Being a rationalist is not the only trait the individual rationalists have. Other traits may prevent you from clicking with them. There may be traits frequent in the Bay Area that are unpleasant to you.
Also, being an aspiring rationalist is not a binary thing. Some people try harder, some only join for the social experience. Assuming that the base rate of people “trying things hard” is very low, I would expect that even among people who identify as rationalists, the majority is there only for the social reasons. If you try to fit in with the group as a whole, it means you will mostly try to fit in with these people. But if you are not there primarily for social reasons, that is already one thing that will make you not fit in. (By the way, no disrespect meant here. Most of people who identify as rationalists only for social reasons are very nice people.)
What you could do, in my opinion, is find a subgroup you feel comfortable with, and accept that this is the natural state of things. Also, speaking as an introvert, I can more easily connect with individuals than with groups. The group is simply a place where I can find such individuals with greater frequency, and conveniently meet more of them at the same place.
Or—as you wrote—you could create such subgroup around yourself. Hopefully, it will be easier in the Bay Area than it would be otherwise.
What you could do, in my opinion, is find a subgroup you feel comfortable with, and accept that this is the natural state of things.
I’m pretty pessimistic about this, it’s never worked for me before, nor did I I find any existing subgroup in the rationality community that I could do this.
Or—as you wrote—you could create such subgroup around yourself.
Definitely, but why limit it to just rationalists in that case?
Hopefully, it will be easier in the Bay Area than it would be otherwise.
Speaking as a Bay Area native,[1] I would not use the word “hopefully” here!
(One would hope to find or create a subgroup, but it would be nicer if it were possible to do this somewhere with less-insane housing prices and ambientculture. Hoping that it needs to be done here on account of just having moved here would be the sunk cost fallacy.)
Note that as someone who has up and moved multiple times, I can assure you that it’s possible to make friends in other cities. If you’ve never moved out of your home city, I recommend doing it at least once, for a few years, even if you move back at the end.
Being a rationalist is not the only trait the individual rationalists have. Other traits may prevent you from clicking with them. There may be traits frequent in the Bay Area that are unpleasant to you.
Also, being an aspiring rationalist is not a binary thing. Some people try harder, some only join for the social experience. Assuming that the base rate of people “trying things hard” is very low, I would expect that even among people who identify as rationalists, the majority is there only for the social reasons. If you try to fit in with the group as a whole, it means you will mostly try to fit in with these people. But if you are not there primarily for social reasons, that is already one thing that will make you not fit in. (By the way, no disrespect meant here. Most of people who identify as rationalists only for social reasons are very nice people.)
What you could do, in my opinion, is find a subgroup you feel comfortable with, and accept that this is the natural state of things. Also, speaking as an introvert, I can more easily connect with individuals than with groups. The group is simply a place where I can find such individuals with greater frequency, and conveniently meet more of them at the same place.
Or—as you wrote—you could create such subgroup around yourself. Hopefully, it will be easier in the Bay Area than it would be otherwise.
I’m pretty pessimistic about this, it’s never worked for me before, nor did I I find any existing subgroup in the rationality community that I could do this.
Definitely, but why limit it to just rationalists in that case?
Good point.
Not sure how well a mixed group of rationalists and non-rationalists would function. But you could create more than one group.
Speaking as a Bay Area native,[1] I would not use the word “hopefully” here!
(One would hope to find or create a subgroup, but it would be nicer if it were possible to do this somewhere with less-insane housing prices and ambient culture. Hoping that it needs to be done here on account of just having moved here would be the sunk cost fallacy.)
Raised in Walnut Creek, presently in Berkeley.
Note that as someone who has up and moved multiple times, I can assure you that it’s possible to make friends in other cities. If you’ve never moved out of your home city, I recommend doing it at least once, for a few years, even if you move back at the end.