I would like to direct your attention to Be Specific and the Attractiveness: Mean and Variance section of Rational Romantic Relationships. (unfortunately I can’t link directly to that section of the article).
What I mean is this: which women do you really want to become attractive to? In addition to the term “females” seeming perhaps autistic, or sexist as JoshuaZ points out, it also seems animalistic. You’re not a bird asking for advice on how to build a beautiful nest, grow a beautiful plume of feathers or sing the prettiest song… in order to be “more attractive to females”. You’re a human, and you have a complex personality and complex interests, and so the optimal strategy is not just to ask the biological question of what things will make you most attractive in general to all of the females of our species. I mean, those things do matter. But a much better question is to figure out what kind of women you want to attract, and then figure out the subtleties that will help you interest them and attract them. You also, of course, want the behaviour that results to be consistent with your own personal preferences, at least in some ways.
My story of this exact thing: most people would probably recommend optimizing for attracting women by being masculine. That’s a good strategy if you want to be reasonably attractive to most women. Personally, I find that that most commonly attracts very feminine women, and I prefer women who are more androgynous. I also don’t personally feel comfortable being macho. So I don’t. Part of what I realized (around the same time I read lukeprog’s article linked above) is that there are actually a substantial number of women who are really turned on by men who wear flamboyant clothing (some of which is in fact from the “ladies” section of the store). So I decided not to care about the majority of women who find that offputting, because I’d rather hang out with the minority who do, and since there’s a shortage of guys wearing anything remotely like what I wear, this makes me in relatively high demand. But I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t want to wear that clothing for my own sake as well.
This is something I’ve come up against quite strongly. I note that typical advice for attracting women seems focused on a type of woman I am broadly uninterested in; I find myself a little bereft of ideas on what works for the kind of woman I do like. I’m often reminded of this passage from HughRistik, elsewhere on this site:
Gangestad et al. found that 90-95% of women fit into a gender-typical taxon based on their interests and traits, while 5-10% of women are a gender-atypical taxon (which also contains most of the queer women). 90-95% of women are wired one way; 5-10% are wired another way. As a result, there actually probably are many examples where it’s reasonable to approach women with one set of heuristics by default unless you have special evidence that they are gender-atypical, which allows you to pull out some different heuristics.
But a much better question is to figure out what kind of women you want to attract, and then figure out the subtleties that will help you interest them and attract them. You also, of course, want the behaviour that results to be consistent with your own personal preferences, at least in some ways.
As far as I can tell, I’m attracted to girls normally referred to as ‘bitch’. That is strong-willed, sexually promiscuous, out-of-the-box thinking, independent girls. Body type seems to be much less of an issue, I’ve found myself attracted to both very thin and quite chubby girls, from athletic to maternal/feminine, with any combination of hair style, eyes color, etc. I would say that the primary factor is a very strong personality: any idea on how to attract those kind of girls?
I truly haven’t the slightest idea. I could see them to be attracted both to strong or weak-willed, well-built and chubby, rich or poor men. How could I find out?
I can imagine strong-willed women as being very definite about what they want, so there might not be a shared type except that they don’t want men who try to override them, but this is just a guess.
It’s funny because I hadn’t thought to simply ask the web :)
I definitely will...
I’m also reminded of studies that showed how similarity is more attractive than the opposite, so while I get more data I can postulate that strong-willed girls like strong-willed men.
I’m definitely not the best person to ask, as I have so little interest in attracting them, but (unlike many of the women I mention as being of my taste) I suspect that general PUA tactics would be quite effective here.
I would like to direct your attention to Be Specific and the Attractiveness: Mean and Variance section of Rational Romantic Relationships. (unfortunately I can’t link directly to that section of the article).
What I mean is this: which women do you really want to become attractive to? In addition to the term “females” seeming perhaps autistic, or sexist as JoshuaZ points out, it also seems animalistic. You’re not a bird asking for advice on how to build a beautiful nest, grow a beautiful plume of feathers or sing the prettiest song… in order to be “more attractive to females”. You’re a human, and you have a complex personality and complex interests, and so the optimal strategy is not just to ask the biological question of what things will make you most attractive in general to all of the females of our species. I mean, those things do matter. But a much better question is to figure out what kind of women you want to attract, and then figure out the subtleties that will help you interest them and attract them. You also, of course, want the behaviour that results to be consistent with your own personal preferences, at least in some ways.
My story of this exact thing: most people would probably recommend optimizing for attracting women by being masculine. That’s a good strategy if you want to be reasonably attractive to most women. Personally, I find that that most commonly attracts very feminine women, and I prefer women who are more androgynous. I also don’t personally feel comfortable being macho. So I don’t. Part of what I realized (around the same time I read lukeprog’s article linked above) is that there are actually a substantial number of women who are really turned on by men who wear flamboyant clothing (some of which is in fact from the “ladies” section of the store). So I decided not to care about the majority of women who find that offputting, because I’d rather hang out with the minority who do, and since there’s a shortage of guys wearing anything remotely like what I wear, this makes me in relatively high demand. But I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t want to wear that clothing for my own sake as well.
This is something I’ve come up against quite strongly. I note that typical advice for attracting women seems focused on a type of woman I am broadly uninterested in; I find myself a little bereft of ideas on what works for the kind of woman I do like. I’m often reminded of this passage from HughRistik, elsewhere on this site:
As far as I can tell, I’m attracted to girls normally referred to as ‘bitch’. That is strong-willed, sexually promiscuous, out-of-the-box thinking, independent girls. Body type seems to be much less of an issue, I’ve found myself attracted to both very thin and quite chubby girls, from athletic to maternal/feminine, with any combination of hair style, eyes color, etc.
I would say that the primary factor is a very strong personality: any idea on how to attract those kind of girls?
Please consider what sorts of guys the sorts of girls you are attracted to are attracted to.
I truly haven’t the slightest idea. I could see them to be attracted both to strong or weak-willed, well-built and chubby, rich or poor men. How could I find out?
Empirical observation.
Raise the topic at Metafilter?
I can imagine strong-willed women as being very definite about what they want, so there might not be a shared type except that they don’t want men who try to override them, but this is just a guess.
It’s funny because I hadn’t thought to simply ask the web :) I definitely will...
I’m also reminded of studies that showed how similarity is more attractive than the opposite, so while I get more data I can postulate that strong-willed girls like strong-willed men.
I’m definitely not the best person to ask, as I have so little interest in attracting them, but (unlike many of the women I mention as being of my taste) I suspect that general PUA tactics would be quite effective here.