That said, I think that if anyone feels a need to be playing that card in a preemptive fashion then a relationship is probably not very functional to start with.
Can you expand on that? I’m not sure why this particular card is any worse than what people in functional relationships typically do.
Moreover, given that signing up is a change from the status quo I suspect that attempting to play that card would go over poorly in general.
Right, so sign up before entering the relationship, then play that card. :)
I would say that if you aren’t yet married, be prepared to dump them if they won’t sign up with you. Because if they won’t, that is a strong signal to you that they are not a good spouse. These kinds of signals are important to pay attention to in the courtship process.
After marriage, you are hooked regardless of what decision they make on their own suspension arrangements, because it’s their own life. You’ve entered the contract, and the fact they want to do something stupid does not change that. But you should consider dumping them if they refuse to help with the process (at least in simple matters like calling Alcor), as that actually crosses the line into betrayal (however passive) and could get you killed.
Can you expand on that? I’m not sure why this particular card is any worse than what people in functional relationships typically do.
We may have different definitions of “functional relationship.” I’d put very high on the list of elements of a functional relationship that people don’t go out of there way to consciously manipulate each other over substantial life decisions.
Um, it’s a matter of life or death, so of course I’m going to “go out of my way”.
As for “consciously manipulate”, it seems to me that people in all relationships consciously manipulate each other all the time, in the sense of using words to form arguments in order to convince the other person to do what they want. So again, why is this particular form of manipulation not considered acceptable? Is it because you consider it a lie, that is, you don’t think you would really feel betrayed or abandoned if your significant other decided not to sign up with you? (In that case would it be ok if you did think you would feel betrayed/abandoned?) Or is it something else?
So again, why is this particular form of manipulation not considered acceptable?
It is a good question. The distinctive feature of this class of influence is the overt use of guilt and shame, combined with the projection of the speaker’s alleged emotional state onto the actual physical actions of the recipient. It is a symptom relationship dynamic that many people consider immature and unhealthy.
It is a symptom relationship dynamic that many people consider immature and unhealthy.
I’m tempted to keep asking why (ideally in terms of game theory and/or evolutionary psychology) but I’m afraid of coming across as obnoxious at this point. So let me just ask, do you think there is a better way of making the point, that from the perspective of the cryonicist, he’s not abandoning his SO, but rather it’s the other way around? Or do you think that its not worth bring up at all?
Can you expand on that? I’m not sure why this particular card is any worse than what people in functional relationships typically do.
Right, so sign up before entering the relationship, then play that card. :)
I would say that if you aren’t yet married, be prepared to dump them if they won’t sign up with you. Because if they won’t, that is a strong signal to you that they are not a good spouse. These kinds of signals are important to pay attention to in the courtship process.
After marriage, you are hooked regardless of what decision they make on their own suspension arrangements, because it’s their own life. You’ve entered the contract, and the fact they want to do something stupid does not change that. But you should consider dumping them if they refuse to help with the process (at least in simple matters like calling Alcor), as that actually crosses the line into betrayal (however passive) and could get you killed.
We may have different definitions of “functional relationship.” I’d put very high on the list of elements of a functional relationship that people don’t go out of there way to consciously manipulate each other over substantial life decisions.
Um, it’s a matter of life or death, so of course I’m going to “go out of my way”.
As for “consciously manipulate”, it seems to me that people in all relationships consciously manipulate each other all the time, in the sense of using words to form arguments in order to convince the other person to do what they want. So again, why is this particular form of manipulation not considered acceptable? Is it because you consider it a lie, that is, you don’t think you would really feel betrayed or abandoned if your significant other decided not to sign up with you? (In that case would it be ok if you did think you would feel betrayed/abandoned?) Or is it something else?
It is a good question. The distinctive feature of this class of influence is the overt use of guilt and shame, combined with the projection of the speaker’s alleged emotional state onto the actual physical actions of the recipient. It is a symptom relationship dynamic that many people consider immature and unhealthy.
I’m tempted to keep asking why (ideally in terms of game theory and/or evolutionary psychology) but I’m afraid of coming across as obnoxious at this point. So let me just ask, do you think there is a better way of making the point, that from the perspective of the cryonicist, he’s not abandoning his SO, but rather it’s the other way around? Or do you think that its not worth bring up at all?