See also Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser, a substantial overview of different sorts of PUA, a woman’s experiences exploring the PUA subcultures, and some theory on the subject.
Has anyone read the book?
She picks up on something I find off-putting about much of the PUA material I’ve seen (and LW is almost the only place that I’ve seen PUA material). It seems to be set in a universe where no one likes anybody.
something I find off-putting about much of the PUA material I’ve seen (and LW is almost the only place that I’ve seen PUA material). It seems to be set in a universe where no one likes anybody.
That is actually a good way of stating the difference between the material that I don’t like, vs. the material I do. People who focus on the zero-sum aspects of mating and dating (i.e. both inter- and intra-gender competition) seem, well, creepy to me.
I suppose those folks might write off my concerns as simply saying they’re displaying low status by focusing on those aspects, but I think the real issue, as you state, is simply that they seem to live in a universe where nobody likes anybody or has any positive intentions, and people who think otherwise are all just signalling or deluded. It’s like if HP:MoR’s Professor Quirrel was giving relationship classes!
(Luckily, this is not a universal characteristic of PUA theory, as Soporno and AMP demonstrate.)
[Edit: brain fart—I wrote “non-zero sum” when I meant “zero sum”]
In theory, I think it would be possible to have an alliance-building PUA model of relationships, and it would still be Quirrelesque.
HughRistik had a different list of benign elements in PUA, I think—but have any of the benign styles shown up at LW?
I’m not sure whether this is relevant, but it took me a while to put what bothers me about PUA as I’ve seen it into words, and longer than that to pull together the nerve to post about it.
Appeared with sufficient force to make an impression.
This is admittedly subjective (and probably incomplete—I don’t read everything at LW), but what I saw was probably mid-range PUA—neither grossly misogynistic nor obviously benign—combined with claims that there are excellent elements in PUA and I shouldn’t stereotype it by its worst.
The stuff that’s particularly benign in PUA is also the stuff that PUA has no monopoly on.
But yeah, I think that the true rejection is just how Quirrel-ish it is. Not harmful, not unprincipled, but just how it seems to be written for the sake of sexytimes alone.
Reading the book now. I’m certainly less anti-PUA than I was before I started reading it., and I have much more sympathy for the guys who join the seduction community than I used to.
She picks up on something I find off-putting about much of the PUA material I’ve seen (and LW is almost the only place that I’ve seen PUA material). It seems to be set in a universe where no one likes anybody.
See also Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser, a substantial overview of different sorts of PUA, a woman’s experiences exploring the PUA subcultures, and some theory on the subject.
Has anyone read the book?
She picks up on something I find off-putting about much of the PUA material I’ve seen (and LW is almost the only place that I’ve seen PUA material). It seems to be set in a universe where no one likes anybody.
That is actually a good way of stating the difference between the material that I don’t like, vs. the material I do. People who focus on the zero-sum aspects of mating and dating (i.e. both inter- and intra-gender competition) seem, well, creepy to me.
I suppose those folks might write off my concerns as simply saying they’re displaying low status by focusing on those aspects, but I think the real issue, as you state, is simply that they seem to live in a universe where nobody likes anybody or has any positive intentions, and people who think otherwise are all just signalling or deluded. It’s like if HP:MoR’s Professor Quirrel was giving relationship classes!
(Luckily, this is not a universal characteristic of PUA theory, as Soporno and AMP demonstrate.)
[Edit: brain fart—I wrote “non-zero sum” when I meant “zero sum”]
Non-zero sum? I’m not sure that’s the issue.
In theory, I think it would be possible to have an alliance-building PUA model of relationships, and it would still be Quirrelesque.
HughRistik had a different list of benign elements in PUA, I think—but have any of the benign styles shown up at LW?
I’m not sure whether this is relevant, but it took me a while to put what bothers me about PUA as I’ve seen it into words, and longer than that to pull together the nerve to post about it.
I agree; it’s just a symptom. “A universe where no one likes anybody” is a much better summation.
Define “shown up”.
Appeared with sufficient force to make an impression.
This is admittedly subjective (and probably incomplete—I don’t read everything at LW), but what I saw was probably mid-range PUA—neither grossly misogynistic nor obviously benign—combined with claims that there are excellent elements in PUA and I shouldn’t stereotype it by its worst.
The stuff that’s particularly benign in PUA is also the stuff that PUA has no monopoly on.
But yeah, I think that the true rejection is just how Quirrel-ish it is. Not harmful, not unprincipled, but just how it seems to be written for the sake of sexytimes alone.
Reading the book now. I’m certainly less anti-PUA than I was before I started reading it., and I have much more sympathy for the guys who join the seduction community than I used to.
She picks up on something I find off-putting about much of the PUA material I’ve seen (and LW is almost the only place that I’ve seen PUA material). It seems to be set in a universe where no one likes anybody.
Yes, this!
It was written by a Less Wronger. I’m not sure whether that’s ironic or not.
I read and enjoyed it.