The very fact that ‘sent to the doghouse’ exists as a cliché is the most obvious illustration. I’ll add that this kind of thing is often bad for both parties. Our instincts aren’t there to make us happy, they are there to gain power, resources and reproductive advantage. Using sex and emotional intimacy to gain power is a common failure mode in relationships and can make both people miserable to a lesser or greater degree but it does work.
(This fact is completely bizarre to me. If anyone tries to punish me to gain control or coerce me in any way they instantly lose any influence they had over me based on goodwill and I automatically feel free to use any or every means available to get what I want. That is, they have absolutely no ethical rights until such time as they are not coercing me. But I learned in primary school that other people are often quite willing to be controlled by punishment.)
More like a self-esteem thing. Nearly everyone whom I have ever known and respected (and, as far as I know, everyone whom these people know and respect) reacts in that way, and that group includes a lot of people who are as far from aspies as possible.
People who were sincerely friendly and submissive towards their abusers got called many disrespectful names, depending on the context: sluts, boot-lickers, whipped boys, pet doggies, etc.
Do you use asp to refer to Aspergers’ ?(I sometimes see ‘aspie’ but haven’t encountered asp).
It is certainly in there among the big cluster of correlated traits and labels that includes Aspergers’ syndrome and often ADHD. I don’t necessarily qualify for an Aspie label although I quite probably would if I had less IQ. I do know that i would never attempt to coerce any of my friends, lovers or enemies that I identify as having Aspergers’. I wouldn’t expect it to give good results.
Mind you I don’t coerce ‘typical’ others as much as is optimal either. The work of the mind projection fallacy. I have to remind myself that others are ‘spineless pushovers’ (my perspective) or ‘do not have an attitude problem’ (another common perspective).
Oddly enough, the archetypal serpent was a well-developed concept before J. K. Rowling was born.
Both involve social incapacity, compensated for with cold analytics. Both are potential sources of powerful knowledge, complicated by disrespect for, or incomprehension of, traditional limits on the safe use of such knowledge. Both have an unnervingly primordial feel.
The very fact that ‘sent to the doghouse’ exists as a cliché is the most obvious illustration. I’ll add that this kind of thing is often bad for both parties. Our instincts aren’t there to make us happy, they are there to gain power, resources and reproductive advantage. Using sex and emotional intimacy to gain power is a common failure mode in relationships and can make both people miserable to a lesser or greater degree but it does work.
(This fact is completely bizarre to me. If anyone tries to punish me to gain control or coerce me in any way they instantly lose any influence they had over me based on goodwill and I automatically feel free to use any or every means available to get what I want. That is, they have absolutely no ethical rights until such time as they are not coercing me. But I learned in primary school that other people are often quite willing to be controlled by punishment.)
I react similarly to attempts at coercion. Is this perhaps an asp thing?
More like a self-esteem thing. Nearly everyone whom I have ever known and respected (and, as far as I know, everyone whom these people know and respect) reacts in that way, and that group includes a lot of people who are as far from aspies as possible.
People who were sincerely friendly and submissive towards their abusers got called many disrespectful names, depending on the context: sluts, boot-lickers, whipped boys, pet doggies, etc.
Do you use asp to refer to Aspergers’ ?(I sometimes see ‘aspie’ but haven’t encountered asp).
It is certainly in there among the big cluster of correlated traits and labels that includes Aspergers’ syndrome and often ADHD. I don’t necessarily qualify for an Aspie label although I quite probably would if I had less IQ. I do know that i would never attempt to coerce any of my friends, lovers or enemies that I identify as having Aspergers’. I wouldn’t expect it to give good results.
Mind you I don’t coerce ‘typical’ others as much as is optimal either. The work of the mind projection fallacy. I have to remind myself that others are ‘spineless pushovers’ (my perspective) or ‘do not have an attitude problem’ (another common perspective).
I use ‘asp’ to refer to both autism-spectrum and archetypical Serpent qualities, because of the pun and the overlap.
Serpent? As in Slytherin (sneaky, tricky, conniving, plotting)? That doesn’t seem like there would be much overlap.
Oddly enough, the archetypal serpent was a well-developed concept before J. K. Rowling was born.
Both involve social incapacity, compensated for with cold analytics. Both are potential sources of powerful knowledge, complicated by disrespect for, or incomprehension of, traditional limits on the safe use of such knowledge. Both have an unnervingly primordial feel.
Don’t worry; I don’t actually think Rowling made that up.
But I’m surprised by the “social incapacity” part: I would think of a serpent as sort of a sociopathic master manipulator.
Doesn’t sociopathy qualify as a type of incapacity?
An emotional one. Not necessarily a social one (though it can be).
Ahh, I may just have to adopt that name. All too apt!