Something that feels a bit off about this model to me is… it seems oriented around an iterated game? And the dynamics at play here are relevant in one-off exchanges.
I’m pretty sure (although I can’t think of a clear example offhand) that I’ve met people who, the very first time I ran into them, they were asking for things in a way that felt arrogant, and others who the very first time I met them they seemed to pull off the Winner vibe. (and same for the other two troughs).
Social-web stuff hadn’t had time to kick in yet AFAICT. Some of this can be accounted for by various halo or horns effects (i.e. I’m sure tall, attractive people have an easier time getting parsed as assertive rather than arrogant). But that also feels insufficient.
So my current impression is that a decent chunk of this is better thought of as “there’s a specific cluster of skills you need to perform each level”, and the mechanism for the troughs are “doing a pseudo-random explore of related skills, and getting the nuances wrong, until eventually you have the practice to pull it off.” As opposed to “you need to push through a trough of ‘performing more self-respect that people are willing to credit you.’”
In my experience, “people” are a force in aggregate, far more than individuals. So even if YOU, in particular, “haven’t had time for social-web stuff to kick in”, they’re carrying with them all their aliefs and assumptions from other people, which you yourself pick up on and mirror because preselection is totally a thing.
Fair. Although it also seems like “my” corner of the social web *also* have force (on me) beyond the force I’d expect it to have on them-that-I-pick-up-on. (i.e. if someone shows up and acts needy who I never met before, I’d expect to have a less strong cringe reaction than someone I’ve had time to build up a model/relationship/web of)
(And to be clear, I do think your ultimate call to action of “notice when your S1 and S2 reactions are out of sync, and you have reason to trust your S2 over S1, and treat a person as if they have made it through the valley that your S1 is reacting against” is worthwhile. I’ve found occasion to do it)
Something that feels a bit off about this model to me is… it seems oriented around an iterated game? And the dynamics at play here are relevant in one-off exchanges.
I’m pretty sure (although I can’t think of a clear example offhand) that I’ve met people who, the very first time I ran into them, they were asking for things in a way that felt arrogant, and others who the very first time I met them they seemed to pull off the Winner vibe. (and same for the other two troughs).
Social-web stuff hadn’t had time to kick in yet AFAICT. Some of this can be accounted for by various halo or horns effects (i.e. I’m sure tall, attractive people have an easier time getting parsed as assertive rather than arrogant). But that also feels insufficient.
So my current impression is that a decent chunk of this is better thought of as “there’s a specific cluster of skills you need to perform each level”, and the mechanism for the troughs are “doing a pseudo-random explore of related skills, and getting the nuances wrong, until eventually you have the practice to pull it off.” As opposed to “you need to push through a trough of ‘performing more self-respect that people are willing to credit you.’”
In my experience, “people” are a force in aggregate, far more than individuals. So even if YOU, in particular, “haven’t had time for social-web stuff to kick in”, they’re carrying with them all their aliefs and assumptions from other people, which you yourself pick up on and mirror because preselection is totally a thing.
Fair. Although it also seems like “my” corner of the social web *also* have force (on me) beyond the force I’d expect it to have on them-that-I-pick-up-on. (i.e. if someone shows up and acts needy who I never met before, I’d expect to have a less strong cringe reaction than someone I’ve had time to build up a model/relationship/web of)
(And to be clear, I do think your ultimate call to action of “notice when your S1 and S2 reactions are out of sync, and you have reason to trust your S2 over S1, and treat a person as if they have made it through the valley that your S1 is reacting against” is worthwhile. I’ve found occasion to do it)