I think the core thesis of your comment is dead-on. Variance could explain all of my observed effects. If people label you unimportant by default then increasing variance is a good way to make friends amidst a large population.
As for enemies…
You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
I agree, it’s hard to avoid making enemies. Even harmony-seeking people annoy others who have little interest in harmony. (I’m not talking about anything Confucian here.) Then again, it’s better to make enemies with discretion, and not use it as an excuse for bad behaviour.
I think the core thesis of your comment is dead-on. Variance could explain all of my observed effects. If people label you unimportant by default then increasing variance is a good way to make friends amidst a large population.
As for enemies…
I agree, it’s hard to avoid making enemies. Even harmony-seeking people annoy others who have little interest in harmony. (I’m not talking about anything Confucian here.) Then again, it’s better to make enemies with discretion, and not use it as an excuse for bad behaviour.