No, I’m not hung up on the difference between “confidence” and ‘lack of nervousness’.
In focusing on the difference in what the man can do versus what the woman can do to fix the situation.
Makes sense, but I can’t imagine how being sure about how to dance Salsa would help people in the bedroom.
In most cases there’s physical interaction before being in the bedroom.
Holding hands would be one example. It’s not something that platonic friends usually do.
If a guy tries to transition from not holding hands to holding hands he could be nervous about it.
The kind of body contact that happens during dancing would condition the person to be less nervous about holding hands.
Holding hands is an example. I’m not saying that it happens in every interaction, but usually their physical contact between a guy and girl that exceeds the normal contact of a platonic friendship before the two go to the bedroom.
In focusing on the difference in what the man can do versus what the woman can do to fix the situation.
Er… Why? You realize that the man and the woman can communicate with each other, and thence ‘trade’ (in a LWesque general abstract sense)? If it would take months for me to achieve something but minutes for her to achieve the same, it’d be most daft for us to do the former. (And it feels off to call what you mentioned in the other thread ‘something the woman can do’—it’s not like the man isn’t playing any role; it sounds as weird to me as calling walking ‘something my legs can do’ rather than ‘something I can do’.)
Holding hands would be one example. It’s not something that platonic friends usually do.
It depends on gender and culture. For example, physical contact tends to be closer among females or between females and males than among males, closer in warm countries than in cold countries, and closer among left-wingers than among right-wingers. (I grew up mostly hanging around with left-leaning Italian females, and as a result I occasionally would come across as touchy when interacting with right-wingers, males, or northern Europeans.)
If a guy tries to transition from not holding hands to holding hands he could be nervous about it. The kind of body contact that happens during dancing would condition the person to be less nervous about holding hands.
Yes it would, but if someone gets nervous at the thought of even just holding hands with someone else (other than due to epistemic uncertainty about whether the latter would like it etc.), then I guess that what the former mainly needs isn’t a Salsa instructor, it’s a psychologist.
I’m not saying that it happens in every interaction, but usually their physical contact between a guy and girl that exceeds the normal contact of a platonic friendship before the two go to the bedroom.
Sure it does, but AFAIK it’s not like dancing classes teach how to make out, either.
I grew up mostly hanging around with left-leaning Italian females, and as a result I occasionally would come across as touchy when interacting with right-wingers, males, or northern Europeans.
In that case you might not that profit much from become more touchy.
You might still profit from improving your dancing abilites as you dance frequently. Salsa might not be optimal here. Salsa has the issue that there a pause on 4 and 8, which isn’t easy to lead. Merengue and Bachata moves are easier to throw into the kind of dancing you do in the video you showed.
Er… Why? You realize that the man and the woman can communicate with each other, and thence ‘trade’ (in a LWesque general abstract sense)?
Framing a romantic interaction as a trade, cheapens the romantic interaction for a lot of people.
If you try to handle your relationship with a woman on an abstract level instead of handling it on a emotional level that significantly decreases your pool of potential mates.
Making a trade on an abstract level doesn’t make anyone feel horny.
A woman cares about how the interaction with you makes her feel. If all your interaction is on an abstract level she likely won’t feel the kind of emotions that she thinks are a requisite to starting a relationship with you.
I’m not against open communication but you should always understand what you are communicating. Communicating your desires in a way that isn’t needy is not something that easy.
Actually these days I usually only dance once or twice a week, and sometimes even less than that.
If you try to handle your relationship with a woman on an abstract level instead of handling it on a emotional level
That’s not what I meant. I meant ‘trade’ as in, the partners jointly trying to fulfil each other’s wishes, rather than each one only thinking about themself. That doesn’t require suppressing emotions.
that significantly decreases your pool of potential mates.
So what? We’re talking about long-term relationships, not hooking up with as many distinct people as possible. See the “Mean and Variance” section of this.
A woman cares about how the interaction with you makes her feel.
You don’t say?
If all your interaction is on an abstract level she likely won’t feel the kind of emotions that she thinks are a requisite to starting a relationship with you.
If something makes us both happy, why should we give a damn how likely anyone else would be to like it? It’s not like there are sex auditors watching us or anything.
I’m not against open communication but you should always understand what you are communicating. Communicating your desires in a way that isn’t needy is not something that easy.
It also depends on who the listener is. My new girlfriend and I don’t seem to be having much trouble with that so far.
No, I’m not hung up on the difference between “confidence” and ‘lack of nervousness’.
In focusing on the difference in what the man can do versus what the woman can do to fix the situation.
In most cases there’s physical interaction before being in the bedroom.
Holding hands would be one example. It’s not something that platonic friends usually do. If a guy tries to transition from not holding hands to holding hands he could be nervous about it.
The kind of body contact that happens during dancing would condition the person to be less nervous about holding hands.
Holding hands is an example. I’m not saying that it happens in every interaction, but usually their physical contact between a guy and girl that exceeds the normal contact of a platonic friendship before the two go to the bedroom.
Er… Why? You realize that the man and the woman can communicate with each other, and thence ‘trade’ (in a LWesque general abstract sense)? If it would take months for me to achieve something but minutes for her to achieve the same, it’d be most daft for us to do the former. (And it feels off to call what you mentioned in the other thread ‘something the woman can do’—it’s not like the man isn’t playing any role; it sounds as weird to me as calling walking ‘something my legs can do’ rather than ‘something I can do’.)
It depends on gender and culture. For example, physical contact tends to be closer among females or between females and males than among males, closer in warm countries than in cold countries, and closer among left-wingers than among right-wingers. (I grew up mostly hanging around with left-leaning Italian females, and as a result I occasionally would come across as touchy when interacting with right-wingers, males, or northern Europeans.)Yes it would, but if someone gets nervous at the thought of even just holding hands with someone else (other than due to epistemic uncertainty about whether the latter would like it etc.), then I guess that what the former mainly needs isn’t a Salsa instructor, it’s a psychologist.
Sure it does, but AFAIK it’s not like dancing classes teach how to make out, either.
In that case you might not that profit much from become more touchy.
You might still profit from improving your dancing abilites as you dance frequently. Salsa might not be optimal here. Salsa has the issue that there a pause on 4 and 8, which isn’t easy to lead. Merengue and Bachata moves are easier to throw into the kind of dancing you do in the video you showed.
Framing a romantic interaction as a trade, cheapens the romantic interaction for a lot of people. If you try to handle your relationship with a woman on an abstract level instead of handling it on a emotional level that significantly decreases your pool of potential mates.
Making a trade on an abstract level doesn’t make anyone feel horny.
A woman cares about how the interaction with you makes her feel. If all your interaction is on an abstract level she likely won’t feel the kind of emotions that she thinks are a requisite to starting a relationship with you.
I’m not against open communication but you should always understand what you are communicating. Communicating your desires in a way that isn’t needy is not something that easy.
Actually these days I usually only dance once or twice a week, and sometimes even less than that.
That’s not what I meant. I meant ‘trade’ as in, the partners jointly trying to fulfil each other’s wishes, rather than each one only thinking about themself. That doesn’t require suppressing emotions.
So what? We’re talking about long-term relationships, not hooking up with as many distinct people as possible. See the “Mean and Variance” section of this.
You don’t say?
If something makes us both happy, why should we give a damn how likely anyone else would be to like it? It’s not like there are sex auditors watching us or anything.
It also depends on who the listener is. My new girlfriend and I don’t seem to be having much trouble with that so far.