(nods) I’m familiar with this state of mind. I spent rather a lot of time in it while recovering from my stroke.
It’s pretty awful. I’m sorry you’re experiencing it.
I doubt that killing yourself would improve matters by any metric worth discussing.
My own experience was that the fastest way out of it was to do something for someone else. What the thing was didn’t matter too much, as long as it represented a significant effort for me (some days, that included simply getting out of bed and checking the mail) and interacted in some way with someone other than me (e.g., my partner).
Are you receiving any professional assistance with any of this?
Are you receiving any professional assistance with any of this?
Every therapist I’ve gone to has done little more than waste my time. (They’ve been helpful for my mom, but not so much for me; the only thing any mental health professional has done that has helped me directly has been to prescribe medication.)
(nods) You might find it worthwhile to try and state somewhat precisely what it is about those experiences that made them worthless. Insofar as it is actions or inactions on their part, it may help you look for useful assistance in a more targeted way. Insofar as it is actions or inactions on your part, it may help you identify habits that aren’t getting you what you want. (Or, if you prefer: strategies that earn you suboptimal scores in this fully immersive multiplayer game we’re all playing.)
My own experience was that the fastest way out of it was to do something for someone else.
Eep. I have trouble with this. I don’t like it when other people rely on me to do things for them, because I frequently end up failing to do them (because I oversleep, or can’t pry myself away from the computer, or whatever). I can barely do things for myself, at times. And “doing things for someone else” also brings up memories of being yelled at by my parents to go do something not very pleasant while I’m in the middle of doing something on the computer...
Well, perhaps you’ll find a road out that works better for you. I certainly don’t claim to have any general solution to the problem of depression, merely techniques that worked for me when I needed them.
That said, there is a broad gap between doing something for someone and having them rely on you to do it. Doing someone a favor is not the same thing as becoming their employee, for example.
And there is a similarly broad gap between choosing to do something and being forced to do it. If your experiences with performing services for people are primarily the latter, you might be surprised by how different the former feels.
(nods) I’m familiar with this state of mind. I spent rather a lot of time in it while recovering from my stroke.
It’s pretty awful. I’m sorry you’re experiencing it.
I doubt that killing yourself would improve matters by any metric worth discussing.
My own experience was that the fastest way out of it was to do something for someone else. What the thing was didn’t matter too much, as long as it represented a significant effort for me (some days, that included simply getting out of bed and checking the mail) and interacted in some way with someone other than me (e.g., my partner).
Are you receiving any professional assistance with any of this?
Every therapist I’ve gone to has done little more than waste my time. (They’ve been helpful for my mom, but not so much for me; the only thing any mental health professional has done that has helped me directly has been to prescribe medication.)
(nods) You might find it worthwhile to try and state somewhat precisely what it is about those experiences that made them worthless. Insofar as it is actions or inactions on their part, it may help you look for useful assistance in a more targeted way. Insofar as it is actions or inactions on your part, it may help you identify habits that aren’t getting you what you want. (Or, if you prefer: strategies that earn you suboptimal scores in this fully immersive multiplayer game we’re all playing.)
Eep. I have trouble with this. I don’t like it when other people rely on me to do things for them, because I frequently end up failing to do them (because I oversleep, or can’t pry myself away from the computer, or whatever). I can barely do things for myself, at times. And “doing things for someone else” also brings up memories of being yelled at by my parents to go do something not very pleasant while I’m in the middle of doing something on the computer...
Well, perhaps you’ll find a road out that works better for you. I certainly don’t claim to have any general solution to the problem of depression, merely techniques that worked for me when I needed them.
That said, there is a broad gap between doing something for someone and having them rely on you to do it. Doing someone a favor is not the same thing as becoming their employee, for example.
And there is a similarly broad gap between choosing to do something and being forced to do it. If your experiences with performing services for people are primarily the latter, you might be surprised by how different the former feels.