This is a little bit more complex.
Sexual desires are not a constant for each invidual person.
It seems (in the poly community) that awesome sexual experiences with one partner make one want more sexual things with the other partners rather than less.
Supplementing D-vitamin (D3 in my case) seems to add more energy and efficient hours in the day for me.
If altering preferences is so easy then the men could alter themselves to be bisexual and solve the problem...
Not advocating that, but if we talk about altered preferences, that is the simplest solution.
Let’s see for a definition, first hit on ‘venue change pua’ is http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/venue-change/
Does building “compliance” and “time distortion” sound ethical? Does it sound like it helps people make informed rational choices?
Everything social is shades of gray, and that is why motives are so important. If the art is so ethical why are description of it so often done in such a bad way?
I think they go more into a “that person is more likely defect for his own win than cooperate” and “that person does not seem safe”.
Also being somewhat sensitive to the system people doing a status competition just stink on a personal level.
Then again I prefer androgynous cooperative helpful people, rather than overtly masculine (or feminine) ones.
Others might find the same behaviors very hot.
“there are many people to whom it doesn’t apply”.
Sorry for the confusion, english is not my first language so sometimes my sentence structures will be confusing.
If the site takes an implicit almost-every-of-us-is-a-single-het-man then it will probably self-select into that direction.
This might be an artifact from my social circles and I don’t doubt that nicer PUAs might exist on the internet. However people having negative PUA experiences in real life affects how the label is seen by different kinds of people.
And that can be relevant if the project wants to attract others than the single-hetero-male crowd.
But it seems like many men on the hinges of the social circle seem to get an “it is ok to lie to get sex because no harm done in that to the women, and it is their fault for not giving enough sex in the beginning.” from various PUA sources.
Personally I am quite interested in ideas about open honest communication as good relationship practices and the whole “relationship management by white lies” is quite the opposite.
Then there are the ideas from Roissy etc that are directly misogynic
Many “alpha” behaviours can be creepy.
Someone being submissive is not creepy.
This as a personal note, not as a general truth.
Because some people are in happy long term relationships, where picking new people up or dating new people are not very important.
In real life the most common exposure to PUA is sadly men thinking that it is ok to lie to get into bed.
So this has created a situation where “more exposure to PUA locally” → “more exposure to lying men” → “less trust” → negative externalities.
This is not to imply that PUA is all dark arts, just a perspective from the other side of the fence. There are probably lots of more ethical PUAs, but this is sadly the most visible part.
Do you really need a “theory of mind” for that?
Our partners are not a foreign species. Communicate lots in an open and honest manner with hir and try to understand what makes that particular person click.
Maybe consider an another term, PUA as a term can drag many shitstorms and divide community even if you are trying to avoid dark arts.
The whole “happiness limited by shyness/social awkwardness which results in no dates” stereotype does not apply to many people here.
e.g. I consider job interviews much more terrifying than finding new people (which seems mostly limited by the amount of free time).
A simple example is height. On average men are taller than women.
But most of the time making a men=tall, women=short simplification does not make sense. It makes more sense to provide multiple sizes for both women and men.
And if providing only a very limited selection of sizes (e.g. hospital clothing) it makes sense to provide different unisex sizes rather than one for men and one for women.
If the rates are changing dramatically wouldn’t this imply they are not mainly caused by genetic components?
Sorry, misinterpreted the sweet tooth mentioned together with weight gain as a potential issue. My wrong.
Given two groups there are probably mental differences.
More interesting is are the distributions bimodal and how much have they changed in e.g. last 100 years.
If the distributions are not bimodal or change relatively strong with time then a simplistic view of “women X, men Y” won’t work.
Have you considered Stevia (Rebaudioside A) as a solution?
I actually keep getting good ideas in some areas while sleeping.
E.g. when facing a difficult problem in programming sleeping a night seems to give the solution quite often.
Count to ten.
Learning one was wrong (and updating) is a good thing.
One should be more interested in obtaining information than winning debates.
Not telling is mostly about wanting to avoid the other party getting angry.
I wouldn’t mind disclosing the reasons to someone if I was given some confidence they wouldn’t get angry at me.
Thus most of the time one ends up using polite safe generic to turn away people.