That’s not entirely true—spending time around people who are in the mode I want to be in will put me in that mode.
That effect is also why it makes people uncomfortable. If you are in your head and a person openly wants to interact with you it draws them into their head as well.
Different people have different sensitivity to that.
A straightforward way to get out of your head is sports. If your heart beat is at 160 while you run a marathon, your analytical mode is likely of.
There might be a few people on LW who are stable enough in their analytical mode to still have it working in that situation but most people will get kicked out.
That’s a blunt way. I think that tacking up martial arts is more yielding than picking up running as a hobby. Discussing the advantages of various forms of physical activity isn’t something I want to go into that this place, but if you lack physical activity, it’s key.
Another that’s relevant to this conversation is being connected to your emotional desire. If you have a desire to spend time with a woman, saying: “I really enjoy spending time with you. I would like to spend more time with you, are you free on Thursday?”
That’s nonviolent communication (NVC).
You don’t ask: “Do you have a crush on me? I need that information to decide how to interact with you.”
You feel into your desire and put it in words to allow the other person agency.
You don’t hide information from them but are open. If you do that with strong emotional desires it get’s you out of your head.
But don’t go out and memorize that line word by word. If you memorize it word by word and say it in the mirror till you say it flawlessly you aren’t in touch with your emotions in the moment. Reciting memorized lines won’t get you out of your head and the emotional impact on the other person is less and as a result the changes of the other person reacting positively are lower as well.
Whether you can open with every desire will be different in different social environments. At work it might not be appropriate to voice every desire but I think it’s very worthwhile to move in other circles where you can be open.
That effect is also why it makes people uncomfortable. If you are in your head and a person openly wants to interact with you it draws them into their head as well. Different people have different sensitivity to that.
A straightforward way to get out of your head is sports. If your heart beat is at 160 while you run a marathon, your analytical mode is likely of. There might be a few people on LW who are stable enough in their analytical mode to still have it working in that situation but most people will get kicked out.
That’s a blunt way. I think that tacking up martial arts is more yielding than picking up running as a hobby. Discussing the advantages of various forms of physical activity isn’t something I want to go into that this place, but if you lack physical activity, it’s key.
Another that’s relevant to this conversation is being connected to your emotional desire. If you have a desire to spend time with a woman, saying: “I really enjoy spending time with you. I would like to spend more time with you, are you free on Thursday?” That’s nonviolent communication (NVC).
You don’t ask: “Do you have a crush on me? I need that information to decide how to interact with you.” You feel into your desire and put it in words to allow the other person agency. You don’t hide information from them but are open. If you do that with strong emotional desires it get’s you out of your head.
But don’t go out and memorize that line word by word. If you memorize it word by word and say it in the mirror till you say it flawlessly you aren’t in touch with your emotions in the moment. Reciting memorized lines won’t get you out of your head and the emotional impact on the other person is less and as a result the changes of the other person reacting positively are lower as well.
Whether you can open with every desire will be different in different social environments. At work it might not be appropriate to voice every desire but I think it’s very worthwhile to move in other circles where you can be open.