newguy

Karma: 16

newguy 23 May 2013 7:23 UTC
2 points
in reply to: MixedNuts’s comment on: Open Thread, April 15-30, 2013
This worked out (n = 3). I explicitly say that it is unlikely intercourse will happen (to them and myself), and when it does it just feels natural, no bright line. Thank you, this was a big problem!

newguy 17 Apr 2013 19:05 UTC
2 points
in reply to: MixedNuts’s comment on: Open Thread, April 15-30, 2013
3 meetings, wouldn’t call them dates.

I understand that, but it somehow makes me feel bad to have them there and ready and that I’m the one that actually also wants to but somehow/for some reason can’t.

Just first-time sex as in intercourse. Well, in my mind sex = intercourse [as in penis in vagina], everything else is “fooling around”. [Not debating definitions, just saying how it feels to me].

I don’t know I need to test it, but that might be useful to try, to try to think of sex as being something else.

newguy 17 Apr 2013 18:24 UTC
0 points
in reply to: MixedNuts’s comment on: Open Thread, April 15-30, 2013
Maybe because there is always a clear line? I go from meeting to kissing quite fast, and from kissing to being in my bedroom also quite fast, so there is no small progression, it’s meeting, kissing, then we end up at a sex-appropriate place and I go trough it, but I’m incredibly anxious.

newguy 16 Apr 2013 21:08 UTC
2 points
in reply to: NancyLebovitz’s comment on: Open Thread, April 15-30, 2013
will do and report back.

No, I never did try that, I feel it will be only very catastrophic thoughts; I will try to track it when the opportunity arises and update.

newguy 16 Apr 2013 7:25 UTC
2 points
in reply to: falenas108’s comment on: Open Thread, April 15-30, 2013
Very much so yes. Potential big confounder: never been around so many beautiful & nice females (I’m a straight male).

But my moodflow varies between long lasting moods of feeling slightly good and slightly bad and for the days I’ve been here I get consistent “great” ratings—I feel awesome all the time.

newguy 16 Apr 2013 7:23 UTC
0 points
in reply to: drethelin’s comment on: Open Thread, April 15-30, 2013
how would I go about testing this?

newguy 16 Apr 2013 7:23 UTC
1 point
in reply to: TheOtherDave’s comment on: Open Thread, April 15-30, 2013
re: sex Not at the moment, but in some 2 months that roleplaying stuff would be possible yes. I tried looking for some affect hacking on the website but didn’t find much practical advice unfortunately.

wrt to sex workers, no great moral objection, besides and initial emotional ugh, but I’m unsure on how helpful it could be.

re: lifestyle this is somewhat what I had in mind, thank you.

newguy 16 Apr 2013 4:24 UTC
7 points
on: Open Thread, April 15-30, 2013
Sex. I have a problem with it and would like to solve it. I get seriously anxious every time I’m about to have sex for the first time with a new partner. Further times are great and awesome. But the first time leaves me very anxious; which makes me delay it as much as I can. This is not optimal. I don’t know how to fix it, if anyone can help I’d be greatly grateful

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I notice I’m confused: I always tried to keep a healthy life: sleeping many hours, no alcohol, no smoke. I’ve just been living 5 days in a different country with some friends. We sleep 7 hours at most, they are smoking all the time, I’ve drank once. We hardly eat: My face looks better, I feel better, I just look healthier. Also feel like that. Possible confounds: I live mostly alone, now I’m also hanging out with at least 3 people, usually closer to 10. I’m going out and dancing at least 4 hours every night. I’m talking to new people every night. I don’t know how I’d go about to test what caused this, but I’d like to know and keep that factor in my life. Any ideas?