why your choice of monogamy is preferable to all of the other inhabitants of relationship-style-space, for you.
You may wish to rethink your assumption that American population norms apply to readers of Lesswrong. I’m pretty sure that people here are more likely to be “Rah, polyamory!” than to be knee-jerk in favor of monogamy. Also, I’m pretty sure that there are a lot of nillamorous people here who you are completely ignoring, myself included.
I would be astonished if LW’s readership conformed to American norms in any sense. But the fraction of Americans who have seriously considered polyamory, even among those who have heard of it, is tiny enough that it seemed worth tossing out there.
As for the nillamorous (google indicates you have coined the word, which is awesome, by the way): no slight was intended. While nillamory isn’t a part of relationship-style-space in the same way that atheism is not a religion, I tend to treat it as if it were, for the same reason that I write “atheist” on forms that ask for my religion. Regardless, there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring to stay away from romance.
Edit: The choice of relationship style is definitely relevant for people who are nillamorous due to circumstance. The approach one takes in looking for partners is greatly informed by what you want them to be partners for.
Asexuality and nilamorousness (za?) sound like different but overlapping concepts, to me—the latter sounds like it should refer to some other part of this Venn diagram (from here), perhaps the ‘none of the above’ section.
By circumstance. I would include the first two in the term, although being asexual would tend to reduce the likelihood of someone entering into a relationship at all.
Including within the non-amorous (I like this better) those who are so “by circumstance” is nonstandard and pretty confusing. A committed monogamous or polyamorous person defines herself as such whether or not she is currently in a relationship. For the sake of consistency, your status as non-amorous should also be independent of whether or not you are currently seeing someone; that is, you should only call yourself non-amorous if you are so by choice.
You may wish to rethink your assumption that American population norms apply to readers of Lesswrong. I’m pretty sure that people here are more likely to be “Rah, polyamory!” than to be knee-jerk in favor of monogamy. Also, I’m pretty sure that there are a lot of nillamorous people here who you are completely ignoring, myself included.
I would be astonished if LW’s readership conformed to American norms in any sense. But the fraction of Americans who have seriously considered polyamory, even among those who have heard of it, is tiny enough that it seemed worth tossing out there.
As for the nillamorous (google indicates you have coined the word, which is awesome, by the way): no slight was intended. While nillamory isn’t a part of relationship-style-space in the same way that atheism is not a religion, I tend to treat it as if it were, for the same reason that I write “atheist” on forms that ask for my religion. Regardless, there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring to stay away from romance.
Edit: The choice of relationship style is definitely relevant for people who are nillamorous due to circumstance. The approach one takes in looking for partners is greatly informed by what you want them to be partners for.
By choice, or by circumstance, or are you asexual? (And which of those would you include in the term “nillamorous”?)
Asexuality and nilamorousness (za?) sound like different but overlapping concepts, to me—the latter sounds like it should refer to some other part of this Venn diagram (from here), perhaps the ‘none of the above’ section.
By circumstance. I would include the first two in the term, although being asexual would tend to reduce the likelihood of someone entering into a relationship at all.
Including within the non-amorous (I like this better) those who are so “by circumstance” is nonstandard and pretty confusing. A committed monogamous or polyamorous person defines herself as such whether or not she is currently in a relationship. For the sake of consistency, your status as non-amorous should also be independent of whether or not you are currently seeing someone; that is, you should only call yourself non-amorous if you are so by choice.