This month (and a half), I dropped out of community college, raised money as investment in what I’ll do in the future, moved to Berkeley, got very involved in the rationalist community here, smashed a bunch of impostor syndrome, wrote a bunch of code, got into several extremely promising and potentially impactful projects, read several MIRI papers and kept being urged to involve myself with their research further.
I know a few people with varying forms of Imposter syndrome. I have never felt the similar experience and would like to bridge the gap of understanding, and see if I can pull some advice out of your experience. Can you explain more?
For me, when I had it (I have since crawled out and am merely underconfident, scared, etc), the feeling is “I am secretly not nearly* as good as people think I should be and therefore as people think I am because they don’t look closely and if they did then they’d find out so wow I hope they don’t look closely good thing people are usually content with surface thought hahaha but really oh god”.
Impostor syndrome is where you feel you don’t really deserve your success, that you just lucked into it and that any moment now, people will realize this and you’ll be exposed as a fraud. Here is a nice article about it, with a great graph.
I know what it is and what it should feel like, but when talking with people who have it I have felt like I can’t properly relate or suggest solutions to help carry them away from a distraction or limiting identity. Do you have experience escaping feeling like an imposter?
I don’t have it that bad, but the graph in that article certainly resonates with me. I don’t feel like an impostor, exactly, but I do tend to feel like “I’m nothing special, everyone knows/can do that”.
Looking at that graph helps a lot, because it reminds me that no, not everyone has the knowledge/experience to be a good translator, to take myself as an example. It also helps to make a list of the component parts of what you do. For example, as a software translator, I have a near-native command of English, an excellent command of my own language, experience with all kinds of tools, knowledge of how to get the most out of the (often lacking) context, I’ve done a little programming and work with HTML; very little, but it really helps me determine what parts of a syntax example are translatable.… I could probably add more items with a little thought.
Another thing that helps is comparing myself with others. They always say you shouldn’t do that, but lately I have been editing the work of other translators, and when I see the mistakes they make sometimes, I can’t help feeling that I mustn’t be that bad after all.
Another thing I’ve just recently read about and haven’t had occasion to act on yet, is to save any positive feedback you get. Save any letters, e-mails etc. where someone compliments you. Those can also help in your next performance review. Maybe write down oral compliments somewhere, too.
And remember the saying: “Everyone is ignorant, only in different subjects”.
That’s a pretty large question. I’d love to, but I’m not sure where to start. I’ll describe my experience in broad strokes to start.
Whenever I do anything, I quickly acclimate to it. It’s very difficult to remember that things I know how to do aren’t trivial for other people. It’s way more complex than that… but I’ve been sitting on this text box for a few hours. So, ask a more detailed question?
What did you mean at first when you described “smashed a bunch of imposter syndrome”?
I have suggested to a friend that the feelings they were experiencing were a vein of imposter syndrome and the response I received was along the lines of, “I can’t have imposter syndrome, in order to have imposter syndrome I would have to have done something worthwhile compared to others”. Of course it comes from a person with Honours in Psychology and a concert pianist.
I just have a really big ego and can’t relate. I am no imposter because I don’t work like that. If I was in a room where I felt I was an imposter I would actually be an imposter—hanging out to gather all the secret-room insider-information I was trying to gather.
Can you describe the things that changed your imposter syndrome from “screaming at me about how I am not good enough” to “background noisy noise about things”.
This month (and a half), I dropped out of community college, raised money as investment in what I’ll do in the future, moved to Berkeley, got very involved in the rationalist community here, smashed a bunch of impostor syndrome, wrote a bunch of code, got into several extremely promising and potentially impactful projects, read several MIRI papers and kept being urged to involve myself with their research further.
I took several levels of agency.
I know a few people with varying forms of Imposter syndrome. I have never felt the similar experience and would like to bridge the gap of understanding, and see if I can pull some advice out of your experience. Can you explain more?
For me, when I had it (I have since crawled out and am merely underconfident, scared, etc), the feeling is “I am secretly not nearly* as good as people think I should be and therefore as people think I am because they don’t look closely and if they did then they’d find out so wow I hope they don’t look closely good thing people are usually content with surface thought hahaha but really oh god”.
*understatement
This makes sense. And growing to overcome these feelings? Have you done anything specifically? or did it shift over time?
Some things I did during recovery which feel related, though I make no hard claims:
regular talk therapy including about those issues
be completely genuine with at least one person
change employers
mentor an intern
work with a team who were all selected to be both high-functioning and low-ego
learn about imposter syndrome
accept that I was depressed to the point that I lost a number of years of experience (“explain away” a certain portion of the feeling as genuine)
work with an individual who I felt was competent but who I was distinctly more competent than in select areas
complete a substantial at-home coding project
It is entirely possible that recovery was simply regression to the mean. I do not know.
Impostor syndrome is where you feel you don’t really deserve your success, that you just lucked into it and that any moment now, people will realize this and you’ll be exposed as a fraud. Here is a nice article about it, with a great graph.
I know what it is and what it should feel like, but when talking with people who have it I have felt like I can’t properly relate or suggest solutions to help carry them away from a distraction or limiting identity. Do you have experience escaping feeling like an imposter?
I don’t have it that bad, but the graph in that article certainly resonates with me. I don’t feel like an impostor, exactly, but I do tend to feel like “I’m nothing special, everyone knows/can do that”.
Looking at that graph helps a lot, because it reminds me that no, not everyone has the knowledge/experience to be a good translator, to take myself as an example. It also helps to make a list of the component parts of what you do. For example, as a software translator, I have a near-native command of English, an excellent command of my own language, experience with all kinds of tools, knowledge of how to get the most out of the (often lacking) context, I’ve done a little programming and work with HTML; very little, but it really helps me determine what parts of a syntax example are translatable.… I could probably add more items with a little thought.
Another thing that helps is comparing myself with others. They always say you shouldn’t do that, but lately I have been editing the work of other translators, and when I see the mistakes they make sometimes, I can’t help feeling that I mustn’t be that bad after all.
Another thing I’ve just recently read about and haven’t had occasion to act on yet, is to save any positive feedback you get. Save any letters, e-mails etc. where someone compliments you. Those can also help in your next performance review. Maybe write down oral compliments somewhere, too.
And remember the saying: “Everyone is ignorant, only in different subjects”.
That’s a pretty large question. I’d love to, but I’m not sure where to start. I’ll describe my experience in broad strokes to start.
Whenever I do anything, I quickly acclimate to it. It’s very difficult to remember that things I know how to do aren’t trivial for other people. It’s way more complex than that… but I’ve been sitting on this text box for a few hours. So, ask a more detailed question?
What did you mean at first when you described “smashed a bunch of imposter syndrome”?
I have suggested to a friend that the feelings they were experiencing were a vein of imposter syndrome and the response I received was along the lines of, “I can’t have imposter syndrome, in order to have imposter syndrome I would have to have done something worthwhile compared to others”. Of course it comes from a person with Honours in Psychology and a concert pianist.
I just have a really big ego and can’t relate. I am no imposter because I don’t work like that. If I was in a room where I felt I was an imposter I would actually be an imposter—hanging out to gather all the secret-room insider-information I was trying to gather.
Can you describe the things that changed your imposter syndrome from “screaming at me about how I am not good enough” to “background noisy noise about things”.
Details man! What code did you write? What projects are you involved in? What did you raise money for?
Wow!