In Thrawn’s experience there are three ingredients to greatness
I think the way tenses are handled in the early part of this section is distractingly weird. (I can’t tell how petty I’m being here.) (I’d be inclined to fix the problem by italicizing the parts Thrawn is thinking, and changing “Thrawn wasn’t” to “I’m not”.)
If you go up to someone powerful and ask for something, then there’s 60% chance you lose nothing and a 1% chance you win big.
. . . what happens in the remaining 39%?
Also (outrageously pedantic stylistic point even by my standards incoming) it’s strange to follow up “60% chance” with “a 1% chance”: it should either be “n% chance” both times or “a n% chance” both times.
I think the way tenses are handled in the early part of this section is distractingly weird. (I can’t tell how petty I’m being here.) (I’d be inclined to fix the problem by italicizing the parts Thrawn is thinking, and changing “Thrawn wasn’t” to “I’m not”.)
. . . what happens in the remaining 39%?
Also (outrageously pedantic stylistic point even by my standards incoming) it’s strange to follow up “60% chance” with “a 1% chance”: it should either be “n% chance” both times or “a n% chance” both times.
This is great editing feedback. Thank you. I have made a change to my use of italics that makes the typography a little less confusing.
I’ve added a note to explain why the probabilities add up to less than 100%.
As for your last pedantic stylistic point: you are completely correct. I have fixed it. Thanks.