This this this. I’ve spent quite some time watching with amused detachment as several of my female friends bluster around this type of interaction without ever really understanding. My advice that “hey, acquiring sexual partners is really not hard if that’s what you want” generally goes unheeded, but those who do “get it” end up being shocked as how easy things really are.
I’ve had the same experience with ‘geeky’ males (including myself) at college entry age. They discover its actually not especially hard to have casual sex once they get over the mental block at the idea of people finding them attractive (which seems quite common). Although ‘serious’ relationships seem more difficult and/or less learnable.
A lot of people say that it’s easy. They never say how to do it. It’s like they thought just saying “It’s easy” constituted a viable explanation of the method.
Also, I’m not really interested in casual sex, so if you’re right that serious relationships are much harder, that’s a problem.
Very brief reply:* It’s described as easy because you can learn it via observation and/or experimentation. Very basically you chat friendlily and escalate physical contact. A lot of this is context dependent, university students at clubs are probably far more interested in sex than random members of the population.
What are your specific issues? For a non-creepy guide try Clarisse Thorn’s “Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser”
*I’m travelling at the moment so can’t come up with a detailed response.
I guess I do have that mental block of not feeling attractive. At least, it may be a mental block; but how would I know if I’m just… not actually attractive? (This is a problem for me. I want hard data and I don’t see how to get it. Social norms explicitly forbid anyone telling you that you are ugly, even if you are.)
If it is a delusion, where does it come from? And how does one get rid of it?
This this this. I’ve spent quite some time watching with amused detachment as several of my female friends bluster around this type of interaction without ever really understanding. My advice that “hey, acquiring sexual partners is really not hard if that’s what you want” generally goes unheeded, but those who do “get it” end up being shocked as how easy things really are.
I’ve had the same experience with ‘geeky’ males (including myself) at college entry age. They discover its actually not especially hard to have casual sex once they get over the mental block at the idea of people finding them attractive (which seems quite common). Although ‘serious’ relationships seem more difficult and/or less learnable.
A lot of people say that it’s easy. They never say how to do it. It’s like they thought just saying “It’s easy” constituted a viable explanation of the method.
Also, I’m not really interested in casual sex, so if you’re right that serious relationships are much harder, that’s a problem.
Very brief reply:* It’s described as easy because you can learn it via observation and/or experimentation. Very basically you chat friendlily and escalate physical contact. A lot of this is context dependent, university students at clubs are probably far more interested in sex than random members of the population.
What are your specific issues? For a non-creepy guide try Clarisse Thorn’s “Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser”
*I’m travelling at the moment so can’t come up with a detailed response.
I guess I do have that mental block of not feeling attractive. At least, it may be a mental block; but how would I know if I’m just… not actually attractive? (This is a problem for me. I want hard data and I don’t see how to get it. Social norms explicitly forbid anyone telling you that you are ugly, even if you are.)
If it is a delusion, where does it come from? And how does one get rid of it?