I was at a party a while back where I made a somewhat sexual joke and the people in that conversation (probably more female than male, I can’t remember; my social scene is lopsided towards women) all laughed. A couple of minutes later, another guy made the same exact joke with a different group of people at the party and his reception was a lot less warm than mine (some people groaned).
I could only explain why this happened as a result of relative status in a social group. Status seems to determine who is “creepy” and who is “not creepy” even if they are using the same words. Of course I’m tall and in good shape while the other guy isn’t so much. So I think that factors into status as well; the first thing that people are going to do when trying to describe “non-creepy” behavior is imagine Brad Pitt or someone who they already are attracted to, and then proceed to describe their ideal encounter with this hypothetical attractive person.
If I may argue from anecdote for a bit:
I was at a party a while back where I made a somewhat sexual joke and the people in that conversation (probably more female than male, I can’t remember; my social scene is lopsided towards women) all laughed. A couple of minutes later, another guy made the same exact joke with a different group of people at the party and his reception was a lot less warm than mine (some people groaned).
I could only explain why this happened as a result of relative status in a social group. Status seems to determine who is “creepy” and who is “not creepy” even if they are using the same words. Of course I’m tall and in good shape while the other guy isn’t so much. So I think that factors into status as well; the first thing that people are going to do when trying to describe “non-creepy” behavior is imagine Brad Pitt or someone who they already are attracted to, and then proceed to describe their ideal encounter with this hypothetical attractive person.