This afternoon I identified a way in that I strongly need to be more rational, and I wondered if there has been anything written about it on Less Wrong.
A few hours ago, I was picking up my two children from their school. They’re at a very young age so my heuristic is: near a parking lot, hang on to them.
While we were exiting the school building, another small child ran from his mother and slipped through the door between me and my youngest child. I feebly tried to grab the boy’s shirt but he tugged away and then I just watched as he ran into the parking lot. I was in the middle of a decision algorithm to chase after him when he finally settled in a safe spot beside his family’s car.
After about a full minute of playing the moment over and over in my head, I felt deeply disturbed by the fact that I hadn’t instinctively grabbed the boy to effectively catch him and then hadn’t run after him in time to save him if there had been a car. I was fully culpable: the only reason the door was open was because I was holding the door open for my kids, I knew he was running into a parking lot, and I was standing between him and his mother. But I just didn’t think fast enough. My heuristic was ‘hang on to my kids’, which I did.
This seems to have been a matter of not computing fast enough. How could I have thought faster, in a way that would have resulted in a useful action? There have been several times in the past year where I just want to kick myself for not doing the right thing at the right time. Is this a form of akrasia?
If it had been me in that situation, I might have reacted pretty much as you did, because I have a heuristic to leave other people’s kids alone when the parents are around. Nothing riles me quite like seeing someone else interact with my child in a bossy way, and I have noticed that others often react the same.
Near a school I would expect adults (including in cars) to be more on the lookout for kids running around and so my awareness of danger would be lowered relative to my awareness of etiquette and the rule to look after my own kids.
There have been several times in the past year where I just want to kick myself for not doing the right thing at the right time. Is this a form of akrasia?
No, the term akrasia should be reserved for when you have already computed what you want to do, and fail to carry through with the want.
What you describe seems more like a matter of doing the best with limited computing resources. Making what in retrospect appears to be the wrong decision should, if it has not had dire consequences, be good news: you get to adjust the internal “weights” you assign to the relevant rules, and so prepare yourself for right decisions in future.
Don’t beat yourself up for not “thinking faster”, simply reflect on your repertoire of relevant actions in similar contexts, perhaps try to expand it. For instance you may want to practice with shouting “stop” so that it works. ;)
It appears to me that you simply ran into a situation for which you were not prepared. If there are general rules you can implement that will work, that is good, but the only cure I can think of is anticipating and considering in advance many possible scenarios.
This afternoon I identified a way in that I strongly need to be more rational, and I wondered if there has been anything written about it on Less Wrong.
A few hours ago, I was picking up my two children from their school. They’re at a very young age so my heuristic is: near a parking lot, hang on to them.
While we were exiting the school building, another small child ran from his mother and slipped through the door between me and my youngest child. I feebly tried to grab the boy’s shirt but he tugged away and then I just watched as he ran into the parking lot. I was in the middle of a decision algorithm to chase after him when he finally settled in a safe spot beside his family’s car.
After about a full minute of playing the moment over and over in my head, I felt deeply disturbed by the fact that I hadn’t instinctively grabbed the boy to effectively catch him and then hadn’t run after him in time to save him if there had been a car. I was fully culpable: the only reason the door was open was because I was holding the door open for my kids, I knew he was running into a parking lot, and I was standing between him and his mother. But I just didn’t think fast enough. My heuristic was ‘hang on to my kids’, which I did.
This seems to have been a matter of not computing fast enough. How could I have thought faster, in a way that would have resulted in a useful action? There have been several times in the past year where I just want to kick myself for not doing the right thing at the right time. Is this a form of akrasia?
If it had been me in that situation, I might have reacted pretty much as you did, because I have a heuristic to leave other people’s kids alone when the parents are around. Nothing riles me quite like seeing someone else interact with my child in a bossy way, and I have noticed that others often react the same.
Near a school I would expect adults (including in cars) to be more on the lookout for kids running around and so my awareness of danger would be lowered relative to my awareness of etiquette and the rule to look after my own kids.
No, the term akrasia should be reserved for when you have already computed what you want to do, and fail to carry through with the want.
What you describe seems more like a matter of doing the best with limited computing resources. Making what in retrospect appears to be the wrong decision should, if it has not had dire consequences, be good news: you get to adjust the internal “weights” you assign to the relevant rules, and so prepare yourself for right decisions in future.
Don’t beat yourself up for not “thinking faster”, simply reflect on your repertoire of relevant actions in similar contexts, perhaps try to expand it. For instance you may want to practice with shouting “stop” so that it works. ;)
It appears to me that you simply ran into a situation for which you were not prepared. If there are general rules you can implement that will work, that is good, but the only cure I can think of is anticipating and considering in advance many possible scenarios.
Let Every Breath, Systema, and Rmax International are related systems based on the idea of learning to maintain mental focus under stress.
I haven’t worked with them myself, but the approach seems safe and plausible, and probably at least worth investigating.