There’s definitely truth in that, but I think it’s below 80 on both counts, at least in 2020. Going about one’s business even in an ordinary way requires an understanding of a lot of higher meanings. Very little directly corresponds to reality.
I think it is correct that “please pass the potatoes” is Stage 1, but it’s not the best example for describing what this article is talking about. It’s more about the hearer than the speaker, in some ways, and what broader context they bring to a straightforward statement.
I think the idea is more like that at level 2, the child no longer passes the potatoes just because it’s the moral and practical thing to do, but sees it as an imposition and wants to know why he has to. The parent may be using the phrase exactly the same, but has failed to teach the child to appreciate his wider social obligations and what needs to be done to keep the community going. At level 3, the child thinks “better do what mom says and pass the potatoes or get yelled at/grounded,” but again sees it as a hassle rather than healthy interaction. This is because whenever she asks why, she gets told “because I said so.” Even though the reason her mom would ask is common sense, if you’re used to getting that answer, you often stop observing your own surroundings and think of things in a self-absorbed rather than common sense manner. At level 4, you may to get a point where a child casually passes a platter with one potato left, not thinking to get more or warn they are gone, because they don’t get that the request implies you want to eat the potatoes, not just possess a plate with scraps. Or they might get embarrassed by not knowing what to do and asked to be excused.
The “Please” doesn’t actually belong. I was importing the definition “I would be somewhat happier if …” into that word, but the cultural overtones cannot be escaped, and that puts the sentence anywhere on the Level Scale
Upon reflection, I see that any request necessarily has overtones at all levels, due to the possibility of alternative phrasings. (Please X; X; Hey you, X; X, or else; ^&*^% X &*^%%)
There’s definitely truth in that, but I think it’s below 80 on both counts, at least in 2020. Going about one’s business even in an ordinary way requires an understanding of a lot of higher meanings. Very little directly corresponds to reality.
I think it is correct that “please pass the potatoes” is Stage 1, but it’s not the best example for describing what this article is talking about. It’s more about the hearer than the speaker, in some ways, and what broader context they bring to a straightforward statement.
I think the idea is more like that at level 2, the child no longer passes the potatoes just because it’s the moral and practical thing to do, but sees it as an imposition and wants to know why he has to. The parent may be using the phrase exactly the same, but has failed to teach the child to appreciate his wider social obligations and what needs to be done to keep the community going. At level 3, the child thinks “better do what mom says and pass the potatoes or get yelled at/grounded,” but again sees it as a hassle rather than healthy interaction. This is because whenever she asks why, she gets told “because I said so.” Even though the reason her mom would ask is common sense, if you’re used to getting that answer, you often stop observing your own surroundings and think of things in a self-absorbed rather than common sense manner. At level 4, you may to get a point where a child casually passes a platter with one potato left, not thinking to get more or warn they are gone, because they don’t get that the request implies you want to eat the potatoes, not just possess a plate with scraps. Or they might get embarrassed by not knowing what to do and asked to be excused.
The “Please” doesn’t actually belong. I was importing the definition “I would be somewhat happier if …” into that word, but the cultural overtones cannot be escaped, and that puts the sentence anywhere on the Level Scale
Upon reflection, I see that any request necessarily has overtones at all levels, due to the possibility of alternative phrasings. (Please X; X; Hey you, X; X, or else; ^&*^% X &*^%%)