I don’t know if “chosen” is quite the right word… “stumbled into caring about”, or “conditioned into caring about” might be more accurate. There wasn’t a specific moment when I consciously decided to care about completing video games, it just sort of happened on its own, as a result of some ongoing process or other...
For various reasons, video games are a rather convenient, if useless, thing to care about… If you play them, I’m sure you know what I mean. I’d rather not care about something I fail at a lot...
I know exactly what you mean about computer games, I used to get addicted to them fairly easily and be able to play for 12-14 hours at a time. I’ve also been down that particular hole of “everything I do is pointless, I’m pointless, I’m trapped into remaining alive by the people around me”.
As to what to choose to care about, I haven’t got anything to suggest that I know will work.
My instinct is to suggest that you start caring about societally-approved things like exercise or taking care of your mother because you’re more likely to get external positive feedback that’ll help get you through the uncomfortable parts and give you a sense of accomplishment. Or if you have a camera, start a 365 project. If you don’t, start some other kind of creative project like writing or programming or whatever it is that you think you might find interesting.
But.. I don’t know if any of those suggestions are likely to help. You’ve been at this computer game thing for long enough that almost any other activity is going to look understimulating and difficult/uncomfortable in comparison. In my own situation I was helped along partly by a belief that I deserve to suffer, which meant that feeling uncomfortable often wasn’t a sufficient reason not to do something. I assume you don’t have that belief, which means you’ll need to find some other reason to keep going rather than thinking “oh well, failed again, time to distract myself with some more games”.
That could work. Any suggestions on what to pick?
I don’t know if “chosen” is quite the right word… “stumbled into caring about”, or “conditioned into caring about” might be more accurate. There wasn’t a specific moment when I consciously decided to care about completing video games, it just sort of happened on its own, as a result of some ongoing process or other...
For various reasons, video games are a rather convenient, if useless, thing to care about… If you play them, I’m sure you know what I mean. I’d rather not care about something I fail at a lot...
http://dirtsimple.org/2006/08/how-to-decide-what-you-want.html
2006 seems like a long time ago in Ebyworld, I don’t know if that still matches his current thoughts well.
I know exactly what you mean about computer games, I used to get addicted to them fairly easily and be able to play for 12-14 hours at a time. I’ve also been down that particular hole of “everything I do is pointless, I’m pointless, I’m trapped into remaining alive by the people around me”.
As to what to choose to care about, I haven’t got anything to suggest that I know will work. My instinct is to suggest that you start caring about societally-approved things like exercise or taking care of your mother because you’re more likely to get external positive feedback that’ll help get you through the uncomfortable parts and give you a sense of accomplishment. Or if you have a camera, start a 365 project. If you don’t, start some other kind of creative project like writing or programming or whatever it is that you think you might find interesting. But.. I don’t know if any of those suggestions are likely to help. You’ve been at this computer game thing for long enough that almost any other activity is going to look understimulating and difficult/uncomfortable in comparison. In my own situation I was helped along partly by a belief that I deserve to suffer, which meant that feeling uncomfortable often wasn’t a sufficient reason not to do something. I assume you don’t have that belief, which means you’ll need to find some other reason to keep going rather than thinking “oh well, failed again, time to distract myself with some more games”.