When I am in such a state, the feelings of the other towards me are fairly irrelevant to my feelings towards her.
I think people learn to regulate themselves when they realize how self-defeating this is. I know I did. The key to self-regulation is stopping the process in it’s infancy. This applies to other feelings too.
I was thinking about removing the comment because it wasn’t clear to me what you were referring to. I think having strong feelings for other people while ignoring how they feel about you is generally a waste of resources.
I think people learn to regulate themselves when they realize how self-defeating this is. I know I did. The key to self-regulation is stopping the process in it’s infancy. This applies to other feelings too.
What is “this”?
I was thinking about removing the comment because it wasn’t clear to me what you were referring to. I think having strong feelings for other people while ignoring how they feel about you is generally a waste of resources.
In what sense is it a waste of resources? What value are you optimizing for, that you are being wasteful?
I value the love (romantic or otherwise) of another for its own sake.