I think Duncan’s post touches on something this post misses with its talk of “social API”: apologies only work when they’re a costly signal.
The people you deliver the apology to need to feel it cost you something to make that apology, either pride or effort or something valuable; or at least that you’re offering to give up something costly to earn forgiveness.
Related: Reneging Prosocially
I think Duncan’s post touches on something this post misses with its talk of “social API”: apologies only work when they’re a costly signal.
The people you deliver the apology to need to feel it cost you something to make that apology, either pride or effort or something valuable; or at least that you’re offering to give up something costly to earn forgiveness.