At times like this, I tend to think I were genetically “meant” to be The Tribes Shaman, every aspect of my psychology and maybe even some physical being fine tuned for that specific role by some ancient cluster of genes that got combined in just the right way to synergize and get their activation turned up to eleven. I even start to suspect the inability to act on this at all might contribute to my crippling mental illness. Right now, a picture of beaver with bloody stumps for paws trying to dig into a concrete floor refuses to stop loping in my head. Not that I trust any of these suspicions or intuitions, it’s probably nonsense, but revealing them seems like the best way to communicating what I’m feeling.
I have no idea how much I’d give for a gotenburg based meetup, but it’s certainly something absurdly desperate.
This post resonates so deeply within me… it’s like some clichéd “calling”, like this is what I were meant to spend my life doing and I’d spend it all in a creepy wireheaded stupor of ecstasy because of how fun it’d be. Everything I’ve ever managed to get myself to study or practice seems optimized for this one task.
Yea, it’s ridiculous, maybe I’m just sleep deprived, or maybe you’re just really, really good at what you’re doing.
In unrelated news: if you havn’t decided on what ritual to work on next, what about some kind of UDT based unbreakable oath type thing?
If that is really how you feel, maybe you should do just that. Find a small egalitarian church or pagan group or occult circle or metal scene or art scene and start guiding people through rituals. After you level up your shaman skills, you can take your most impressionable, emotionally vulnerable acolytes and instill them with the virtues of critical thinking and emotional self-reliance. If you’re successful, people will love your rituals celebrating sane decision-making, and you can share the fruits of your labor with the global Less Wrong community.
Sometimes I will stand and look at the church and wonder if today is the day I get desperate enough to go full sociopath, pretend to join the flock, and use the network to start a deviant christianity offshoot.
WANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANT WANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTNEEDNEEDNEED NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
Ok, I’m done now. D:
At times like this, I tend to think I were genetically “meant” to be The Tribes Shaman, every aspect of my psychology and maybe even some physical being fine tuned for that specific role by some ancient cluster of genes that got combined in just the right way to synergize and get their activation turned up to eleven. I even start to suspect the inability to act on this at all might contribute to my crippling mental illness. Right now, a picture of beaver with bloody stumps for paws trying to dig into a concrete floor refuses to stop loping in my head. Not that I trust any of these suspicions or intuitions, it’s probably nonsense, but revealing them seems like the best way to communicating what I’m feeling.
I have no idea how much I’d give for a gotenburg based meetup, but it’s certainly something absurdly desperate.
This post resonates so deeply within me… it’s like some clichéd “calling”, like this is what I were meant to spend my life doing and I’d spend it all in a creepy wireheaded stupor of ecstasy because of how fun it’d be. Everything I’ve ever managed to get myself to study or practice seems optimized for this one task.
Yea, it’s ridiculous, maybe I’m just sleep deprived, or maybe you’re just really, really good at what you’re doing.
In unrelated news: if you havn’t decided on what ritual to work on next, what about some kind of UDT based unbreakable oath type thing?
Downvoted for breaking text wrapping.
fixed
I went with −1 for breaking text wrapping, +1 for genuine expression of an interesting feeling, for a total of 0.
If that is really how you feel, maybe you should do just that. Find a small egalitarian church or pagan group or occult circle or metal scene or art scene and start guiding people through rituals. After you level up your shaman skills, you can take your most impressionable, emotionally vulnerable acolytes and instill them with the virtues of critical thinking and emotional self-reliance. If you’re successful, people will love your rituals celebrating sane decision-making, and you can share the fruits of your labor with the global Less Wrong community.
(I’m assuming there are no LWers in Gothenburg.)
I’d rather die [graphic description of particularly gruesome way to die].
Why, if I may ask?
Sometimes I will stand and look at the church and wonder if today is the day I get desperate enough to go full sociopath, pretend to join the flock, and use the network to start a deviant christianity offshoot.