Keep in pocket.
Bury it.
Lock it away.
Hide inside a belt buckle.
Hide inside large public statue.
Submerge underwater.
Hide in taxidermized fish wall mount.
Hide inside hollow brick at home.
Hide in the roof, no one ever looks up.
Entrust to neighbors.
Entrust to local priest.
Cut part of one foot and hide pen inside prosthetic.
Push it through someone’s nose Homer Simpson style.
If I know where I’ll sell it to him, bury nearby.
Research if there’s a way to get in jail and keep the pencil (and hopefully something to write on and another pencil, so as to not appear suspicious).
Use tree shaping to grow tree around metal box containing pen.
Use knowledge of the future to amass money and personnel.
Buy (through cut-outs) massive amounts of similar pens.
Dye pen.
Switch one of the pieces so that it looks different, hopefully a piece that can be hidden inside the actual pen.
Hide fake pens (maybe the real one with low probability) inside buried safes.
Hide fake pieces inside all the fake pens so they’re still indistinguishable.
Spread misinformation among enemies.
Spread disinformation among enemies.
Infiltrate enemies, generate goose searches.
Infiltrate enemies, fully subvert them.
Use passwords that can be decrypted but will divert significant enemy resources.
Entrust fake pens to allied organizations without telling them.
Make a ballpark guess on the value of Einstein’s knowledge, minus whatever parts I can reconstruct by memory, multiply by two and ask that much for the pen. Give fake pen anyways.
Travel all over the world, dropping fake pens as a means to divert enemy resources.
Switch places with agent through gruesome WWI plastic surgery in case I’m caught and tortured for the pen.
hide fake pens inside all of my belongings.
Leak fake information about my retirement, again switch places with agent, except now the real one is still working and the fake one is going undercover.
Hire agents through cut-outs to steal the pen, ultimately making it come back to me to test for information leaks and weaknesses.
Execute dummy plans that are just regular enterprises to divert suspicion.
Stage fake destruction of the pen in case it ever comes close to being captured and the enemy needs it rather than wants to destroy it.
Feign defeat if one of the fake pens is particularly convincing.
Disappear enemy agents who come for the pen and establish fake searches for them to make the enemy think the agent has the pen.
Keep multiple fake pens on my person.
Sometimes keep none but have someone with multiple fake pens nearby.
Make advertisement campaigns to make pens a more palatable fashion accessory.
Create agencies tasked with keeping track of particular sets of pens.
One day just go innawoods for a while with little preparation and without telling anyone for a few years, may or may not have pen.
Bury some pens while I’m at it.
Bury some extra pens in places where major WWI battles will take place so they can’t be checked for a while.
Research where the identity of the pen itself lies, Ship of Theseus shenanigans are sure to arise.
If enemy is human organization (I’ve been assuming so for most of this but whatever) spread disinformation about them and make them public enemies.
Research artifacts that can be built using all the parts from the pen.
Research how the pen is supposed to cause the writing of the papers, if replacements are possible, how much I can change the pen, etc.
Hide in sock under mattress.
This one has the most “do X with the enemy” posts so far, which I really like. I need to branch out of my “slash ‘em, smash ‘em, skin ’em alive!” reflex when people say evil forces.
3 minutes late, but significantly more coherent.
Keep in pocket. Bury it. Lock it away. Hide inside a belt buckle. Hide inside large public statue. Submerge underwater. Hide in taxidermized fish wall mount. Hide inside hollow brick at home. Hide in the roof, no one ever looks up. Entrust to neighbors. Entrust to local priest. Cut part of one foot and hide pen inside prosthetic. Push it through someone’s nose Homer Simpson style. If I know where I’ll sell it to him, bury nearby. Research if there’s a way to get in jail and keep the pencil (and hopefully something to write on and another pencil, so as to not appear suspicious). Use tree shaping to grow tree around metal box containing pen. Use knowledge of the future to amass money and personnel. Buy (through cut-outs) massive amounts of similar pens. Dye pen. Switch one of the pieces so that it looks different, hopefully a piece that can be hidden inside the actual pen. Hide fake pens (maybe the real one with low probability) inside buried safes. Hide fake pieces inside all the fake pens so they’re still indistinguishable. Spread misinformation among enemies. Spread disinformation among enemies. Infiltrate enemies, generate goose searches. Infiltrate enemies, fully subvert them. Use passwords that can be decrypted but will divert significant enemy resources. Entrust fake pens to allied organizations without telling them. Make a ballpark guess on the value of Einstein’s knowledge, minus whatever parts I can reconstruct by memory, multiply by two and ask that much for the pen. Give fake pen anyways. Travel all over the world, dropping fake pens as a means to divert enemy resources. Switch places with agent through gruesome WWI plastic surgery in case I’m caught and tortured for the pen. hide fake pens inside all of my belongings. Leak fake information about my retirement, again switch places with agent, except now the real one is still working and the fake one is going undercover. Hire agents through cut-outs to steal the pen, ultimately making it come back to me to test for information leaks and weaknesses. Execute dummy plans that are just regular enterprises to divert suspicion. Stage fake destruction of the pen in case it ever comes close to being captured and the enemy needs it rather than wants to destroy it. Feign defeat if one of the fake pens is particularly convincing. Disappear enemy agents who come for the pen and establish fake searches for them to make the enemy think the agent has the pen. Keep multiple fake pens on my person. Sometimes keep none but have someone with multiple fake pens nearby. Make advertisement campaigns to make pens a more palatable fashion accessory. Create agencies tasked with keeping track of particular sets of pens. One day just go innawoods for a while with little preparation and without telling anyone for a few years, may or may not have pen. Bury some pens while I’m at it. Bury some extra pens in places where major WWI battles will take place so they can’t be checked for a while. Research where the identity of the pen itself lies, Ship of Theseus shenanigans are sure to arise. If enemy is human organization (I’ve been assuming so for most of this but whatever) spread disinformation about them and make them public enemies. Research artifacts that can be built using all the parts from the pen. Research how the pen is supposed to cause the writing of the papers, if replacements are possible, how much I can change the pen, etc. Hide in sock under mattress.
This one has the most “do X with the enemy” posts so far, which I really like. I need to branch out of my “slash ‘em, smash ‘em, skin ’em alive!” reflex when people say evil forces.