At work people are paid to talk to me. If they like me or not, they kind of need to with with me. In real life, relationships don’t work that way. No one it’s getting paid to help me and every interaction with me is a choice.
Actually, I see it much the opposite way. You can choose to not to talk with people at work, eg by quitting.
It’s much more difficult to stop talking to your kids, wife. Sure, you can get divorce, but that’s kind of extreme compared to quitting the job :-)
Good point! I guess I am biased as I do not have the gift of lots of work mobility right now, I can’t change teams or jobs without lots of effort.
I guess I was thinking more friends and non-household relatives, but I didn’t say that.
Even though I butchered the analogy; I think there is still a different dynamic at play, where my kids and wife don’t owe me anything like someone who is being paid to help me.
I don’t know how it looks like at your work, so hard to judge. But, I would say that your wife and kids do owe you, and you do owe them. It’s not like you can stop carrying for your wife and kids tomorrow without breaching a strong (though informal) social contract.
And well, your colleagues are paid to do their job, but normally I would expect them to have a lots of freedom in how they do the job and how much of their attention will they spend helping other people? So, it’s still kind of a choice if they do? But, again, I don’t know your workplace, so maybe its more strict and formal?
Actually, I see it much the opposite way. You can choose to not to talk with people at work, eg by quitting.
It’s much more difficult to stop talking to your kids, wife. Sure, you can get divorce, but that’s kind of extreme compared to quitting the job :-)
Good point! I guess I am biased as I do not have the gift of lots of work mobility right now, I can’t change teams or jobs without lots of effort.
I guess I was thinking more friends and non-household relatives, but I didn’t say that.
Even though I butchered the analogy; I think there is still a different dynamic at play, where my kids and wife don’t owe me anything like someone who is being paid to help me.
I don’t know how it looks like at your work, so hard to judge. But, I would say that your wife and kids do owe you, and you do owe them. It’s not like you can stop carrying for your wife and kids tomorrow without breaching a strong (though informal) social contract.
And well, your colleagues are paid to do their job, but normally I would expect them to have a lots of freedom in how they do the job and how much of their attention will they spend helping other people? So, it’s still kind of a choice if they do? But, again, I don’t know your workplace, so maybe its more strict and formal?