Request: A friend of mine would like to get better at breaking down big vague goals into more actionable subgoals, preferably in a work/programming context. Does anyone know where I could find a source of practice problems and/or help generate some scenarios to practice on? Alternatively, any ideas on a better way to train that skill?
erratio
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I seem to have gotten a lot better lately at getting things done, so here’s my attempt at breaking it down.
Consistency effects from being responsible for other people/groups: +8, 6 months or so. I am responsible for membership admittance of a private group on Habitica (see below), for reminding a friend to take their meds, and for helping other friends debug their productivity. The overall effect is that a) I get practice at productivity techniques, b) It primes me to be a productive person.
Habitica (formerly known as HabitRPG): +4, on and off for 3 years. I’m a member of an active party in this gamification of productivity, which means that if I don’t do my dailies, my teammates take damage. Being responsible for membership of a private group means I have to log on regularly anyway, so I might as well use the system. And the combination of daily and to-do lists is good enough for me to track all my tasks and make sure I stay on track (one of my daily tasks is to do at least 1 to-do item).
Working from home: +3, 10 months. This might come across as counterintuitive, but when I started working from home I floundered around for the first few months, and then money became an issue and I got better at consistently putting in the work. I’m still not perfect (witness me here instead of working), but I feel like I’ve improved my ability to get things done in less structured environments and with little to no oversight.
Pomodoros: 0, on and off for the last 3 years. I still find them useful occasionally when I’m having major issues getting started on something, but the enforced on/off pattern drives me bonkers. If I’m not getting into the task, 25 minutes on feels like an eternity and 5 minutes off feels much too short of a break. If I am getting into the task, I’ll just ignore it altogether. Giving them a zero because I feel like the pros and cons cancel out.
Asking people to tell me to work: +1. Another way to convince myself to get started when I just don’t wanna, by utilizing peer pressure.
I would like to do this in either Australia or Canada
I come here probably a few times a week, almost entirely just for reading or clicking through on particularly interesting links. I always use a desktop.
Would I be able to tap the LW academic network to get a copy of this paper?
Extreme gratitude in advance.
2 weeks ago I realised my current job is making me miserable. I’ve now started doing something about it and have a trial period of a few hours this weekend for a new job.
The forementioned misery was getting projected onto my boyfriend in the form of finding some of his less awesome behaviours incredibly annoying. I eventually realised that I was projecting and had a chat with him involving an apology and a discussion about what the underlying issues are and what we could potentially both do better in the future.
A friend and I have become accountability buddies in the sense of sharing our lists of goals and asking about their progress every now and then.
Have been trying to do the homework set by my therapist, although it’s tough going (which of course is the reason it’s such a major ugh field in the first place)
I’m in Eastern Standard Time in North America and have done a ton of volunteer hours at www.7cupsoftea.com, a peer counselling service. I’m very confident in my ability to be a good active listener to other intelligent people as a result of my training there, as well as having access to a lot of techniques from DBT and CBT. Not sure about cost, but for now I assume I have the ability to do it for free. Message me here on LW or at j.runds at gmail
I found a job. A crappy, low-paying job, but one which will improve my interacting-with-random-people skills and which will give me the financial security to work on my other skills
I finally finished all the work to leave grad school with an MA, and am officially graduated in just over a week’s time.
I am getting a visa so that I’ll be able to move to my boyfriend’s country and move in with him. If you’re in doubt about how awesome that is, you should see the mountain of bureaucracy I’ve had to deal with...
Yes. This was done with her blessing and oversight.
I tried reducing my dose of antidepressant, and discovered that it is doing a lot of work in helping me regulate my emotions and not feel pointlessly terrible all the time.
My experience is exactly the same as yours. I’m slowly training myself to be able to tolerate alcohol that’s slightly less sweet/more concentrated, but it’s very slow going.
I am of the opinion that most friends could stand to use each other a lot more than they currently do. But it takes a particular kind of friend to be able to say that explicitly without offending them :p
For me, the enjoyment of getting to do things my way and having other people look up to me is outweighed by the stress of being responsible for getting it right, for all but the very smallest groups
Using my boyfriend as a combination Pomodoro, task log, and accountability device is still proving to be quite useful. It helps that he’s extremely willing and happy to be used that way :D
I went to another country to meet my long-distance boyfriend for the first time. We spent an awesome weekend together affirming our relationship and making plans for the next time we’re together
Congratulations, if you can’t easily discern the difference between romantic and platonic love then you may be aromantic or demiromantic!
Unfortunately, as one of those myself, I can’t shed much light on the difference despite currently being in a romantic relationship. But you might start off looking at those terms and various forums for asexual/aromantic types to get a better handle of where the applicable lines are
I have outsourced some of my motivation to my boyfriend, in the form of asking him to put me to work when I want to work but find myself unable to prevent myself procrastinating. It’s surprisingly effective so far. (Note: still in honeymoon period of intervention, do not take as gospel)
Existential angst and worrying a ton about your obligation to society and so forth almost always turns out to be a projection of your worries about yourself onto society at large. You’re not really worried about some abstract duty or obligation, instead you have a low opinion of your own competency/worthiness and are worried that other people will come to share that view if you’re not able to measure up to some abstract standard,
A related phenomenon: going to therapy versus going through a workbook on say, CBT, that teaches you all the theory and techniques. If you can self-hack from the workbook, all power to you, but a large portion of people need the accountability and the feedback from sitting in a room with another person going through workbook-type things together.