” I’d put very high on the list of elements of a functional relationship that people don’t go out of there way to consciously manipulate each other over substantial life decisions.
Um, it’s a matter of life or death, so of course I’m going to “go out of my way”.
As for “consciously manipulate”, it seems to me that people in all relationships consciously manipulate each other all the time, in the sense of using words to form arguments in order to convince the other person to do what they want. So again, why is this particular form of manipulation not considered acceptable? Is it because you consider it a lie, that is, you don’t think you would really feel betrayed or abandoned if your significant other decided not to sign up with you? (In that case would it be ok if you did think you would feel betrayed/abandoned?) Or is it something else?
So again, why is this particular form of manipulation not considered acceptable?
It is a good question. The distinctive feature of this class of influence is the overt use of guilt and shame, combined with the projection of the speaker’s alleged emotional state onto the actual physical actions of the recipient. It is a symptom relationship dynamic that many people consider immature and unhealthy.
It is a symptom relationship dynamic that many people consider immature and unhealthy.
I’m tempted to keep asking why (ideally in terms of game theory and/or evolutionary psychology) but I’m afraid of coming across as obnoxious at this point. So let me just ask, do you think there is a better way of making the point, that from the perspective of the cryonicist, he’s not abandoning his SO, but rather it’s the other way around? Or do you think that its not worth bring up at all?
Wanting cryo signals disloyalty to your present allies.
I don’t see why you’d be showing disloyalty to those of your allies who are also choosing cryo.
Here are some more possible reasons for being opposed to cryo.
Loss aversion. “It would be really stupid to put in that hope and money and get nothing for it.”
Fear that it might be too hard to adapt to the future society. (James Halperin’s The First Immortal has it that no one gets thawed unless someone is willing to help them adapt. would that make cryo seem more or less attractive?)
And, not being an expert on women, I have no idea why there’s a substantial difference in the proportions of men and women who are opposed to cryo.
Difference between showing and signalling disloyalty. To see that it is a signal of disloyalty/lower commitment, consider what signal would be sent out by Rob saying to Ruby: “Yes, I think cryo would work, but I think life would be meaningless without you by my side, so I won’t bother”
It’s seems to also be a signal of disloyalty/lower commitment to say, “No honey, I won’t throw myself on your funeral pyre after you die.” Why don’t we similarly demand “Yes, I could keep on living, but I think life would be meaningless without you by my side, so I won’t bother” in that case?
You have to differentiate between what an individual thinks/does/decides, and what society as a whole thinks/does/decides.
For example, in a society that generally accepted that it was the “done thing” for a person to die on the funeral pyre of their partner, saying that you wanted to make a deal to buck the trend would certainly be seen as selfish.
Most individuals see the world in terms of options that are socially allowable, and signals are considered relative to what is socially allowable.
Wanting cryo signals disloyalty to your present allies.
Women, it seems, are especially sensitive to this (mothers, wives). Here’s my explanation for why:
Women are better than men at analyzing the social-signalling theory of actions. In fact, they (mostly) obsess about that kind of thing, e.g. watching soap operas, gossiping, people watching, etc. (disclaimer: on average)
They are less rational than men (only slightly, on average), and this is compounded by the fact that they are less knowledgeable about technical things (disclaimer: on average), especially physics, computer science, etc.
Women are more bound by social convention and less able to be lone dissenters. Asch’s conformity experiment found women to be more conforming.
Because of (2) and (3), women find it harder than men to take cryo seriously. Therefore, they are much more likely to think that it is not a feasible thing for them to do
Because they are so into analyzing social signalling, they focus in on what cryo signals about a person. Overwhelmingly: selfishness, and as they don’t think they’re going with you, betrayal.
If you’re right, this suggests a useful spin on the disclosure: “I want you to run away with me—to the FUTURE!”
However, it was my dad, not my mom, who called me selfish when I brought up cryo.
I think that what would work is signing up before you start a relationship, and making it clear that it’s a part of who you are.
For parents, you can’t do this, but they’re your parents, they’ll love you through thick and thin.
Ah, but did you notice that that did not work for Robin? (The NYT article says that Robin discussed it with Peggy when they were getting to know each other.)
It “worked” for Robin to the extent that Robin got to decide whether to marry Peggy after they discussed cryonics. Presumably they decided that they preferred each other to hypothetical spouses with the same stance on cryonics.
Thanks. (Upvoted.)
Maybe the husband/son should preemptively play the “if you don’t sign up with me, you’re betraying me” card?
Aha, but if I signed up, I’d have to non-conform, darling. Think of what all the other girls at the office would say about me! It would be worse than death!
In the case of refusing cryonics, I doubt that fear of social judgment is the largest factor or even close. It’s relatively easy to avoid judgment without incurring terrible costs—many people signed up for cryonics have simply never mentioned it to the girls and boys in the office. I’m willing to bet that most people, even if you promised that their decision to choose cryonics would be entirely private, would hardly waver in their refusal.
For what it’s worth Steven Kaas emphasized social weirdness as a decent argument against signing up. I’m not sure what his reasoning was, but given that he’s Steven Kaas I’m going to update on expected evidence (that there is a significant social cost so signing up that I cannot at the moment see).
I don’t get why social weirdness is an issue. Can’t you just not tell anyone that you’ve signed up?
The NYT article points out that you sometimes want other people to know—your wife’s cooperation at the hospital deathbed will make it much easier for the Alcor people to wisk you away.
It’s not an argument against signing up, unless the expected utility of the decision is borderline positive and it’s specifically the increased probability of failure because of lack of additional assistance of your family that tilts the balance to the negative.
Given that there are examples of children or spouses actively preventing (and succeeding) cryopreservation, that means there’s an additional few % chance of complete failure. Given the low chance to begin with (I think another commenter says noone expects cryonics to succeed with more than 1⁄4 probability?), that damages the expected utility badly.
An additional failure mode with a few % chance of happening damages the expected utility by a few %. Unless you have some reason to think that this cause of failure is anticorrelated with other causes of failure?
If I initially estimate that cyronics in aggregate has a 10% chance of succeeding, and I then estimate that my spouse/children have a 5% chance of preventing my cryopreservation, does my expected utility decline by only 5%?
Are you still involved in Remember 11?
If my spouse played that card too hard I’d sign up to cryonics then I’d dump them. (“Too hard” would probably mean more than one issue and persisting against clearly expressed boundaries.) Apart from the manipulative aspect it is just, well, stupid. At least manipulate me with “you will be abandoning me!” you silly man/woman/intelligent agent of choice.
Voted up as an interesting suggestion. That said, I think that if anyone feels a need to be playing that card in a preemptive fashion then a relationship is probably not very functional to start with. Moreover, given that signing up is a change from the status quo I suspect that attempting to play that card would go over poorly in general.
Can you expand on that? I’m not sure why this particular card is any worse than what people in functional relationships typically do.
Right, so sign up before entering the relationship, then play that card. :)
I would say that if you aren’t yet married, be prepared to dump them if they won’t sign up with you. Because if they won’t, that is a strong signal to you that they are not a good spouse. These kinds of signals are important to pay attention to in the courtship process.
After marriage, you are hooked regardless of what decision they make on their own suspension arrangements, because it’s their own life. You’ve entered the contract, and the fact they want to do something stupid does not change that. But you should consider dumping them if they refuse to help with the process (at least in simple matters like calling Alcor), as that actually crosses the line into betrayal (however passive) and could get you killed.
We may have different definitions of “functional relationship.” I’d put very high on the list of elements of a functional relationship that people don’t go out of there way to consciously manipulate each other over substantial life decisions.
Um, it’s a matter of life or death, so of course I’m going to “go out of my way”.
As for “consciously manipulate”, it seems to me that people in all relationships consciously manipulate each other all the time, in the sense of using words to form arguments in order to convince the other person to do what they want. So again, why is this particular form of manipulation not considered acceptable? Is it because you consider it a lie, that is, you don’t think you would really feel betrayed or abandoned if your significant other decided not to sign up with you? (In that case would it be ok if you did think you would feel betrayed/abandoned?) Or is it something else?
It is a good question. The distinctive feature of this class of influence is the overt use of guilt and shame, combined with the projection of the speaker’s alleged emotional state onto the actual physical actions of the recipient. It is a symptom relationship dynamic that many people consider immature and unhealthy.
I’m tempted to keep asking why (ideally in terms of game theory and/or evolutionary psychology) but I’m afraid of coming across as obnoxious at this point. So let me just ask, do you think there is a better way of making the point, that from the perspective of the cryonicist, he’s not abandoning his SO, but rather it’s the other way around? Or do you think that its not worth bring up at all?
I don’t see why you’d be showing disloyalty to those of your allies who are also choosing cryo.
Here are some more possible reasons for being opposed to cryo.
Loss aversion. “It would be really stupid to put in that hope and money and get nothing for it.”
Fear that it might be too hard to adapt to the future society. (James Halperin’s The First Immortal has it that no one gets thawed unless someone is willing to help them adapt. would that make cryo seem more or less attractive?)
And, not being an expert on women, I have no idea why there’s a substantial difference in the proportions of men and women who are opposed to cryo.
Difference between showing and signalling disloyalty. To see that it is a signal of disloyalty/lower commitment, consider what signal would be sent out by Rob saying to Ruby: “Yes, I think cryo would work, but I think life would be meaningless without you by my side, so I won’t bother”
It’s seems to also be a signal of disloyalty/lower commitment to say, “No honey, I won’t throw myself on your funeral pyre after you die.” Why don’t we similarly demand “Yes, I could keep on living, but I think life would be meaningless without you by my side, so I won’t bother” in that case?
You have to differentiate between what an individual thinks/does/decides, and what society as a whole thinks/does/decides.
For example, in a society that generally accepted that it was the “done thing” for a person to die on the funeral pyre of their partner, saying that you wanted to make a deal to buck the trend would certainly be seen as selfish.
Most individuals see the world in terms of options that are socially allowable, and signals are considered relative to what is socially allowable.