Other people—especially women—love me when I’m a cocky arrogant megalomaniac.
Maybe it just divides people? Average behaviour doesn’t move the liking scale. Cocky arrogant megalomaniac behaviour makes the liking scale swing positive in some people, negative in others. And since you’re in a cocky, arrogant mode, you only notice those who like you.
The airplane example illustrates it, too. I bet a good share of passengers thought, ‘what ****er is delaying the airplane now?’, whereas another share smiled about Gates’ nerve.
If you get things done by making enemies, in the end you don’t get much (good) done. Cf. many of the people you listed.
I think the core thesis of your comment is dead-on. Variance could explain all of my observed effects. If people label you unimportant by default then increasing variance is a good way to make friends amidst a large population.
As for enemies…
You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
I agree, it’s hard to avoid making enemies. Even harmony-seeking people annoy others who have little interest in harmony. (I’m not talking about anything Confucian here.) Then again, it’s better to make enemies with discretion, and not use it as an excuse for bad behaviour.
Maybe it just divides people? Average behaviour doesn’t move the liking scale. Cocky arrogant megalomaniac behaviour makes the liking scale swing positive in some people, negative in others. And since you’re in a cocky, arrogant mode, you only notice those who like you.
The airplane example illustrates it, too. I bet a good share of passengers thought, ‘what ****er is delaying the airplane now?’, whereas another share smiled about Gates’ nerve.
If you get things done by making enemies, in the end you don’t get much (good) done. Cf. many of the people you listed.
I think the core thesis of your comment is dead-on. Variance could explain all of my observed effects. If people label you unimportant by default then increasing variance is a good way to make friends amidst a large population.
As for enemies…
I agree, it’s hard to avoid making enemies. Even harmony-seeking people annoy others who have little interest in harmony. (I’m not talking about anything Confucian here.) Then again, it’s better to make enemies with discretion, and not use it as an excuse for bad behaviour.