We’ve covered extraversion and openness, but the lucky people Dr. Wiseman interviewed were also more relaxed and less neurotic than the unlucky ones. This has obvious consequences for when you are trying to meet new people, but research also hints that being less anxious may make you more likely to notice things you aren’t specifically looking for. This is probably why several of Dr. Wiseman’s lucky participants remarked on how often they found money on the street, found great opportunities while listening to the radio or reading the newspaper, and in general stumbled over opportunities in places where other people simply failed to notice them.
So, what is the actual process of decreasing your neuroticism? And is this process something that highly neurotic people can perform safely?
(Example: most drugs that reduce neuroticism tend to be illegal, and when a neurotic person performs an illegal act, they’re more likely to get caught at it because they “act suspicious”.)
(Also, random anecdote on luck: I typically notice dollar bills on the street; however, the last two times I picked up a dollar bill on the street, the following things happened:
Incident 1. Someone accused me of trying to steal it, since someone nearby must have obviously dropped it and how DARE I claim it for myself.
Incident 2: The dollar bill had been carefully laid on the ground, folded up, with diarrhea smeared inside the fold.
I’m STILL not sure what rational lesson to learn from these incidents.)
So, what is the actual process of decreasing your neuroticism? And is this process something that highly neurotic people can perform safely?
As someone who definitely considers himself neurotic at times, I have found the following methods worked some for me:
1: Talking to a therapist, and taking their advice. For example someone I had talked to said If I was worrying about something in the middle of the night, write my worries about it down, (regardless of whether they were coherent or not) and then try to go back to sleep. I found this worked.
2: Ask your doctor for a prescription for LEGAL Anti-Anxiety Medications. I’m on 40 mg Citalopram This works some as well.
In retrospect, I’m not entirely sure which of these might be the stronger one. It probably varies some from person to person anyway.
There’s also generally talking to supportive people like spouse, parent, etc, but not everyone has a supportive person to talk to.
Meditation seems to be moderately effective at reducing neuroticism. There is a meta-analysis here that summarizes a lot of relevant data on the effect of meditation on various categories, including neuroticism. They show a greater effect size for Transcendental Meditation vs. mindfulness and other forms of meditation.
...I’m not sure what kind of metaphor I’d be making, here. I am now genuinely curious what kinds of non-literal interpretations there are for “the dollar bill had been carefully laid on the ground, folded up, with diarrhea smeared inside the fold.”
The most popular anti-anxiety drug (alcohol) is legal in most places.
If you don’t like alcohol, there’s another legal drug which doesn’t have the same anti-anxiety effects, but in many places comes with a ready made social network. That drug is tobacco, in places where indoor smoking is banned. The ban helps strengthen the feeling of community. Many tobacco users claim this group membership is the main reason they smoke.
The risks of smoking tobacco probably exceed the social benefits. Nicotine itself, vaporized in an e-cigarette, is much safer. Long running propaganda campaigns have made people conflate tobacco with nicotine, so if you’re seen as a nicotine user, and don’t make any negative comments about tobacco smoking, you are likely to be accepted as part of the tobacco smokers group. Most smokers will assume you are an ex-smoker who switched. If you stand upwind smoke exposure will be minimal.
Even if you don’t like nicotine this is a workable strategy. You can use 0 nicotine liquid and it will be indistinguishable to others unless they try it. If you’re worried that somebody might want to try it and it would be awkward to refuse, it’s still possible to minimize nicotine exposure. You can suck the vapor into your mouth rather than into the lungs, where it is absorbed rather slowly. You can blow it out before you’ve absorbed much. It’s very difficult to see the difference between mouth and lung inhalation, so this won’t look odd to tobacco smokers. The fact that you’re wasting so much vapor will only make it look more impressive.
You can use an e-cigarrete with a detachable tip and carry spare tips to avoid risk of spreading disease when sharing. Carrying a lighter will also have social benefits as smokers often misplace them and sharing yours will help strengthen group membership.
The most popular anti-anxiety drug (alcohol) is legal in most places.
Caution—mild scientific evidence for anxiety increasing effects in the long run, moderate scientific evidence that the anxious are more susceptible to dependency for this substance, not to mention that alcohol + neuroticism has an anecdotal reputation as a failure mode.
It feels like the boring / obvious thing to say, but I think it’s worth mentioning.
Failure mode: my mother smoked excessively when I was a child, which contributed to either a built-up sensitivity to nicotine, or a psychosomatic perception of the same. Either way, nicotine is non-viable.
Also, alcohol actually makes me MORE neurotic, not less, because I’m constantly reminding myself that I’m drunk, and therefore likely to do something dumb.
So, what is the actual process of decreasing your neuroticism? And is this process something that highly neurotic people can perform safely?
(Example: most drugs that reduce neuroticism tend to be illegal, and when a neurotic person performs an illegal act, they’re more likely to get caught at it because they “act suspicious”.)
(Also, random anecdote on luck: I typically notice dollar bills on the street; however, the last two times I picked up a dollar bill on the street, the following things happened:
Incident 1. Someone accused me of trying to steal it, since someone nearby must have obviously dropped it and how DARE I claim it for myself.
Incident 2: The dollar bill had been carefully laid on the ground, folded up, with diarrhea smeared inside the fold.
I’m STILL not sure what rational lesson to learn from these incidents.)
As someone who definitely considers himself neurotic at times, I have found the following methods worked some for me:
1: Talking to a therapist, and taking their advice. For example someone I had talked to said If I was worrying about something in the middle of the night, write my worries about it down, (regardless of whether they were coherent or not) and then try to go back to sleep. I found this worked.
2: Ask your doctor for a prescription for LEGAL Anti-Anxiety Medications. I’m on 40 mg Citalopram This works some as well.
In retrospect, I’m not entirely sure which of these might be the stronger one. It probably varies some from person to person anyway.
There’s also generally talking to supportive people like spouse, parent, etc, but not everyone has a supportive person to talk to.
Meditation seems to be moderately effective at reducing neuroticism. There is a meta-analysis here that summarizes a lot of relevant data on the effect of meditation on various categories, including neuroticism. They show a greater effect size for Transcendental Meditation vs. mindfulness and other forms of meditation.
Literally?
...I’m not sure what kind of metaphor I’d be making, here. I am now genuinely curious what kinds of non-literal interpretations there are for “the dollar bill had been carefully laid on the ground, folded up, with diarrhea smeared inside the fold.”
I dunno, that just sounded so… ‘weird’ to me that I gave sizeable probability to ‘ialdabaoth means something else I can’t think of’.
Shit happens
Guerrilla biological warfare, natch :-/
The most popular anti-anxiety drug (alcohol) is legal in most places.
If you don’t like alcohol, there’s another legal drug which doesn’t have the same anti-anxiety effects, but in many places comes with a ready made social network. That drug is tobacco, in places where indoor smoking is banned. The ban helps strengthen the feeling of community. Many tobacco users claim this group membership is the main reason they smoke.
The risks of smoking tobacco probably exceed the social benefits. Nicotine itself, vaporized in an e-cigarette, is much safer. Long running propaganda campaigns have made people conflate tobacco with nicotine, so if you’re seen as a nicotine user, and don’t make any negative comments about tobacco smoking, you are likely to be accepted as part of the tobacco smokers group. Most smokers will assume you are an ex-smoker who switched. If you stand upwind smoke exposure will be minimal.
Even if you don’t like nicotine this is a workable strategy. You can use 0 nicotine liquid and it will be indistinguishable to others unless they try it. If you’re worried that somebody might want to try it and it would be awkward to refuse, it’s still possible to minimize nicotine exposure. You can suck the vapor into your mouth rather than into the lungs, where it is absorbed rather slowly. You can blow it out before you’ve absorbed much. It’s very difficult to see the difference between mouth and lung inhalation, so this won’t look odd to tobacco smokers. The fact that you’re wasting so much vapor will only make it look more impressive.
You can use an e-cigarrete with a detachable tip and carry spare tips to avoid risk of spreading disease when sharing. Carrying a lighter will also have social benefits as smokers often misplace them and sharing yours will help strengthen group membership.
Caution—mild scientific evidence for anxiety increasing effects in the long run, moderate scientific evidence that the anxious are more susceptible to dependency for this substance, not to mention that alcohol + neuroticism has an anecdotal reputation as a failure mode.
It feels like the boring / obvious thing to say, but I think it’s worth mentioning.
Failure mode: my mother smoked excessively when I was a child, which contributed to either a built-up sensitivity to nicotine, or a psychosomatic perception of the same. Either way, nicotine is non-viable.
Also, alcohol actually makes me MORE neurotic, not less, because I’m constantly reminding myself that I’m drunk, and therefore likely to do something dumb.