This is order of magnitude more readable than the previous chapter, I applaude this.
I have to second though a critique by Tenoke: when Harry says “What, am I a book now?” it feels inconsistent, because he already had guessed that he was in a book. Characters that know they are in a book are ok (think Sophie by Gaarder), characters that have amnesia every paragraph are not.
“Am I a book” is different from “am I in a book”. My reading was that Harry Potter Newsome hasn’t heard of the book series called “Harry Potter”, to him that’s just his name. He is confused about what “read way too much Harry Potter” is supposed to mean.
Right, this was the intended meaning. Being a character in a book is one thing, but talking to another character who suggests that you’re the titular protagonist of a supposedly well-known book is another. I was also trying to suggest that the owl is in some sense from a different world. But I guess that was all unclear and I need to rewrite it.
This is order of magnitude more readable than the previous chapter, I applaude this.
I have to second though a critique by Tenoke: when Harry says “What, am I a book now?” it feels inconsistent, because he already had guessed that he was in a book. Characters that know they are in a book are ok (think Sophie by Gaarder), characters that have amnesia every paragraph are not.
But I am curious to read some more.
“Am I a book” is different from “am I in a book”. My reading was that Harry Potter Newsome hasn’t heard of the book series called “Harry Potter”, to him that’s just his name. He is confused about what “read way too much Harry Potter” is supposed to mean.
Right, this was the intended meaning. Being a character in a book is one thing, but talking to another character who suggests that you’re the titular protagonist of a supposedly well-known book is another. I was also trying to suggest that the owl is in some sense from a different world. But I guess that was all unclear and I need to rewrite it.