This is a joke taken too far, especially given that I am thoroughly educated in only a minority of these subjects.
Maths
Calculus is about change. Statistics is about variation. Linear Algebra is about vectors. Multivariable Calculus is about the chain rule. Differential Equations is about initial conditions. Topology is about boundaries. Complex Analysis is about local isotropy.
Hard sciences
Classical Physics is about energy. Quantum Physics is about amplitudes. Astronomy is about gravity. Inorganic Chemistry is about charge. Organic Chemistry is about groups. Botany is about seeds. Zoology is about predation. Neuroscience is about stimuli.
Social sciences
Economics is about demand. Linguistics is about compression. Psychology is about habits. Law is about incentives.
Miscellaneous
Finance is about arbitrage. Marketing is about preferences. Agriculture is about growth. Computer Science is about precision. Journalism is about description.
Got to the end before I misread “Journalism is about deception” Otherwise v good!