I have a fairly non-assertive, non-confrontational personality, which causes me to defer to “safer” strategies (e.g. nod and smile, don’t think too hard about what’s being said, or at least don’t vocalize counterpoints). Perhaps others here might relate. These personality traits are reflected in “lazy thinking” online—e.g. not posting even when I feel like I’m right about X, not sharing an article or sending a message for fear of looking awkward/revealing a preference about myself that others might not agree with.
I notice that people who are very assertive and/or competitive, who see online discussions as “worth winning”, will be much more publicly vocal about their arguments and thought process. Meek people (like me), may not see the worth in undertaking the risk of publicly revealing arguments or preferences. Embarrassment, shame, potentially being shunned for your revealed preferences, and so on—there are many social risks to being public with your arguments and thought process. And if you don’t value the “win” in the public sphere, why take on that risk?
Perhaps something that holds people back from publishing more is that many people tie their offline identity to their online identities. Or perhaps it’s just a cultural inclination—maybe most people are like me and don’t value the status/social reward of being correct and sharing about it.
Meek people (like me), may not see the worth in undertaking the risk of publicly revealing arguments or preferences. Embarrassment, shame, potentially being shunned for your revealed preferences, and so on—there are many social risks to being public with your arguments and thought process
2 of the 3 ‘risks’ you highlighted are things you have control over; you are an active participant in your feelings of shame and embarrassment[1], they are strategies ‘parts’ of you are pursuing to meet your needs, and through inner work[2][3] you can stop relying on these self-limiting strategies.
The 3rd is a feature, not a bug. By and large, anyone who would shun you in this context is someone you want to be shunned by; someone who really isn’t worth your time and energy. The obvious exceptions are for those who find themselves in hostile cultures where revealing certain preferences poses the risk of literal harm.
Epistemic status: assertive/competitive, status blind autist who is having a great time being this way and loves convincing others to dip their toe in the water and give it a try; you might just find yourself enjoying it too :)
re: public track records
I have a fairly non-assertive, non-confrontational personality, which causes me to defer to “safer” strategies (e.g. nod and smile, don’t think too hard about what’s being said, or at least don’t vocalize counterpoints). Perhaps others here might relate. These personality traits are reflected in “lazy thinking” online—e.g. not posting even when I feel like I’m right about X, not sharing an article or sending a message for fear of looking awkward/revealing a preference about myself that others might not agree with.
I notice that people who are very assertive and/or competitive, who see online discussions as “worth winning”, will be much more publicly vocal about their arguments and thought process. Meek people (like me), may not see the worth in undertaking the risk of publicly revealing arguments or preferences. Embarrassment, shame, potentially being shunned for your revealed preferences, and so on—there are many social risks to being public with your arguments and thought process. And if you don’t value the “win” in the public sphere, why take on that risk?
Perhaps something that holds people back from publishing more is that many people tie their offline identity to their online identities. Or perhaps it’s just a cultural inclination—maybe most people are like me and don’t value the status/social reward of being correct and sharing about it.
It’s enough to be privately rigorous and correct.
2 of the 3 ‘risks’ you highlighted are things you have control over; you are an active participant in your feelings of shame and embarrassment[1], they are strategies ‘parts’ of you are pursuing to meet your needs, and through inner work[2][3] you can stop relying on these self-limiting strategies.
The 3rd is a feature, not a bug. By and large, anyone who would shun you in this context is someone you want to be shunned by; someone who really isn’t worth your time and energy.
The obvious exceptions are for those who find themselves in hostile cultures where revealing certain preferences poses the risk of literal harm.
Epistemic status: assertive/competitive, status blind autist who is having a great time being this way and loves convincing others to dip their toe in the water and give it a try; you might just find yourself enjoying it too :)
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43306206-the-courage-to-be-disliked
https://mindingourway.com/guilt/
https://neuroticgradientdescent.blogspot.com/2019/07/core-transformation.html