Nearly anyone not living hermits life experiences situations like these but we are incredibly selective about which ones get our attention. I say how much attention they get is based not on actual subjective suffering but on the most viable political coalitions.
I quite agree, and considered posting along these lines myself. Perhaps you were right to be oblique; I’d have been a lot more explicit.
In fact, I will. A large part of this isn’t just about forming viable political coalitions—which is perhaps benign—it’s about suppressing alternate coalitions. It’s about making it impossible for people with a different understanding of the world to co-ordinate. For example, the reason that men catcall women is, or should be, well known to everyone (see e.g. Berne)) but the discussion below consists of a strenuous wish to avoid the obvious explanation. And of course anyone who gives it will be the designated patsy and thereby validate the feelings of moral superiority the coalition has been endowing itself with.
It’s also about a wish to avoid responsibility, but that’s a post in its own right.
The solution, of course, is to form a higher status coalition against it. For instance:
“As an Arab and a Muslim, I feel the concept of feminism is an Orientalist dog-whistle. You only need to look down this thread to see the real targets are always the Otherized women wearing burkas—whose perspective is totally missing. The venom is just barely below the surface—a discussion of a boy asking a girl out quickly becomes a ritual condemnation of Afghan customs. Analysing a father’s advice quickly leads to back-slapping about how much Saudi Arabia “stinks”. Anyone who calls themselves a feminist is perpetuating white privilege and racism.”
Actually, that depends on what you mean by ‘known’.
Everyone knows that most men like looking at naked women, and many who don’t feel the attraction themselves can more or less understand it by extrapolation.
However, I don’t think much if anything is known about physiological basis (eyes to brain) for men liking to look at naked women.
I made quite a few substantive points about the discussion in that comment. Why don’t we talk about those? Unfortunately almost all the replies has been about this side-issue, which I have already stated I am not going to discuss.
For example, the reason that men catcall women is, or should be, well known to everyone (see e.g. Berne))
I realize that I’m being lazy, but is there a way you can summarize this reason ? I have not read the book, and I fear I may not have the time to do so.
Humans, in any situation, invent something to do, simply because “doing nothing” is not an option. A stupid social interaction is usually preferable to no social interaction. On the other hand, an intimate interaction increases the risk of being hurt, so with strangers people prefer rituals. Ritual provides some small social interaction at almost zero risk.
If I understand it correctly, Salemicus suggests that catcalling is simply a ritual. It is more than nothing. It is less than a personalized message. It is what other people (of the same social group) in the same situation would do.
Why exactly this ritual instead of something else? Dunno. Tradition. You usually don’t invent rituals, you inherit them from your ancestors. Somewhere in the past, there was some reason. Maybe a good reason, maybe a random incident. Doesn’t matter today. This is the ritual we have. This is what we do when we want to do something, but not something personal.
And of course anyone who gives [the reason] will be the designated patsy and thereby validate the feelings of moral superiority the coalition has been endowing itself with.
is there a way you can summarize this reason?
As I already stated in the original post—no!
Besides, you don’t need to read the book to know the reason. It’s the obvious reason. I simply referred to that book because it explains the entire social dynamic around it.
Your comments on this thread seem to be evidence that there is no such “obvious” reason, and that you are in fact pretending that such an “obvious” reason exists, as some sort of status play, or perhaps for didactic reasons. Do you agree that this is the reasonable conclusion that readers of this thread should reach? If not, why not?
Honestly, I’m curious too—I can think of several candidate reasons, but nothing blindingly obvious.
If you’re concerned about looking like a patsy, or about possible retributive behavior from being un-PC or perhaps excessively PC, there’s nothing stopping you from spinning up a throwaway account and using that. I’d say sockpuppetry is acceptable in that case.
It’s not even obvious to me that only one of several reasons is right (i.e., I suspect there are several different reasons each of which explain a sizeable fraction, but not the near-totality, of cases of catcalling).
For example, the reason that men catcall women is, or should be, well known to everyone (see e.g. Berne)) but the discussion below consists of a strenuous wish to avoid the obvious explanation.
One of the key third-wave critiques is that second-wave feminism was only ever really about middle-class white women. Obviously, an actual third-wave feminist wouldn’t have concluded that feminism is about white privilege; they’d have said we need to change the direction of feminism to make it more inclusive of “diverse perspectives” or some such.
I was joking when I implied they were trolling feminism, but if a group of saboteurs had gone undercover to make the movement irrelevant, I don’t think they could have done any better.
Regarding my own comment, I was not condemning afghan customs in the context of their treatment of women, but in their treatment of thievery and other such crimes (I was specifically thinking of the process of escalating blood feuds that often result from that process).
It’s too long since I read the book to recall all of the Games in detail, and the list on the book’s home page (linked from the Wiki article) doesn’t seem to have this game, but no matter: Berne did not claim to be presenting an exhaustive taxonomy and encouraged his readers to discover more Games.
I recommend the book. I think it’s essential reading for anyone confused (as so many LWers profess to be, and there’s a Game right there) about aspects of social life that are not usually explicitly described. (The reasons why people don’t talk about them form yet more Games.) Its importance is not merely the individual Games, but the idea of what a Game is and why people Play them. Once you have this, what is going on with catcalling will be transparent.
The theoretical background of the book, Transactional Analysis, you can take or leave; it gives Berne a conceptual vocabulary to talk about Games, but one need not make any ontological commitment to TA, to make use of the book.
I bought & read a copy of Games People Play some years ago. (But thanks for the recommendation.) Although I’ve read the book, “the” reason why men catcall remains opaque to me. I can think of multiple reasons, and multiple ways to describe catcalling as a Game, so merely pointing at the book tells me nothing new.
By the principle of charity, I figured Salemicus had something more usefully specific in mind. So I looked at the table of contents, guessed at some Games they might have been thinking of, and put them out there as a starting point. I wasn’t about to reread the whole book just to try making Salemicus’s comment click.
“Its importance is not merely the individual Games, but the idea of what a Game is and why people Play them.”
From Berne: “Because there is so little opportunity for intimacy in daily life, and because some forms of intimacy (especially if intense) are psychologically impossible for most people, the bulk of the time in serious social life is taken up with playing games. Hence games are both necessary and desirable, and the only problem at issue is whether the games played by an individual offer the best yield for him.”
So, you can debate the validity, but my take on the Berne-ian view would be that the game Catcall is the attempt to create a social boost for males by gaining a female’s (albeit negative) attention.
I quite agree, and considered posting along these lines myself. Perhaps you were right to be oblique; I’d have been a lot more explicit.
In fact, I will. A large part of this isn’t just about forming viable political coalitions—which is perhaps benign—it’s about suppressing alternate coalitions. It’s about making it impossible for people with a different understanding of the world to co-ordinate. For example, the reason that men catcall women is, or should be, well known to everyone (see e.g. Berne)) but the discussion below consists of a strenuous wish to avoid the obvious explanation. And of course anyone who gives it will be the designated patsy and thereby validate the feelings of moral superiority the coalition has been endowing itself with.
It’s also about a wish to avoid responsibility, but that’s a post in its own right.
The solution, of course, is to form a higher status coalition against it. For instance:
“As an Arab and a Muslim, I feel the concept of feminism is an Orientalist dog-whistle. You only need to look down this thread to see the real targets are always the Otherized women wearing burkas—whose perspective is totally missing. The venom is just barely below the surface—a discussion of a boy asking a girl out quickly becomes a ritual condemnation of Afghan customs. Analysing a father’s advice quickly leads to back-slapping about how much Saudi Arabia “stinks”. Anyone who calls themselves a feminist is perpetuating white privilege and racism.”
Unfortunately, I fear that this troll has already been done.
EDIT: Edited to include links.
Has any other reader figured out yet what this obvious reason is supposed to be? I’m mystified.
I’m mystified, too. Furthermore, I bet there isn’t just one reason.
I suspect that statement was meant to be semantically equivalent to “the reason that men go to strip clubs is, or should be, well known to everyone”.
I’m confused. Are you suggesting that catcalling is a strategy for seeing naked women?
Ok, a better way to phrase that would be “the reason that men like looking at naked women is, or should be, well known to everyone”.
Actually, that depends on what you mean by ‘known’.
Everyone knows that most men like looking at naked women, and many who don’t feel the attraction themselves can more or less understand it by extrapolation.
However, I don’t think much if anything is known about physiological basis (eyes to brain) for men liking to look at naked women.
Agreed. I suspect that Salemicus’s statement was meant to be interpreted in the same way.
I think the point is that feminism tends to assume that it’s for some kind of sinister toxic masculinity sex thing?
I made quite a few substantive points about the discussion in that comment. Why don’t we talk about those? Unfortunately almost all the replies has been about this side-issue, which I have already stated I am not going to discuss.
I realize that I’m being lazy, but is there a way you can summarize this reason ? I have not read the book, and I fear I may not have the time to do so.
Let me guess (I read the book years ago).
Humans, in any situation, invent something to do, simply because “doing nothing” is not an option. A stupid social interaction is usually preferable to no social interaction. On the other hand, an intimate interaction increases the risk of being hurt, so with strangers people prefer rituals. Ritual provides some small social interaction at almost zero risk.
If I understand it correctly, Salemicus suggests that catcalling is simply a ritual. It is more than nothing. It is less than a personalized message. It is what other people (of the same social group) in the same situation would do.
Why exactly this ritual instead of something else? Dunno. Tradition. You usually don’t invent rituals, you inherit them from your ancestors. Somewhere in the past, there was some reason. Maybe a good reason, maybe a random incident. Doesn’t matter today. This is the ritual we have. This is what we do when we want to do something, but not something personal.
As I already stated in the original post—no!
Besides, you don’t need to read the book to know the reason. It’s the obvious reason. I simply referred to that book because it explains the entire social dynamic around it.
It is not “obvious” to me. I am a man, and I’ve never had the desire to catcall; from my perspective, catcalling is something cartoon characters do.
Your comments on this thread seem to be evidence that there is no such “obvious” reason, and that you are in fact pretending that such an “obvious” reason exists, as some sort of status play, or perhaps for didactic reasons. Do you agree that this is the reasonable conclusion that readers of this thread should reach? If not, why not?
It is also possible that he’s operating here under an illusion of transparency.
Honestly, I’m curious too—I can think of several candidate reasons, but nothing blindingly obvious.
If you’re concerned about looking like a patsy, or about possible retributive behavior from being un-PC or perhaps excessively PC, there’s nothing stopping you from spinning up a throwaway account and using that. I’d say sockpuppetry is acceptable in that case.
It’s not even obvious to me that only one of several reasons is right (i.e., I suspect there are several different reasons each of which explain a sizeable fraction, but not the near-totality, of cases of catcalling).
Are you sure you’re not generalizing from one example? Just because it’s obvious to you doesn’t mean it must be obvious to everybody, especially on a website with average AQ in the high twenties. Hanlon’s razor, guys.
Can you explain how what you are implying has anything to do with with Third Wave Feminism? Because I’m not seeing it.
One of the key third-wave critiques is that second-wave feminism was only ever really about middle-class white women. Obviously, an actual third-wave feminist wouldn’t have concluded that feminism is about white privilege; they’d have said we need to change the direction of feminism to make it more inclusive of “diverse perspectives” or some such.
I was joking when I implied they were trolling feminism, but if a group of saboteurs had gone undercover to make the movement irrelevant, I don’t think they could have done any better.
Regarding my own comment, I was not condemning afghan customs in the context of their treatment of women, but in their treatment of thievery and other such crimes (I was specifically thinking of the process of escalating blood feuds that often result from that process).
“If It Weren’t For Him”? “Rapo”? “Now I’ve Got You, You Son of a Bitch”?
None of the above.
It’s too long since I read the book to recall all of the Games in detail, and the list on the book’s home page (linked from the Wiki article) doesn’t seem to have this game, but no matter: Berne did not claim to be presenting an exhaustive taxonomy and encouraged his readers to discover more Games.
I recommend the book. I think it’s essential reading for anyone confused (as so many LWers profess to be, and there’s a Game right there) about aspects of social life that are not usually explicitly described. (The reasons why people don’t talk about them form yet more Games.) Its importance is not merely the individual Games, but the idea of what a Game is and why people Play them. Once you have this, what is going on with catcalling will be transparent.
The theoretical background of the book, Transactional Analysis, you can take or leave; it gives Berne a conceptual vocabulary to talk about Games, but one need not make any ontological commitment to TA, to make use of the book.
Here’s Kurt Vonnegut’s review, from 1965.
I bought & read a copy of Games People Play some years ago. (But thanks for the recommendation.) Although I’ve read the book, “the” reason why men catcall remains opaque to me. I can think of multiple reasons, and multiple ways to describe catcalling as a Game, so merely pointing at the book tells me nothing new.
By the principle of charity, I figured Salemicus had something more usefully specific in mind. So I looked at the table of contents, guessed at some Games they might have been thinking of, and put them out there as a starting point. I wasn’t about to reread the whole book just to try making Salemicus’s comment click.
[Belated edit to fix that dangling modifier.]
“Its importance is not merely the individual Games, but the idea of what a Game is and why people Play them.”
From Berne: “Because there is so little opportunity for intimacy in daily life, and because some forms of intimacy (especially if intense) are psychologically impossible for most people, the bulk of the time in serious social life is taken up with playing games. Hence games are both necessary and desirable, and the only problem at issue is whether the games played by an individual offer the best yield for him.”
So, you can debate the validity, but my take on the Berne-ian view would be that the game Catcall is the attempt to create a social boost for males by gaining a female’s (albeit negative) attention.