I agree with all of this and it underscores why I loathe networking
Trying to hit the balance of not being overly transactional and signaling the right way but also trying to make sure that my signaling itself isn’t perceived as conscious (which it is) is agonizing for me
(1) Some channels, like email, provide strategic ambiguity on whether signalling is conscious or not.
(2) It’s possible to build habits (eg. asking thoughtful, open ended questions, doing more research than the median person would etc) that could eventually become sub-conscious.
I don’t necessarily think “being transactional” is the problem. What i’ve observed more frequently is a complete lack of awarness of the other party’s interests and incentives. (theory of mind).
I also don’t know that conscious signalling is necessarily the problem, it’s signalling without attempting to make it a mutually beneficial interaction.
I agree with all of this and it underscores why I loathe networking
Trying to hit the balance of not being overly transactional and signaling the right way but also trying to make sure that my signaling itself isn’t perceived as conscious (which it is) is agonizing for me
(1) Some channels, like email, provide strategic ambiguity on whether signalling is conscious or not.
(2) It’s possible to build habits (eg. asking thoughtful, open ended questions, doing more research than the median person would etc) that could eventually become sub-conscious.
I don’t necessarily think “being transactional” is the problem. What i’ve observed more frequently is a complete lack of awarness of the other party’s interests and incentives. (theory of mind).
I also don’t know that conscious signalling is necessarily the problem, it’s signalling without attempting to make it a mutually beneficial interaction.