Now, if it does happens, yes, the creep involved has no excuse but to stop. But the signals people, and particularly woman, give off can be much more obscure if you don’t know what you’re doing.
That sounds like placing the onus for dealing with poor social skills onto the person who’s confronted with them, though, in a general sort of way.
If you’re dealing with a person with a person with poor social skills, the onus is already on you. You can try to help, or you can run away, or do a hundred other things, but you are already dealing with it.
I’d just like to suggest that using subtle social cues on the socially inept might not be terribly effective for accomplishing desired social outcomes with that person.
I’d just like to point out that “onus” is a horrible word, one that should automatically be marked with a red flag. It’s probably not doing you any favors here.
If you’re dealing with a person with a person with poor social skills, the onus is already on you
As a person with poor-to-middling social skills at the best of times: no, that’s silly and I reject it as a working premise for conflict resolution and group interaction.
Establishing a social norm that hey, some folks here might be autistic or poorly socialized or otherwise have some difficulties with the usual set of interactions is completely different from establishing a norm that whenever someone failing at some element of socialization, and thereby causing others to feel unsafe, pressured or disturbed, then those who’ve had the reaction are obligated to see the situation resolved to that first party’s favor.
I didn’t say that. You can do what you want. But if someone made you feel uncomfortable, you already feel uncomfortable. Should they not have made you feel uncomfortable? Yes. Is it fair? No.
What are you going to do about it? That’s the only question you get to answer.
For practical purposes, the onus should be on whoever has the ability to deal with it. If someone unknowingly does something you don’t like, and you want them to stop, telling them is say more useful to both of you, regardless of your views on “victim blaming”
That sounds like placing the onus for dealing with poor social skills onto the person who’s confronted with them, though, in a general sort of way.
If you’re dealing with a person with a person with poor social skills, the onus is already on you. You can try to help, or you can run away, or do a hundred other things, but you are already dealing with it.
I’d just like to suggest that using subtle social cues on the socially inept might not be terribly effective for accomplishing desired social outcomes with that person.
I’d just like to point out that “onus” is a horrible word, one that should automatically be marked with a red flag. It’s probably not doing you any favors here.
As a person with poor-to-middling social skills at the best of times: no, that’s silly and I reject it as a working premise for conflict resolution and group interaction.
Establishing a social norm that hey, some folks here might be autistic or poorly socialized or otherwise have some difficulties with the usual set of interactions is completely different from establishing a norm that whenever someone failing at some element of socialization, and thereby causing others to feel unsafe, pressured or disturbed, then those who’ve had the reaction are obligated to see the situation resolved to that first party’s favor.
I didn’t say that. You can do what you want. But if someone made you feel uncomfortable, you already feel uncomfortable. Should they not have made you feel uncomfortable? Yes. Is it fair? No.
What are you going to do about it? That’s the only question you get to answer.
You’re swinging rather wide of my point, here.
The point of my post was: you may have swung rather wide of mine.
For practical purposes, the onus should be on whoever has the ability to deal with it. If someone unknowingly does something you don’t like, and you want them to stop, telling them is say more useful to both of you, regardless of your views on “victim blaming”