This person (segfault) is a liar. In particular, he is lying about caring about consent. He claims to, and gives a lot of lip service to the idea, but in fact he directly violates consent all the time, including explicit safewords. Immediately after the exchange below, he went and visited the other person anyway, and has been harassing her ever since, up to and including making wild accusations against her coach and getting himself banned from Stanford campus.
No, but these things are:
“Thank you, Duncan. I honestly think you’ve changed my life.”
“Miss you. Virtually.” (after being blocked)
“You’re one of the best people I know.” (contrast with the present-day “we don’t know each other at all, wtf”)
~”I’d gladly send you $200 if it meant you could get a babysitter and come to my drug/sex/music party.”
And this:
(There are plenty more examples.)
It doesn’t quite work to “remind” people of a thing that isn’t true.
What he is being accused of are, basically, his literal actions, on-the-record. One might object to summaries like “manic” and “crazy” if they seem inappropriate, but in this case they are clearly appropriate and given all of the evidence, the burden of demonstration is on “here’s why this massive pile of obsession and harassment shouldn’t be considered crazy.”
(Or “here’s why these hundreds of fevered and pressured messages that often contain paranoia and catastrophizing and grandiosity, including mentions of e.g. working 17 hours a day, 7 days a week and routinely sleeping less than six hours a night, shouldn’t be considered mania, when that’s almost literally the diagnostic criteria for mania.”)
You’re acting as if Caleb deserves normal baseline kindness and charity, but he burned his way through that months ago, and burned through the extra above-and-beyond kindness and charity of several additional people in recent weeks. Nobody’s setting out to be mean, but there’s also no reason to bend over backwards to be nice (and the absence of bending over backwards isn’t rude or bad or in any way decriable).
This whole comment section is Caleb reaping what nobody forced him to sow.
(“I’ve been wearing my ‘I fucking love science!’ shirt since early college” doesn’t make one a scientist.)
(Disambiguation: not the originally linked tweet thread, but the inciting incident that caused the originally linked tweet thread to be written.)
Standard M.O. from segfault is to simply never address this inconvenient bit of reality. I would be slightly surprised if he replies at all, as opposed to ignoring this subthread now that you’ve posted the screenshot.
Are you seriously pretending that you don’t know how to look at a tweet in an incognito window? You seem to have been expertly doing so in, uh, “other cases”.
targetting me for ages
Okay. Then given all those years of participation, you should have little trouble naming a couple of known-and-acknowledged rationalists or EAs who know you and will say “yeah, this guy is one of us.”
You have not shown a single claim in the warning doc to be false. Your “defense” is Trumpian, basically—just keep loudly declaring “fake news” and hope that nobody notices you provide zero evidence in service of your claims while there is a preponderance of evidence on the other side.
As I do with most people that I might want to be friends with, because I care about my own safety and that of the people I have over.
… and then you falsely accuse them in public of things which they are completely innocent of, and refuse to retract or apologize.
(And before you DARVO, the difference between that and what’s happening to you here is that here, the evidence shows you to be undeniably in the wrong.)
You are not a part of this community.
Related: Reneging Prosocially
(This is Duncan Sabien, logging in with the old Conor Moreton account b/c this feels important.)
While I think Linda’s experience is valid, and probably more representative than mine, I want to balance it by pointing out that I deeply, deeply, deeply regret taking a(n explicit, unambiguous, crystal clear) verbal agreement, and not having a signed contract, with an org pretty central to the EA and rationality communities. As a result of having the-kind-of-trust that Linda describes above, I got overtly fucked over to the tune of many thousands of dollars and many months of misery and confusion and alienation, and all of that would’ve been prevented by a simple written paragraph with two signatures at the bottom.
(Such a paragraph would’ve either prevented the agreement from being violated in the first place, or would at least have made the straightforward violation that occurred less of a thing that people could subsequently spin webs of fog and narrativemancy around, to my detriment.)
As for the bit about telling your friends and ruining the reputation of the wrongdoer … this option was largely NOT available to me, for fear-of-reprisal reasons as well as not wanting to fuck up the subsequent situation I found myself in, which was better, but fragile. To this day, I still do not feel like it’s safe to just be fully open and candid about the way I was treated, and how many norms of good conduct and fair dealings were broken in the process. The situation was eventually resolved to my satisfaction, but there were years of suffering in between.
If @Rob Bensinger does in fact cross-post Linda’s comment, I request he cross-posts this, too.
(I will probably not engage with responses because I’m still trying to avoid being here; dropping a comment feels less risky on that front than having a back-and-forth exchange.)
Loren ipsum
Loren ipsum
(Plenty) more detail available here.