I like those techniques and I’ve used variations of them myself in the past. They can definitely make the worry vanish if you hit the right note. I’m really after something more though. I’ve got this idea that the worries in the first place are the result of learned automatic emotional responses that can be unlearned. I’m not trying to force this idea on anyone but the desire to discuss this possibility is what motivated this post. If a particular worry is the result of a learned automatic emotional response and that response can be unlearned then they won’t have to do any of those things. Not that those aren’t good techniqes—they are.
I’ve got this idea that the worries in the first place are the result of learned automatic emotional responses that can be unlearned.
I share this idea. And I experience pretty significant insecurity and social anxiety (mingling makes me sweat bullets).
I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the techniques mentioned as not the “something more” you are looking for.
If the model for cultivating the “learned automatic emotional responses” that leads to worry involved years of subconcious, negative, irrational self-talk (e.g. “everyone is looking at me and thinks I’m overdressed and has concluded I’m a social moron! Ah!’), then I think it is at least plausible that the reciprocal—conscious, rational, postitive self-talk—may improve the situation over time and with substantial practice. The reality is most people don’t care to criticize us nearly as much as insecure people perceive they do… but it can take time to correct your perception once it has gone askew.
Is there a quick-fix/mind-hack? Maybe. Is it possible this is the sort of thing that requires patience and consistent effort to overcome? I think it is very possible.
I like those techniques and I’ve used variations of them myself in the past. They can definitely make the worry vanish if you hit the right note. I’m really after something more though. I’ve got this idea that the worries in the first place are the result of learned automatic emotional responses that can be unlearned. I’m not trying to force this idea on anyone but the desire to discuss this possibility is what motivated this post. If a particular worry is the result of a learned automatic emotional response and that response can be unlearned then they won’t have to do any of those things. Not that those aren’t good techniqes—they are.
I share this idea. And I experience pretty significant insecurity and social anxiety (mingling makes me sweat bullets).
I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the techniques mentioned as not the “something more” you are looking for.
If the model for cultivating the “learned automatic emotional responses” that leads to worry involved years of subconcious, negative, irrational self-talk (e.g. “everyone is looking at me and thinks I’m overdressed and has concluded I’m a social moron! Ah!’), then I think it is at least plausible that the reciprocal—conscious, rational, postitive self-talk—may improve the situation over time and with substantial practice. The reality is most people don’t care to criticize us nearly as much as insecure people perceive they do… but it can take time to correct your perception once it has gone askew.
Is there a quick-fix/mind-hack? Maybe. Is it possible this is the sort of thing that requires patience and consistent effort to overcome? I think it is very possible.