I prefer not to judge people’s coping strategies as pathetic because it feels unpleasant to do so and I think I can rescue anything good about that with a strategy that doesn’t feel bad or cause others to feel bad.
Can you offer your alternate framing here? I’m not particularly motivated by what you’ve written so far, though I do agree outright with the article, which I should probably note.
It isn’t a single universal strategy. It is spending the time necessary to investigate. In this case it would be investigating what portraying others as pathetic is getting me, likely a motivation to ‘not be pathetic’ and therby take actions that I think are good. The issue is then that I don’t endorse such negative motivation. So what’s the positive thing that ‘not being pathetic’ gets me? If those things I am working towards are good, is there something blocking me feeling motivated by their goodness directly?
Note this sort of investigation involves primarily feeling tones a la Gendlin’s Focusing, so it probably doesn’t sound very compelling written out.
I prefer not to judge people’s coping strategies as pathetic because it feels unpleasant to do so and I think I can rescue anything good about that with a strategy that doesn’t feel bad or cause others to feel bad.
Can you offer your alternate framing here? I’m not particularly motivated by what you’ve written so far, though I do agree outright with the article, which I should probably note.
It isn’t a single universal strategy. It is spending the time necessary to investigate. In this case it would be investigating what portraying others as pathetic is getting me, likely a motivation to ‘not be pathetic’ and therby take actions that I think are good. The issue is then that I don’t endorse such negative motivation. So what’s the positive thing that ‘not being pathetic’ gets me? If those things I am working towards are good, is there something blocking me feeling motivated by their goodness directly? Note this sort of investigation involves primarily feeling tones a la Gendlin’s Focusing, so it probably doesn’t sound very compelling written out.