Can you find nicer friends? No one has ever been weird about the fact that I don’t really drink. (If anyone tried to be weird about it, I think I would claim there was alcoholism in my family—there’s not, as far as I know. And not be friends with them.)
Without outright asking or commenting, people can still subconsciously judge, especially in certain situations or social groups.
For example, I am the president of my chapter of my fraternity. Some people interested don’t drink. While for the most part people look past the not drinking, there are some activities or events where drinking is common. We have had some non-drinkers still enjoy themselves, but some have been scared away as a result of said activities.
I think an equal precursor to the idea of being judged for not drinking is how you handle being around others who are. If you can still enjoy yourself without the alcohol, in a lot of cases being judged for it is in your imagination. If you sit there awkwardly in the corner sober while everyone else is having a good time, the judgement is very real. It’s just not entirely for the reason you think.
If you sit there awkwardly in the corner sober while everyone else is having a good time, the judgement is very real. It’s just not entirely for the reason you think.
Yeah, not surprising. That doesn’t sound like it adds fun for anyone. (I have been in that situation a few times, but never by choice.)
I wasn’t the most social person when I started hanging out with the fraternity I ended up joining, so I did some of that at first, even when I did drink. It took some time to get out of my shell a little. I have since improved with that, indicated by the fact that I was voted to be president, with the main job of being the “face” of the house. I do my best to help people who are in that role become more involved, whether they choose to drink or not, because I was in a similar role my first year. Some people, and it does generally seem to be the non-drinkers, resist that, and they mostly end up not coming back. Drinking is far from all we do, but it’s one of the ways we relax and get to know people, so people not being social to at least some extent do end up treated differently.
My recommendation if you don’t drink and go to social situations where people do is to simply have a good time. Be social, smile, feel free to be a little animated, and you’ll be alright. There are plenty of nights where people drink where I choose not to (often because I’m broke), and while some nights I will have alcohol handed to me because I don’t have a cup in my hand, for the most part people don’t know if I’m drinking or not. (Unless I do a 12 foot beer bong of wine. Then they can tell.) If you don’t make things awkward, most people won’t either, and the ones who do will be handled by others.
Sure, that’s my usual approach. Times when it hasn’t gone like that have been times when I have very much not wanted to be wherever I was and for one reason or another been unable to escape. I think such a situation is more noticeable to others (and to the one experiencing it, perhaps...) when the person in question is sober than drunk!
Can you find nicer friends? No one has ever been weird about the fact that I don’t really drink. (If anyone tried to be weird about it, I think I would claim there was alcoholism in my family—there’s not, as far as I know. And not be friends with them.)
Without outright asking or commenting, people can still subconsciously judge, especially in certain situations or social groups.
For example, I am the president of my chapter of my fraternity. Some people interested don’t drink. While for the most part people look past the not drinking, there are some activities or events where drinking is common. We have had some non-drinkers still enjoy themselves, but some have been scared away as a result of said activities.
I think an equal precursor to the idea of being judged for not drinking is how you handle being around others who are. If you can still enjoy yourself without the alcohol, in a lot of cases being judged for it is in your imagination. If you sit there awkwardly in the corner sober while everyone else is having a good time, the judgement is very real. It’s just not entirely for the reason you think.
Yeah, not surprising. That doesn’t sound like it adds fun for anyone. (I have been in that situation a few times, but never by choice.)
I wasn’t the most social person when I started hanging out with the fraternity I ended up joining, so I did some of that at first, even when I did drink. It took some time to get out of my shell a little. I have since improved with that, indicated by the fact that I was voted to be president, with the main job of being the “face” of the house. I do my best to help people who are in that role become more involved, whether they choose to drink or not, because I was in a similar role my first year. Some people, and it does generally seem to be the non-drinkers, resist that, and they mostly end up not coming back. Drinking is far from all we do, but it’s one of the ways we relax and get to know people, so people not being social to at least some extent do end up treated differently.
My recommendation if you don’t drink and go to social situations where people do is to simply have a good time. Be social, smile, feel free to be a little animated, and you’ll be alright. There are plenty of nights where people drink where I choose not to (often because I’m broke), and while some nights I will have alcohol handed to me because I don’t have a cup in my hand, for the most part people don’t know if I’m drinking or not. (Unless I do a 12 foot beer bong of wine. Then they can tell.) If you don’t make things awkward, most people won’t either, and the ones who do will be handled by others.
Sure, that’s my usual approach. Times when it hasn’t gone like that have been times when I have very much not wanted to be wherever I was and for one reason or another been unable to escape. I think such a situation is more noticeable to others (and to the one experiencing it, perhaps...) when the person in question is sober than drunk!