The linked Socratic Grilling post has as an explicit thesis that treating the grilling as an hostile act should “never, ever say that”
There is no duty to have infinite stamina to continue a discussion but if one side runs out of stamina it doesn’t mean tha the other side automatically did something wrong.
One of the chief reasons to keep on responding is the fear the audience inference would be adverse to the quitter. The fear of what it might be can often be greater than what it actually is. The other point to balance is that some audience will draw a conclusion of “eating the bait” ie negative interference from engaging in the discussion. But even if the inference for stopping would be negative sometimes it is better to stop digging the hole you are in and accept your losses.
treating the grilling as an hostile act should “never, ever say that”
The internet typically contains more role ambiguity and outright hostility than a classroom setting. So I think we need different norms.
Ideally, I’d like to promote thought-patterns like:
“This conversation feels 40% hostile and 80% unproductive. That’s too much for me to continue, but I want to say my say to get my point across to any good-faith readers, or to my conversation partner in case I’m misinterpreting them. So I’m going to Stop Out Loud at the end of this comment.”
The linked Socratic Grilling post has as an explicit thesis that treating the grilling as an hostile act should “never, ever say that”
There is no duty to have infinite stamina to continue a discussion but if one side runs out of stamina it doesn’t mean tha the other side automatically did something wrong.
One of the chief reasons to keep on responding is the fear the audience inference would be adverse to the quitter. The fear of what it might be can often be greater than what it actually is. The other point to balance is that some audience will draw a conclusion of “eating the bait” ie negative interference from engaging in the discussion. But even if the inference for stopping would be negative sometimes it is better to stop digging the hole you are in and accept your losses.
I agree with each of your points.
The internet typically contains more role ambiguity and outright hostility than a classroom setting. So I think we need different norms.
Ideally, I’d like to promote thought-patterns like:
“This conversation feels 40% hostile and 80% unproductive. That’s too much for me to continue, but I want to say my say to get my point across to any good-faith readers, or to my conversation partner in case I’m misinterpreting them. So I’m going to Stop Out Loud at the end of this comment.”