I always try, via nonverbal communication, to show a ‘reason’ why I’m looking away. If I’m drinking something, I’ll let this be the moment that I look briefly at the glass in my hand in order to guide it to my lips. Or I’ll make an ‘I’m thinking about what you just said/what I want to say’ face and point my eyeballs up and to the right for a moment before regaining eye contact. Or I’ll make an ‘I’m thinking about what you just said/what I want to say’ face and stare at some random thing in the background (preferably a blank spot of wall or cupboard or ceiling, so it’s not distracting), roughly at a 10-30 degree angle away from their eyes. Or I’ll briefly look into somebody else’s eyes in order to read their reaction to what is going on.
It’s pretty common among SIAI-ish people to make super-exaggerated expressions/postures when thinking, which is a pretty good excuse to break eye contact for a bit. I’m not sure if the exaggeratedness is just another meme (like how people tend to answer questions with “So...… (insert exposition and then answer)” ever since Steve and Mike Blume did it a lot) or if it somehow helps people think. Steve used to do some mudra-like thing and looked like he was charging up to fire a telekinetic energy projectile but sadly he hasn’t done it in ages (these days he furrows his brow and sometimes puts his head in his hands, I think). Justin would say “checking, checking...” when evaluating a claim, which made me happy since often it’d be followed with a “huh” of insight/updating. I normally bury my head in my hands or rest my chin on my hand/thumb and my pointer finger on my lips. Jasen’s thinking movements are more traditional and less exaggerated but still moreso than non-SIAI folk I think.
On a similar note, there are steps to take when talking to multiple people at once. I have been told that I’m naturally inclusive in conversations, so that friends who have little-to-nothing to contribute still don’t feel like I’m ignoring them. It might be important to mention this more explicitly in the how-to.
Also, how far do you look away?
I always try, via nonverbal communication, to show a ‘reason’ why I’m looking away. If I’m drinking something, I’ll let this be the moment that I look briefly at the glass in my hand in order to guide it to my lips. Or I’ll make an ‘I’m thinking about what you just said/what I want to say’ face and point my eyeballs up and to the right for a moment before regaining eye contact. Or I’ll make an ‘I’m thinking about what you just said/what I want to say’ face and stare at some random thing in the background (preferably a blank spot of wall or cupboard or ceiling, so it’s not distracting), roughly at a 10-30 degree angle away from their eyes. Or I’ll briefly look into somebody else’s eyes in order to read their reaction to what is going on.
It’s pretty common among SIAI-ish people to make super-exaggerated expressions/postures when thinking, which is a pretty good excuse to break eye contact for a bit. I’m not sure if the exaggeratedness is just another meme (like how people tend to answer questions with “So...… (insert exposition and then answer)” ever since Steve and Mike Blume did it a lot) or if it somehow helps people think. Steve used to do some mudra-like thing and looked like he was charging up to fire a telekinetic energy projectile but sadly he hasn’t done it in ages (these days he furrows his brow and sometimes puts his head in his hands, I think). Justin would say “checking, checking...” when evaluating a claim, which made me happy since often it’d be followed with a “huh” of insight/updating. I normally bury my head in my hands or rest my chin on my hand/thumb and my pointer finger on my lips. Jasen’s thinking movements are more traditional and less exaggerated but still moreso than non-SIAI folk I think.
On a similar note, there are steps to take when talking to multiple people at once. I have been told that I’m naturally inclusive in conversations, so that friends who have little-to-nothing to contribute still don’t feel like I’m ignoring them. It might be important to mention this more explicitly in the how-to.