If you sit there awkwardly in the corner sober while everyone else is having a good time, the judgement is very real. It’s just not entirely for the reason you think.
Yeah, not surprising. That doesn’t sound like it adds fun for anyone. (I have been in that situation a few times, but never by choice.)
I wasn’t the most social person when I started hanging out with the fraternity I ended up joining, so I did some of that at first, even when I did drink. It took some time to get out of my shell a little. I have since improved with that, indicated by the fact that I was voted to be president, with the main job of being the “face” of the house. I do my best to help people who are in that role become more involved, whether they choose to drink or not, because I was in a similar role my first year. Some people, and it does generally seem to be the non-drinkers, resist that, and they mostly end up not coming back. Drinking is far from all we do, but it’s one of the ways we relax and get to know people, so people not being social to at least some extent do end up treated differently.
My recommendation if you don’t drink and go to social situations where people do is to simply have a good time. Be social, smile, feel free to be a little animated, and you’ll be alright. There are plenty of nights where people drink where I choose not to (often because I’m broke), and while some nights I will have alcohol handed to me because I don’t have a cup in my hand, for the most part people don’t know if I’m drinking or not. (Unless I do a 12 foot beer bong of wine. Then they can tell.) If you don’t make things awkward, most people won’t either, and the ones who do will be handled by others.
Sure, that’s my usual approach. Times when it hasn’t gone like that have been times when I have very much not wanted to be wherever I was and for one reason or another been unable to escape. I think such a situation is more noticeable to others (and to the one experiencing it, perhaps...) when the person in question is sober than drunk!
Yeah, not surprising. That doesn’t sound like it adds fun for anyone. (I have been in that situation a few times, but never by choice.)
I wasn’t the most social person when I started hanging out with the fraternity I ended up joining, so I did some of that at first, even when I did drink. It took some time to get out of my shell a little. I have since improved with that, indicated by the fact that I was voted to be president, with the main job of being the “face” of the house. I do my best to help people who are in that role become more involved, whether they choose to drink or not, because I was in a similar role my first year. Some people, and it does generally seem to be the non-drinkers, resist that, and they mostly end up not coming back. Drinking is far from all we do, but it’s one of the ways we relax and get to know people, so people not being social to at least some extent do end up treated differently.
My recommendation if you don’t drink and go to social situations where people do is to simply have a good time. Be social, smile, feel free to be a little animated, and you’ll be alright. There are plenty of nights where people drink where I choose not to (often because I’m broke), and while some nights I will have alcohol handed to me because I don’t have a cup in my hand, for the most part people don’t know if I’m drinking or not. (Unless I do a 12 foot beer bong of wine. Then they can tell.) If you don’t make things awkward, most people won’t either, and the ones who do will be handled by others.
Sure, that’s my usual approach. Times when it hasn’t gone like that have been times when I have very much not wanted to be wherever I was and for one reason or another been unable to escape. I think such a situation is more noticeable to others (and to the one experiencing it, perhaps...) when the person in question is sober than drunk!