FWIW, I’ve lived with people whose actual preferred level of mess-to-live-in was different.
That is, it wasn’t that everyone agreed that X level of neatness was better but some people didn’t feel like doing the work, it was that person A wanted X level of neatness and was uncomfortable at Y level, and person B wanted Y level of neatness and was uncomfortable at X level.
At least, that’s how it seemed to me. I suppose if I started out with a stronger prior in favor of the people-prefer-X-level-of-neatness theory, I might find it more plausible that B was either signaling dishonestly or genuinely unaware of their own preferences. (The latter was A’s theory about B, expressed as “If they just live in a neat house for a while they’ll see how much better it is!”)
That said, both X and Y were noticeably cleaner than the scavenging-arthropods stage.
person A wanted X level of neatness and was uncomfortable at Y level,
and person B wanted Y level of neatness and was uncomfortable at X level.
I’ve had a similar experience of somebody wanting a (small) amount of mess. The explanation was that if a house didn’t look ‘lived it’ it wasn’t really home, and therefore not a conformable place to live.
I actually am such a person, if anyone wants to ask relevant questions. I grew up in a very messy house—my father didn’t care, and my mother was disabled enough to have trouble keeping on top of things—and I find living-places that are too clean to be anxiety-inducing.
I expect my best friend’s son (now 6 months old) may grow up this way. They live with her mother-in-law and I have never in my life seen so much stuff in one house. The overall impression is of abundance rather than clutter, but there’s still a lot of clutter. It’s the kind of house where a student like me goes empty handed and leaves with a bag full of food and old clothes to try on and extra Tupperwares.
I have lived with people whose natural level of cleanliness is (a) comparable to mine (b) nevertheless rather awful when I look at it slightly afresh (c) we both realise this (d) we have some difficulty acting on it anyway.
Share houses are a good reason to become a terminal misanthrope, at least for a while.
FWIW, I’ve lived with people whose actual preferred level of mess-to-live-in was different.
That is, it wasn’t that everyone agreed that X level of neatness was better but some people didn’t feel like doing the work, it was that person A wanted X level of neatness and was uncomfortable at Y level, and person B wanted Y level of neatness and was uncomfortable at X level.
At least, that’s how it seemed to me. I suppose if I started out with a stronger prior in favor of the people-prefer-X-level-of-neatness theory, I might find it more plausible that B was either signaling dishonestly or genuinely unaware of their own preferences. (The latter was A’s theory about B, expressed as “If they just live in a neat house for a while they’ll see how much better it is!”)
That said, both X and Y were noticeably cleaner than the scavenging-arthropods stage.
I’ve had a similar experience of somebody wanting a (small) amount of mess. The explanation was that if a house didn’t look ‘lived it’ it wasn’t really home, and therefore not a conformable place to live.
I actually am such a person, if anyone wants to ask relevant questions. I grew up in a very messy house—my father didn’t care, and my mother was disabled enough to have trouble keeping on top of things—and I find living-places that are too clean to be anxiety-inducing.
I expect my best friend’s son (now 6 months old) may grow up this way. They live with her mother-in-law and I have never in my life seen so much stuff in one house. The overall impression is of abundance rather than clutter, but there’s still a lot of clutter. It’s the kind of house where a student like me goes empty handed and leaves with a bag full of food and old clothes to try on and extra Tupperwares.
I have lived with people whose natural level of cleanliness is (a) comparable to mine (b) nevertheless rather awful when I look at it slightly afresh (c) we both realise this (d) we have some difficulty acting on it anyway.
Share houses are a good reason to become a terminal misanthrope, at least for a while.
Well, yes… there’s that, too. There are reasons I don’t live that way anymore.