I don’t try to convert theists to atheism, and I don’t have trouble with “reasonable” theists. If we get into a discussion of religion, then I explain what I do (and don’t) believe and why, and they come away with a better understanding of atheism (or at least of me).
It also helps that I’m familiar with a variety of religions (not just Christianity, but different types of Christianity, as well as non-Christian religions of course), so I can get a good idea of where they’re coming from. But it’s important not to presume, or even to let them think that you’re presuming, too much.
It’s certainly a good idea to frame it subjectively: that’s one way of bypassing knee-jerk defenses. Not “Your religion is useless because of X, W, Z” but “I have stopped believing in my religion because of X, Y, Z”. It’s certainly more sympathetic, and actually carries the exact same arguments, more sympathetically and without the added “and you must think like me on this, there is no other way to think of the world consistently”, which, while I believe is objectively true, is seen as subjective by the other party, and a subjective statement that claims to be objective is arrogant and annoying.
I don’t try to convert theists to atheism, and I don’t have trouble with “reasonable” theists. If we get into a discussion of religion, then I explain what I do (and don’t) believe and why, and they come away with a better understanding of atheism (or at least of me).
It also helps that I’m familiar with a variety of religions (not just Christianity, but different types of Christianity, as well as non-Christian religions of course), so I can get a good idea of where they’re coming from. But it’s important not to presume, or even to let them think that you’re presuming, too much.
It’s certainly a good idea to frame it subjectively: that’s one way of bypassing knee-jerk defenses. Not “Your religion is useless because of X, W, Z” but “I have stopped believing in my religion because of X, Y, Z”. It’s certainly more sympathetic, and actually carries the exact same arguments, more sympathetically and without the added “and you must think like me on this, there is no other way to think of the world consistently”, which, while I believe is objectively true, is seen as subjective by the other party, and a subjective statement that claims to be objective is arrogant and annoying.