For me, when I had it (I have since crawled out and am merely underconfident, scared, etc), the feeling is “I am secretly not nearly* as good as people think I should be and therefore as people think I am because they don’t look closely and if they did then they’d find out so wow I hope they don’t look closely good thing people are usually content with surface thought hahaha but really oh god”.
For me, when I had it (I have since crawled out and am merely underconfident, scared, etc), the feeling is “I am secretly not nearly* as good as people think I should be and therefore as people think I am because they don’t look closely and if they did then they’d find out so wow I hope they don’t look closely good thing people are usually content with surface thought hahaha but really oh god”.
*understatement
This makes sense. And growing to overcome these feelings? Have you done anything specifically? or did it shift over time?
Some things I did during recovery which feel related, though I make no hard claims:
regular talk therapy including about those issues
be completely genuine with at least one person
change employers
mentor an intern
work with a team who were all selected to be both high-functioning and low-ego
learn about imposter syndrome
accept that I was depressed to the point that I lost a number of years of experience (“explain away” a certain portion of the feeling as genuine)
work with an individual who I felt was competent but who I was distinctly more competent than in select areas
complete a substantial at-home coding project
It is entirely possible that recovery was simply regression to the mean. I do not know.