Aha, but if I signed up, I’d have to non-conform, darling. Think of what all the other girls at the office would say about me! It would be worse than death!
In the case of refusing cryonics, I doubt that fear of social judgment is the largest factor or even close. It’s relatively easy to avoid judgment without incurring terrible costs—many people signed up for cryonics have simply never mentioned it to the girls and boys in the office. I’m willing to bet that most people, even if you promised that their decision to choose cryonics would be entirely private, would hardly waver in their refusal.
For what it’s worth Steven Kaas emphasized social weirdness as a decent argument against signing up. I’m not sure what his reasoning was, but given that he’s Steven Kaas I’m going to update on expected evidence (that there is a significant social cost so signing up that I cannot at the moment see).
The NYT article points out that you sometimes want other people to know—your wife’s cooperation at the hospital deathbed will make it much easier for the Alcor people to wisk you away.
It’s not an argument against signing up, unless the expected utility of the decision is borderline positive and it’s specifically the increased probability of failure because of lack of additional assistance of your family that tilts the balance to the negative.
Given that there are examples of children or spouses actively preventing (and succeeding) cryopreservation, that means there’s an additional few % chance of complete failure. Given the low chance to begin with (I think another commenter says noone expects cryonics to succeed with more than 1⁄4 probability?), that damages the expected utility badly.
An additional failure mode with a few % chance of happening damages the expected utility by a few %. Unless you have some reason to think that this cause of failure is anticorrelated with other causes of failure?
If I initially estimate that cyronics in aggregate has a 10% chance of succeeding, and I then estimate that my spouse/children have a 5% chance of preventing my cryopreservation, does my expected utility decline by only 5%?
Maybe the husband/son should preemptively play the “if you don’t sign up with me, you’re betraying me” card?
If my spouse played that card too hard I’d sign up to cryonics then I’d dump them. (“Too hard” would probably mean more than one issue and persisting against clearly expressed boundaries.) Apart from the manipulative aspect it is just, well, stupid. At least manipulate me with “you will be abandoning me!” you silly man/woman/intelligent agent of choice.
Maybe the husband/son should preemptively play the “if you don’t sign up with me, you’re betraying me” card?
Voted up as an interesting suggestion. That said, I think that if anyone feels a need to be playing that card in a preemptive fashion then a relationship is probably not very functional to start with. Moreover, given that signing up is a change from the status quo I suspect that attempting to play that card would go over poorly in general.
That said, I think that if anyone feels a need to be playing that card in a preemptive fashion then a relationship is probably not very functional to start with.
Can you expand on that? I’m not sure why this particular card is any worse than what people in functional relationships typically do.
Moreover, given that signing up is a change from the status quo I suspect that attempting to play that card would go over poorly in general.
Right, so sign up before entering the relationship, then play that card. :)
I would say that if you aren’t yet married, be prepared to dump them if they won’t sign up with you. Because if they won’t, that is a strong signal to you that they are not a good spouse. These kinds of signals are important to pay attention to in the courtship process.
After marriage, you are hooked regardless of what decision they make on their own suspension arrangements, because it’s their own life. You’ve entered the contract, and the fact they want to do something stupid does not change that. But you should consider dumping them if they refuse to help with the process (at least in simple matters like calling Alcor), as that actually crosses the line into betrayal (however passive) and could get you killed.
Can you expand on that? I’m not sure why this particular card is any worse than what people in functional relationships typically do.
We may have different definitions of “functional relationship.” I’d put very high on the list of elements of a functional relationship that people don’t go out of there way to consciously manipulate each other over substantial life decisions.
Um, it’s a matter of life or death, so of course I’m going to “go out of my way”.
As for “consciously manipulate”, it seems to me that people in all relationships consciously manipulate each other all the time, in the sense of using words to form arguments in order to convince the other person to do what they want. So again, why is this particular form of manipulation not considered acceptable? Is it because you consider it a lie, that is, you don’t think you would really feel betrayed or abandoned if your significant other decided not to sign up with you? (In that case would it be ok if you did think you would feel betrayed/abandoned?) Or is it something else?
So again, why is this particular form of manipulation not considered acceptable?
It is a good question. The distinctive feature of this class of influence is the overt use of guilt and shame, combined with the projection of the speaker’s alleged emotional state onto the actual physical actions of the recipient. It is a symptom relationship dynamic that many people consider immature and unhealthy.
It is a symptom relationship dynamic that many people consider immature and unhealthy.
I’m tempted to keep asking why (ideally in terms of game theory and/or evolutionary psychology) but I’m afraid of coming across as obnoxious at this point. So let me just ask, do you think there is a better way of making the point, that from the perspective of the cryonicist, he’s not abandoning his SO, but rather it’s the other way around? Or do you think that its not worth bring up at all?
Maybe the husband/son should preemptively play the “if you don’t sign up with me, you’re betraying me” card?
Aha, but if I signed up, I’d have to non-conform, darling. Think of what all the other girls at the office would say about me! It would be worse than death!
In the case of refusing cryonics, I doubt that fear of social judgment is the largest factor or even close. It’s relatively easy to avoid judgment without incurring terrible costs—many people signed up for cryonics have simply never mentioned it to the girls and boys in the office. I’m willing to bet that most people, even if you promised that their decision to choose cryonics would be entirely private, would hardly waver in their refusal.
For what it’s worth Steven Kaas emphasized social weirdness as a decent argument against signing up. I’m not sure what his reasoning was, but given that he’s Steven Kaas I’m going to update on expected evidence (that there is a significant social cost so signing up that I cannot at the moment see).
I don’t get why social weirdness is an issue. Can’t you just not tell anyone that you’ve signed up?
The NYT article points out that you sometimes want other people to know—your wife’s cooperation at the hospital deathbed will make it much easier for the Alcor people to wisk you away.
It’s not an argument against signing up, unless the expected utility of the decision is borderline positive and it’s specifically the increased probability of failure because of lack of additional assistance of your family that tilts the balance to the negative.
Given that there are examples of children or spouses actively preventing (and succeeding) cryopreservation, that means there’s an additional few % chance of complete failure. Given the low chance to begin with (I think another commenter says noone expects cryonics to succeed with more than 1⁄4 probability?), that damages the expected utility badly.
An additional failure mode with a few % chance of happening damages the expected utility by a few %. Unless you have some reason to think that this cause of failure is anticorrelated with other causes of failure?
If I initially estimate that cyronics in aggregate has a 10% chance of succeeding, and I then estimate that my spouse/children have a 5% chance of preventing my cryopreservation, does my expected utility decline by only 5%?
Are you still involved in Remember 11?
If my spouse played that card too hard I’d sign up to cryonics then I’d dump them. (“Too hard” would probably mean more than one issue and persisting against clearly expressed boundaries.) Apart from the manipulative aspect it is just, well, stupid. At least manipulate me with “you will be abandoning me!” you silly man/woman/intelligent agent of choice.
Voted up as an interesting suggestion. That said, I think that if anyone feels a need to be playing that card in a preemptive fashion then a relationship is probably not very functional to start with. Moreover, given that signing up is a change from the status quo I suspect that attempting to play that card would go over poorly in general.
Can you expand on that? I’m not sure why this particular card is any worse than what people in functional relationships typically do.
Right, so sign up before entering the relationship, then play that card. :)
I would say that if you aren’t yet married, be prepared to dump them if they won’t sign up with you. Because if they won’t, that is a strong signal to you that they are not a good spouse. These kinds of signals are important to pay attention to in the courtship process.
After marriage, you are hooked regardless of what decision they make on their own suspension arrangements, because it’s their own life. You’ve entered the contract, and the fact they want to do something stupid does not change that. But you should consider dumping them if they refuse to help with the process (at least in simple matters like calling Alcor), as that actually crosses the line into betrayal (however passive) and could get you killed.
We may have different definitions of “functional relationship.” I’d put very high on the list of elements of a functional relationship that people don’t go out of there way to consciously manipulate each other over substantial life decisions.
Um, it’s a matter of life or death, so of course I’m going to “go out of my way”.
As for “consciously manipulate”, it seems to me that people in all relationships consciously manipulate each other all the time, in the sense of using words to form arguments in order to convince the other person to do what they want. So again, why is this particular form of manipulation not considered acceptable? Is it because you consider it a lie, that is, you don’t think you would really feel betrayed or abandoned if your significant other decided not to sign up with you? (In that case would it be ok if you did think you would feel betrayed/abandoned?) Or is it something else?
It is a good question. The distinctive feature of this class of influence is the overt use of guilt and shame, combined with the projection of the speaker’s alleged emotional state onto the actual physical actions of the recipient. It is a symptom relationship dynamic that many people consider immature and unhealthy.
I’m tempted to keep asking why (ideally in terms of game theory and/or evolutionary psychology) but I’m afraid of coming across as obnoxious at this point. So let me just ask, do you think there is a better way of making the point, that from the perspective of the cryonicist, he’s not abandoning his SO, but rather it’s the other way around? Or do you think that its not worth bring up at all?