It’s seems to also be a signal of disloyalty/lower commitment to say, “No honey, I won’t throw myself on your funeral pyre after you die.” Why don’t we similarly demand “Yes, I could keep on living, but I think life would be meaningless without you by my side, so I won’t bother” in that case?
You have to differentiate between what an individual thinks/does/decides, and what society as a whole thinks/does/decides.
For example, in a society that generally accepted that it was the “done thing” for a person to die on the funeral pyre of their partner, saying that you wanted to make a deal to buck the trend would certainly be seen as selfish.
Most individuals see the world in terms of options that are socially allowable, and signals are considered relative to what is socially allowable.
It’s seems to also be a signal of disloyalty/lower commitment to say, “No honey, I won’t throw myself on your funeral pyre after you die.” Why don’t we similarly demand “Yes, I could keep on living, but I think life would be meaningless without you by my side, so I won’t bother” in that case?
You have to differentiate between what an individual thinks/does/decides, and what society as a whole thinks/does/decides.
For example, in a society that generally accepted that it was the “done thing” for a person to die on the funeral pyre of their partner, saying that you wanted to make a deal to buck the trend would certainly be seen as selfish.
Most individuals see the world in terms of options that are socially allowable, and signals are considered relative to what is socially allowable.