This is very related to Radical Honesty, part of the authentic relating movement. The basic idea is that by being extremely honest, you connect more with other people, let go of stress induced by keeping track of narratives, and start realizing the ways in which you’ve been bullshitting yourself.
When I started, I discovered a lot of ways in which I’d been restricting myself with semi-conscious narratives, particularly in social & sexual areas of life. Expressing the “ugh” allowed me to dissolve it more effectively.
Radica Honesty takes what I called the “gordian” approach to the knot, by directly trying to communicate what’s up for you. I think this is often a pretty good approach, because (out of an abundance of caution) we tend to over-estimate how bad it will be to say things out loud (eg, admitting that we have any other priorities in life than our partner, or admitting that we don’t like something our partner is doing, etc—often the partner already knows!).
However, I also find that tools like delaying can be very useful (which I guess is against the spirit of Radical Honesty). It might be awkward or rude or otherwise problematic to bring up something in the moment, but this doesn’t have to mean that it won’t be a conversation at all.
This is very related to Radical Honesty, part of the authentic relating movement. The basic idea is that by being extremely honest, you connect more with other people, let go of stress induced by keeping track of narratives, and start realizing the ways in which you’ve been bullshitting yourself.
When I started, I discovered a lot of ways in which I’d been restricting myself with semi-conscious narratives, particularly in social & sexual areas of life. Expressing the “ugh” allowed me to dissolve it more effectively.
Radica Honesty takes what I called the “gordian” approach to the knot, by directly trying to communicate what’s up for you. I think this is often a pretty good approach, because (out of an abundance of caution) we tend to over-estimate how bad it will be to say things out loud (eg, admitting that we have any other priorities in life than our partner, or admitting that we don’t like something our partner is doing, etc—often the partner already knows!).
However, I also find that tools like delaying can be very useful (which I guess is against the spirit of Radical Honesty). It might be awkward or rude or otherwise problematic to bring up something in the moment, but this doesn’t have to mean that it won’t be a conversation at all.